A Grand Tour of The Entire Midwest, But Mostly Wisconsin (UPDATE 11/12--BONUS Texas TR NOW COMPLETE)

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This is my vote for the Christmas card! :rotfl2:

Anyway, we were moseying right along (because that's what you do in Texas) when suddenly, we heard a shriek. Next thing we knew, Julie came dashing up the trail right behind us. Suddenly on alert, we asked what was wrong.

"A snake just touched me!" she yelled.

Julie was wearing her sandals and walking up the trail behind us when she felt something brush her foot or ankle behind her. She looked behind her and saw a bright pink snake crossing the path. We learned later that it was a Western Coachwhip--not poisonous, thank goodness.

Yikes! That would have made me jump for sure!
 
Why? I keep warning you about it! Taco Bell is Liquid Plumber for your stomach.

I just don't get this. Really. I've eaten it all my life and have only once (recently actually) had a little issue. And even then not that big a deal.

Sorry. We'd first been introduced to them at the Sonoran Desert Museum in Tuscon, AZ.
Best museum on the planet.

I am not above such tactics.:rolleyes1

Do you combine this with the Pull My Finger for an award winning (and car clearing) combination move.

Yeah, the water level is pitiful. They have to cancel raft trips often--and turn them into canoe trips.

We did that once on a "river" in Arkansas. Carrying one's canoe over a "waterfall" is so much less thrilling.

If you've ever wondered if PB&J sandwiches get old...yes. Yes, they do.

You could always add bacon. (That actually doesn't sound half bad.)

Actually... the important thing is that if I wipe out, I have a better chance of keeping my skin on my body as opposed to spread out over the road.

Nice visual. :crazy2:
 
No, I've eaten there multiple times. Every once in a while I escape unscathed. But it's not just me. Taco Bell jokes run rampant both through my local friends and fellow DIS Dads. The damage it can do to your digestive tract is legendary!

Interesting. I've really never had a problem as far as I know and honestly we eat there a lot.....

Honestly, I just can't win! You get perturbed when I make fun of gourmet food culture, so I go in the opposite direction and make fun of the bottom of the food barrel, and I still get in trouble! :rotfl2:

You know I just love to poke fun at you wherever I can whatever scale of the food chain it may be!

Honestly, I'm really not worried about it. I think the idea of a wall is so expensive and so impractical that by the time it would actually start to become a reality, the next election cycle would be here.

I hope that you are right. You are the Engineer to be honest!

9/11 changed so much about how we do business.

I realize that on the airline front, but there are so many other factors I didn't realize....

It's very complex. On the one side, for people like these who I'm sure depend on tourism for income, any changes to the border policies affect them greatly. On the other, 9/11 taught us that we indeed had security issues to be addressed. Surely there's an answer in the middle somewhere.

I won't go further so as not to cross the politics line, but I'm always happy to talk in PM's, emails, phone calls, over coffee, whatever. I love to learn what people think.

If I had time, I'd love to hear your thoughts and share mine, but if you just listen to Magdalene's fiance on FB, I pretty much side with him, although I'm not nearly as vocal.
 
Mark just doesn't get it.

He's forgiven, though. He's not all that bright.
Movie quotes.... and that's about it, really.

That boy's cheese done slid off his cracker.

Then why do you keep telling me to go there?!?!?

Well, we don't have much to do. We need some company.

Dude... so.... wasted...... :faint:

It's like you're inside my head.

You just saw what @QueenJen posted and capitulated.
Admit it.

I'm willing to concede that she's probably a much better judge of what looks good on a guy than I am.

Was the smack upside the head helpful?

It never is.

This is my vote for the Christmas card! :rotfl2:

I'd be totally up for it! Gotta convince the missus. :thumbsup2

Yikes! That would have made me jump for sure!

Welcome to Texas!
 


I just don't get this. Really. I've eaten it all my life and have only once (recently actually) had a little issue. And even then not that big a deal.

Do you and @franandaj own stock in Taco Bell or something? I'm really surprised at the vigorous defense being offered.

