Dreams? Yeah, I've got a few. A November 2022 PTR **Update 9/8 - The State of Play**

Hey, I left a movie out. The Petrified Forest (1936) was based on a play of the same name, starring Bette Davis, Leslie Howard and Humphrey Bogart as a waitress who dreams of leaving her desert home, a penniless and suicidal drifter, and a killer on the run, respectively. Davis and Howard strike up a relationship that seems to end as quickly as it began until Bogart takes Davis hostage in her father's diner and Howard returns for a fateful confrontation. Solid film with solid performances but films that are based on plays can end up feeling very claustrophobic to me. There ends up being more telling than showing sometimes which can take you out of the story. 3 1/2 out of 5 tumbleweeds

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I haven't talked about my sister yet. She's 8 years younger than I am so we weren't all that close growing up. She was always tattling on me during my teenage years and that got old, fast! However, after I moved in with my dad after high school I started to take on a semi-motherly role towards her because our mother wasn't interested in mothering. That's continued through to today with somewhat of a break during her marriage. She got married in her mid-20's and had 3 boys, all spaced 2 years apart. Brady is 11, Jack is 9 and Finn is 7. A few years ago her husband was transferred to Michigan when he took a promotion and she followed him with the boys a couple of months later after the house was sold. A few months after that he dropped the bomb that he wanted a divorce. Shortly thereafter he moved to Kentucky for another promotion. So there she was in a strange state, alone, with 3 kids to care for after the divorce was final. He's barely seen the boys over the last year or so and only FaceTimed here and there. And now? He's gone. Killed in a single car accident last night. The online article says the cause of the crash was speed. I can't imagine what the boys are going through at this time. I know that I'm angry. My sister is angry. I'm saddened over any loss of life but right now I'm just p*ssed off that he could be so selfish to leave his kids officially fatherless.

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Almost 8 years ago when we all went to Disneyland. He made the trip almost unbearable for me with his anger and mood swings but I'm still glad to have spent the time with my sister and the boys. One day I'll get to 'sad', but not today.
 
My sister has been through the wringer this past week and is dealing with things that I can't even imagine. I know they were divorced, but she is still in mourning for her ex, at the very least as the father of her children. She's had to deal with a million phone calls related to life insurance, social security benefits for the kids, his house and car, and family and friends checking in. Not to mention the tension of wondering if the accident was truly an accident or caused by the (psycho) girlfriend who was also in the car. The detective told his mother that they both had very high BAC and the car was going at least 90mph so it seems that it was truly an accident and not something intentional on her part. He was a very troubled man and I'm glad he didn't kill anyone else that night.

The good news is that she is the beneficiary of everything. He even kept her name on the house he owned in Kentucky after she signed papers relinquishing ownership and her name was also on his bank accounts, which she definitely did not expect. Social Security is paying over double what she was expecting it to in benefits for the boys. She's going to be comfortable, but not wealthy by any means. This means she can pay off her student loans eventually and debt that she accrued in the past couple of years of just living day to day as a single mom of three boys. She student taught last school year and made very little money while finishing her teaching credential. She deserves every dime she gets.

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Good morning, gentle readers! :wave2: It's been a few weeks since my last post but it feels like much longer due to everything going on in the world. Gabe and I have been immersed in our sports since baseball and basketball started up again. He's a Dodger/Laker fan and I'm an A's/Kings fan. World Series match up, perhaps? That would be loads of fun in our household. I haven't done any movie watching because we've got the MLB Extra Innings package so there is always a game on. The only TV show I'm keeping up with is the ReidOut, with the one and only Joy Ann Reid. As painful as it is, I make myself keep up with the daily circus that our country is living through in this scary time.

In good news, Gabe has started to feel amazing since he started taking medication for his lingering depression. The divorce process has been extremely hard on him and truthfully he's been dealing with a low grade depression since we met. It just got exponentially worse since they actually filed the papers. He's working out a ton and continuing to see his therapist and is now super excited for OUR future together. He was doing a lot of living in the past mentally and that was holding us back. We're in the place that we deserve to be - finally!

Also good, my sister is back at work and I really think that will help her move on and not dwell on all the recent tragedy that she's had to experience. I'm so glad that the boys are starting school and they'll get to see their friends again soon. (Michigan is sending kids back into the classroom.)

