I read through this entire thread Saturday afternoon, and I’ve slept since then and have a terrible memory, so someone please correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this the gist of it?
Dressy family dinner at technically grandma’s house (even if it’s across the yard/3 foot fence) in plain view of multiple neighbors houses.
Everyone else in nice “church” clothes.
Great-Aunt from out of town visiting.
5 year old boy who was told on a previous day to 1) put on pants and 2) not pee in the flowerpot is again not wearing pants.
Aunt who is close and comfortable with the boy tells him to put on pants after he ignored his uncle. Then dad tells him the same thing.
I really don’t see the issue with anything the OP said/did, and when I brought this up with my sisters last night, they didn’t either. Obviously, all families have different dynamics, but we all agreed that the biggest issues were the boy not respecting his uncle/aunt and doing what he was told and then mom not keeping to what they had told him to do (not just the uncle/aunt/dad on this day, but also dad/mom on a precious day).
As far as the original question-what age should they not be pant less in front of company? My PERSONAL opinion is never. I have more modesty than normal probably, but I can’t imagine ever having allowed my child to run around without a shirt or without bottoms. As a point of reference, look up come child pornography laws. When we went to get the 12 month photos (granted, it WAS ~12 years ago), we wanted the baby sitting in a bucket without a shirt picture and were told we would have to schedule it before the 1 year birthday because to do so afterward would be breaking the law. Now obviously pictures are different than real life, but I still think it’s a valid point. Kids should be fully dressed in public not just because it’s the respectful and socially acceptable thing to do, but because of some sickos out in the world, and an open backyard is out in public.