All I can say is, Taco Bell has been the easy, go-to diarrhea joke among my circles for as far back as I can remember. And with the guys I normally hang out with, you need a go-to diarrhea joke. It's definitely a thing.

Is it exaggerated? Of course! That's what jokes do!

Best museum on the planet.

That is a great one. I would also offer up the Chicago Museum of Science & Industry, though.

Do you combine this with the Pull My Finger for an award winning (and car clearing) combination move.

That's only in times of emergency.

We did that once on a "river" in Arkansas. Carrying one's canoe over a "waterfall" is so much less thrilling.

Yeah...this is where you wish you had just stayed in bed.

You could always add bacon. (That actually doesn't sound half bad.)

Bacon makes everything better!

Nice visual. :crazy2:

Seriously. I'm trying to eat lunch here.

It'd be worse without the leather!

Gah! That's it. I'm done.

I was talking about the scenario without leather. But any wreck on a donorcycle is a BAD wreck.

Reading between the lines, I don't think Liesa is a fan of motorcycles. Just a hunch.

Interesting. I've really never had a problem as far as I know and honestly we eat there a lot....

It's a thing! I swear!

You know I just love to poke fun at you wherever I can whatever scale of the food chain it may be!

If I dish it out, I have to be able to take it. But I'm keeping my easy diarrhea jokes. My TR's just don't work without them.

I hope that you are right. You are the Engineer to be honest!

My predictions in politics haven't turned out to be very accurate lately, though.

I realize that on the airline front, but there are so many other factors I didn't realize....

Probably too many ramifications to count.

If I had time, I'd love to hear your thoughts and share mine, but if you just listen to Magdalene's fiance on FB, I pretty much side with him, although I'm not nearly as vocal.

I'll take further discussion offline into a PM.:thumbsup2

Heh. "donorycle". I'm benefitting mankind, I am! (or will)

Not sure I'd be so excited about that...
 
Do you and @franandaj own stock in Taco Bell or something? I'm really surprised

Ha! This is funny! No, I've just always liked the place. It was always an alternative to the average burger and fries joint. Even though I like those, I prefer a wide variety of foods and with Fran not liking to walk into places, we'll it's one place with a drive thru that's different.

If I dish it out, I have to be able to take it. But I'm keeping my easy diarrhea jokes. My TR's just

And I thought about it for while and I really couldn't come up with a better alternative. I wouldn't want your TRs to go without diarrhea jokes! :rotfl2:
 
Well, the benefit of falling way behind on the DIS is reading a whole bonus TR (so far) in one sitting! :thumbsup2

Very interesting to hear about a part of the country I haven't travelled to and don't know much about, thanks!

Best of luck to Sarah with the back surgery! :goodvibes
 
‘Bout time I got around to this update.
Missed some pretty good conversations as well.
Typical...



Several years ago, there was a tourism ad campaign for Texas in which the slogan was, “Texas: It’s Like A Whole Other Country.”
I remember that…
There are times when I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t much bother me.


I assume one of the rejected slogans was, “Texas: There’s A Whole Lot of Nothin’.”
That has its charms as well, though.
It implies that there are a myriad of places where one could hide the bodies.


Pro Tip: when driving around west Texas, keep a close eye on your fuel gauge.
When the dusty little convenience store sports a sign reading: “Last Gas for 97 Miles”…
You’d find it best to consider it more of a warning than a challenge.


So she wandered down the street to a grocery store while I filled up with gas. I mean, er, I filled the van with gas.
So your tank was still plenty full at this point, I take it.
And with a captive audience as well…


I had just turned the wrong way down a one-way street.
Hooligan!



Wait…
Why is it that a town situated better than fifty miles from any other smattering of humanity and possessing only two paved streets in the first place found it necessary to establish them as being unidirectional?

Was this some type of Tumbleweed Preservation Measure?

A decision on the part of the local Chamber of Commerce, to ensure anyone driving through would be compelled to at least read the signs for all of the remaining businesses, per chance?


Luckily, it was fairly early in the morning and traffic was light.
Rush Hour must be a veritable Mad House ‘round there.


A few people were staring at me from their front yard and I gave them a friendly, “Yep! I’m an idiot!” wave.
A skill honed over many decades…


I figured if anyone pulled me over I’d tell them I was a Canadian tourist named @pkondz and I wasn’t used to these American roads.
Hummm…
Yeah, I’d buy that one.
Good plan.


We also spotted a group of javelinas to the side of the road.
Ahhhh…
That may explain the need for the strict traffic control back in town…
regular infestations of road hogs.


We stopped here for our traditional beautifully composed photo of the kids looking like angels in front of the park sign.
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Gonn’a have a hard time topping that one.


Just trying to keep it real for you by pulling back the curtain and revealing all that goes on behind the scenes.
And we didn’t even have to pay extra to tour the Utilidors…
What a bargain.


I figured while we were there, I’d get a photo of me and the missus as well. It would make a good Facebook profile picture, don’t you think?
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Not bad at all.

I also notice that the guest photographers for this part of the trip have a clear understanding of composition.


The hike is a great one because you can enter at the base of the canyon, rather than having to climb down from the rim.
Meaning that it’s even possible that I might be able to pull it off.
Still no guarantee, but…


EDITED to add one of the most important parts of the whole trip:
And to protect the names of the innocent


The rest of us get impatient tend to move ahead while she arranges her artsy-fartsy compositions.

All this does is prove that we are jerks…
This needed proving?


Anyway, now you can say that Julie and Indiana Jones have something in common: a healthy dislike of snakes.
Why does the canyon floor…
Move?


Being a kind, sensitive family, we made sure not to bring this incident up at all for the rest of the week.
Whoa…

Excuse me; I had to duck for cover there for a moment.
Oddly, there was this rather large flock of flying pigs fluttering through the building down here.
They came in quite low, too. I think they’re gone now, but I’ll need to keep an eye out for them…


Now, what was it you were sayin’ again?


You can see that the water was very low in the river. It’s like this much of the year due to dams in the river much further upstream.
So…
Rio Not-so-Grande…
Anymore

Reminds me of something rather off topic, I was on about a while back.


Nice shot of most of the fam, there.
Lose the smiles, convert it to monochrome, and it could pass for an album cover


The residents sneak across the river in the boat, leave their wares on the hiking trail, and then float back to the other side of the border. They depend on tourists using the honor system for payment.
Right honorable
Of everyone

We hope



(I’ve been in a bit of a mood of late, so I’m staying away from most of the potentially political spots)


Thankfully, his big sister’s sunglasses helped.

G9yO6C08Hht-yQqUM1etmJv722JxRPFuXy81_Z9ctiOnLLttQ55-0usqUDsSEgbnlm-ckMmC2z8jtUct2E0uO_COHVwnxSHXLVPOI_0wEcHcKsSU4r4F9kjoX7UFZGqR75WhENZNXeqIBPQQ3-LP4xQUoGO_668Y-LZgLEEJ-A8CjMaEc0rdbB-y15zVUC-G62TeO0_MwBBPBWR0PTKsQA3rzjEqKTey6ouABTPdAhvEsf5h5GWIDbl4WsEn_o8r6nc2T6V9dPdh4xQrgoY1WZ_uvWdM5ukjW5uRfs4KrX2znDtjgrMy76UephiE_GuqKliaznLJ3RZ2GyAIlh7VyzW4vP3ovLB7JCq7i_GD0qI7jbkJRRk8SOVp5I2sYFriMayqZZsb5ie9uA0-oZiMAAY-0rI4qZFGZHKEaINlJIgotxr_NpgYFiby6YZdpHN7h2ETINWlCSqd37ciPvClxNKbffCAWbLydRXOLWPAXqK_h1nSmvu2ESZ_0r9B2Dl-RxKjwecRDx4jctdegmKFHS1jcmCg9N7vOvP4kTPsSUyaGN9xm6jbsDlDPvt-S5Cj9Aq-umz_Sk_eP4vsKjQEnOabODpt626A8dfXsqTcWw=w1248-h832-no
And that one garners a “cute, cute, cute” award.



Being mid-to-late afternoon, it was also the hottest part of the day and temperatures were well into the 90’s at this point. For you Canadians, that's like 2000 Celsius or something.
Coincidentally, we were just working up a set of conversion charts on this very topic over in the clubhouse today.


They even have bears that live in the woods up there.
That explains all of that bear sh…
Ummm….

Nevermind.


This was Dave’s 13th birthday, which meant we now had two teenagers plus a toddler living under our roof. Please pray for us.
Y’all gonn’a be needin’ some of them there extra heavy-duty industrial strength prayers for a while.


And I got chicken parm, and I liked it, so you know I have to say it: Chicken parm, you taste so good. You're welcome for the earworm.
Rat fink!


It doesn’t matter. I don’t know if the photos in this chapter will convince you, but we really fell in love with Big Bend.
No, no…
It’s on the list.
Assuming I don’t have to apply for a visa to travel there in the future.
 
Uh, huh... And what was it again that you called the country?

That was only the tip of the iceberg by which I derived its name. I could regale with stories for a very long time.

I found when I did the contest I lost readers. They weren't competitve enough (except for Liesa) and they didn't care enough, the contest became yet another burden.

Who me? Competitive. Puh-leeeze. ;)

Sorry I'm slow on the updates to this TR. Life has been very busy the last couple of weeks! I'm hoping things calm down soon.

I'm glad we're in the same boat!!! I came here thinking, "Crap, I"m gonna have like 14 pages to read." Nope! Only 4 or so!

I love you guys. Always willing (and eager) to call me out on my B.S.

You can count on us!

So...my wife reminded me that I completely forgot to include one of the most entertaining parts of the day in this chapter. I'm going to go back and edit the chapter for posterity. It happened at the beginning of our hike into Santa Elena Canyon. I can't believe I forgot to include this!

I did go back and read! I like snakes for sure! I actually think they are very pretty and fun to watch, and was sad when we had to give ours up, but I don't like being startled by them at all.

Do you and @franandaj own stock in Taco Bell or something? I'm really surprised at the vigorous defense being offered.

All I can say is, Taco Bell has been the easy, go-to diarrhea joke among my circles for as far back as I can remember. And with the guys I normally hang out with, you need a go-to diarrhea joke. It's definitely a thing.

Is it exaggerated? Of course! That's what jokes do!

I can diarrhea joke with the best of them... can I still play here?

That is a great one. I would also offer up the Chicago Museum of Science & Industry, though.

Someday, I'll get there. My longest-standing friend lives in that area, and I may just go visit her one day and visit that place.

Reading between the lines, I don't think Liesa is a fan of motorcycles. Just a hunch.

Nah, I don't mind 'em at all. Just know that a wipe out is gonna have MUCH more dire effects that if you'd had airbags and steel around you.

If I dish it out, I have to be able to take it. But I'm keeping my easy diarrhea jokes. My TR's just don't work without them.

We all have our trademark running gags. Most of them are about as classy as yours.

Ha! This is funny! No, I've just always liked the place. It was always an alternative to the average burger and fries joint. Even though I like those, I prefer a wide variety of foods and with Fran not liking to walk into places, we'll it's one place with a drive thru that's different.

I think for me it's just mostly nostalgic comfort food. Mom would pick us up from school and at least once a week we'd head there for a little after school snack. Then as teens we just kept going as it was cheap and like Alison says, something different than the ho-hum burger. I've never been a big fan of burgers anyway, so well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

And I thought about it for while and I really couldn't come up with a better alternative. I wouldn't want your TRs to go without diarrhea jokes! :rotfl2:

The fact that we all laugh at them is astounding commentary on the maturity level of this crowd. (Yes, I include myself.) :cool:
 
Well, the benefit of falling way behind on the DIS is reading a whole bonus TR (so far) in one sitting! :thumbsup2

Very interesting to hear about a part of the country I haven't travelled to and don't know much about, thanks!

Hey, welcome back! Thanks for reading along!

Best of luck to Sarah with the back surgery! :goodvibes

Thank you so much! It's going to be coming up much quicker than I realize...

‘Bout time I got around to this update.
Missed some pretty good conversations as well.
Typical...

Welcome back! I've been scarce around here lately, too.

I remember that…
There are times when I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t much bother me.

But then we all remember how much we love steak.

That has its charms as well, though.
It implies that there are a myriad of places where one could hide the bodies.

Sounds like somebody knows more than he's letting on.

When the dusty little convenience store sports a sign reading: “Last Gas for 97 Miles”…
You’d find it best to consider it more of a warning than a challenge.

::yes::

So your tank was still plenty full at this point, I take it.
And with a captive audience as well…

I can do this all day.

Hooligan!



Wait…
Why is it that a town situated better than fifty miles from any other smattering of humanity and possessing only two paved streets in the first place found it necessary to establish them as being unidirectional?

Was this some type of Tumbleweed Preservation Measure?

A decision on the part of the local Chamber of Commerce, to ensure anyone driving through would be compelled to at least read the signs for all of the remaining businesses, per chance?

That's a great question. Maybe their city planners were overly optimistic.

Rush Hour must be a veritable Mad House ‘round there.

The 8:00 cattle drive is known to snarl traffic.

A skill honed over many decades…

::yes::

Hummm…
Yeah, I’d buy that one.
Good plan.

Whew. I thought it sounded plausible.

Ahhhh…
That may explain the need for the strict traffic control back in town…
regular infestations of road hogs.

Mmm...bacon.

Gonn’a have a hard time topping that one.

Well, as you can see, we kept trying.

And we didn’t even have to pay extra to tour the Utilidors…
What a bargain.

You'd have been better off in the Utilidors.

Not bad at all.

I also notice that the guest photographers for this part of the trip have a clear understanding of composition.

Thank goodness!

Meaning that it’s even possible that I might be able to pull it off.
Still no guarantee, but…

You can definitely handle this one.

This needed proving?

Maybe reinforcement.

Why does the canyon floor…
Move?

Asps. Very dangerous. You go first.

Whoa…

Excuse me; I had to duck for cover there for a moment.
Oddly, there was this rather large flock of flying pigs fluttering through the building down here.
They came in quite low, too. I think they’re gone now, but I’ll need to keep an eye out for them…


Now, what was it you were sayin’ again?

I can never understand why no one believes me.

So…
Rio Not-so-Grande…
Anymore

Reminds me of something rather off topic, I was on about a while back.

Well, those farmers need their irrigation.

Nice shot of most of the fam, there.
Lose the smiles, convert it to monochrome, and it could pass for an album cover

We still haven't found what we're looking for.

Right honorable
Of everyone

We hope



(I’ve been in a bit of a mood of late, so I’m staying away from most of the potentially political spots)

There is the counter-argument that this is maybe not the best long-term business model.

And that one garners a “cute, cute, cute” award.

We've often said that it's a good thing he's cute.

Coincidentally, we were just working up a set of conversion charts on this very topic over in the clubhouse today.

I saw that briefly. Feels like I haven't checked in over there in forever. Just not enough time lately.

That explains all of that bear sh…
Ummm….

Nevermind.

:lmao::rotfl2::rotfl:

Y’all gonn’a be needin’ some of them there extra heavy-duty industrial strength prayers for a while.

::yes::

Rat fink!

You're welcome!

No, no…
It’s on the list.
Assuming I don’t have to apply for a visa to travel there in the future.

I think you'll be fine. By 2021, they'll start tearing down anything that went up.
 
I'm glad we're in the same boat!!! I came here thinking, "Crap, I"m gonna have like 14 pages to read." Nope! Only 4 or so!

I just haven't had any spare time lately. Feels like forever since I've checked in here.

You can count on us!

::yes::

I did go back and read! I like snakes for sure! I actually think they are very pretty and fun to watch, and was sad when we had to give ours up, but I don't like being startled by them at all.

I imagine most people don't enjoy those close-up encounters.

I can diarrhea joke with the best of them... can I still play here?

You're always welcome here!

Someday, I'll get there. My longest-standing friend lives in that area, and I may just go visit her one day and visit that place.

I think you'd love it! Chicago is such a cool city.

Nah, I don't mind 'em at all. Just know that a wipe out is gonna have MUCH more dire effects that if you'd had airbags and steel around you.

Sure, that makes sense. I doubt I'd ever be found riding one, but you never know.

We all have our trademark running gags. Most of them are about as classy as yours.

Pull my finger!

I think for me it's just mostly nostalgic comfort food. Mom would pick us up from school and at least once a week we'd head there for a little after school snack. Then as teens we just kept going as it was cheap and like Alison says, something different than the ho-hum burger. I've never been a big fan of burgers anyway, so well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

In college, nothing else was open at 2 a.m. when we were hungry. And you could get like 10 tacos for $3. But we had a few nights when we still regretted that decision.

The fact that we all laugh at them is astounding commentary on the maturity level of this crowd. (Yes, I include myself.) :cool:

We are true connoiseurs of toilet humor.
 
Once again, I apologize for my relative scarceness here. It's been incredibly busy and I haven't had much time to catch up on TR's or even update my own. Plus, my computer is being a butt (to borrow my daughter's phrase) and isn't uploading photos to Google for storage. So I'm still trying to figure out that part as well, because I don't have the whole Texas trip uploaded yet. :badpc:
 
That boy's cheese done slid off his cracker.

See???

Well, we don't have much to do. We need some company.

So you're willing to inflict your dullness on others for your own gain.


Huh. So am I.

I'm willing to concede that she's probably a much better judge of what looks good on a guy than I am.

Well... yeah.

Once again, I apologize for my relative scarceness here. It's been incredibly busy and I haven't had much time to catch up on TR's or even update my own.

No worries Mark. We all have lives, we get it. :)

Plus, my computer is being a butt (to borrow my daughter's phrase) and isn't uploading photos to Google for storage. So I'm still trying to figure out that part as well, because I don't have the whole Texas trip uploaded yet. :badpc:

Well.... that sucks.
 
Thank goodness Mark is busy! I *might* be able to stay caught up for more than 1 day.

(Hang in there.... I can totally relate!)
 
Who said anything about looking good? Safety first! ;)

Always!

So you're willing to inflict your dullness on others for your own gain.


Huh. So am I.

Inflicting my dullness on others for my own gain? I thought that was called "my trip reports".

No worries Mark. We all have lives, we get it. :)

Admit it, you're all thinking: "Great, one less TR to have to worry about!":rotfl2:

Well.... that sucks.

I think I figured out the computer issue, at least. Still working on the free time.

Thank goodness Mark is busy! I *might* be able to stay caught up for more than 1 day.

(Hang in there.... I can totally relate!)

I'm sure you can! That trip is coming up fast! (Hopefully you're nailing down that free time in D.C. too.)
 
You'd have been better off in the Utilidors.
Have seen 'em...
Interesting, but once will do.


Asps. Very dangerous. You go first.
Oh, my friends! I'm so pleased you're not dead!


We still haven't found what we're looking for.
Pretty sure you you have actually run across Joshua Trees before.
Now, good roads to go with them...
That's a different story.


There is the counter-argument that this is maybe not the best long-term business model.
The all barter economy may well be nearer the horizon than we'd like to think.


We've often said that it's a good thing he's cute.
It's is his only defense at this stage.
My young'en used that ploy to his great advantage.


I think you'll be fine. By 2021, they'll start tearing down anything that went up.
I ain't so sure 'bout that.
listening to the talk that is now both open and common around where I live...
The only take away is that nothing has changed since I was a young'en myself.
Not... One... Thing...
 

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