On the negative side, I haven't had any motivation to work out at home and of course our gym across the street is still closed. Gabe also belongs to another gym that moved all their workout equipment into a giant tent in their parking lot to keep their business going. I've been maintaining my weight but not losing.

There's nothing new on the planning front either. Disneyland isn't happening this year for obvious reasons and that's for the best, budget-wise. We're still in a holding pattern wrt the divorce. The ex has been dragging her feet for the past few weeks. Seems like just yesterday she was saying how she just wants it over. 🙄 We just want the divorce decree and the money from the house buyout at this point. We need to get in a house ASAP. There's so much exciting stuff coming, but for now, it's hurry up and wait. Sigh.
 


Good afternoon to all! I haven't had too much to update lately so I've been quiet around these here parts. We're still waiting for the official divorce decree to be sent by the court and are also still waiting for the money from the house buyout. The money should be here in less than a month since it was in underwriting a week or two ago. As to the courts, who can say in these COVID times how long that will take. Although we don't yet have the actual money in hand we've got a document stipulating that it's on the way and that means that we've officially started looking at houses!

We looked at two houses over the weekend. I loved the first one from the second that I saw it online and it was even better in person. 4 bed/2 bath with an updated kitchen and nice backyard with a pool. Yes, please! So yep, we put in an offer on the first one we saw. Houses are flying off the market these days, especially in our area because we have a lot of Bay Area folks moving over here since they've moved to full time telecommuting. We were so excited when we got home on Saturday and might have enjoyed ourselves a bit too much. We still managed to go out on Sunday morning to see another home. That one was way too small and outdated for our needs. We're really looking for a four bedroom because we've got his 2 kids on most weekends and we'd love an extra room for his parents to stay in when they come up and visit from Morro Bay.

So Sunday passed with no word on the house and I was fine. Monday was another story. I know the most common time frame to hear whether your bid is accepted is 24-48 hours but I was chomping at the bit to hear from our realtor. Every time Gabe's phone would make noise, my heart would stop and I'd just stare at him until he finally assigned the realtor his own ringtone. Well, we got the text on Monday evening that our bid was not accepted. We are however in the second position if the first deal falls apart. I was so disappointed but I kept it together. All day yesterday I had a house hangover but woke up feeling amazing this morning. Gabe told me this was going to be an adventure!

Another positive...we finally got to make our appointments to get our tattoos done in early December. Gabe is getting something (not sure what yet) on his lower left inner arm and I'm getting paw prints going from my mid to lower back up to my neck. We've been trying to get simultaneous appointments for months but CA has had tattoo shops closed (except for a brief reopening) since March. I haven't gotten a tattoo in 20 years so this will be like the first time all over again.

Things are moving forward...just slowly.

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We got our HOUSE!!! Gabe and I are over the moon. My feet and back are crazy sore from moving over the last 3 days but it's so worth it. Yes, it's a wreck at the moment and the garage is filled with boxes, but that's par for the course, right? We cleared out my storage unit a couple of weeks ago and now all of those boxes are in the garage with the stuff from our apartment. Worlds colliding!/Seinfeld

His parents came up from Morro Bay to help us move and to visit the kids and help set up their rooms. Kaleb's got a teenage boy haven with a recliner and a huge TV to play his video games. Kara's got my old queen bed, which she loves and she chose to put her TV in the closet to give her more space. All of her artwork is displayed on shelving that lines the walls left by the previous owners.

So far I've been working mostly on the kitchen. It's going to be my happy place. I'm trying not to get too OCD over it and relax but it's hard with all of the work that I know it's going to take to make it so that we're happy with it. I just try to remember that perfection is the enemy of the good.

Anyway, the house! It's a 3 bed/2 bath beauty with a huge backyard complete with pool, spa, shed, garden and gazebo/hangout area. Almost everything has been upgraded in the interior. Beautiful kitchen cabinetry and granite counters, new tile in the bathrooms, new carpet in the bedrooms and family room...sigh. It's more than we could've hoped for. Dreams do come true!
 


Happy end to 2020 all! I have been very lucky in that the affects of 2020 have been minimal in my life besides general inconvenience. Trust me, I fully realize that this year has been the opposite for so many of us in this country. I'm totally disgusted that so many people have been lost who didn't have to die. How many days until inauguration? 😞

Onto the happier portion of my update! Gabe's a teacher so he's been off for the holidays. He's been using the time to get things done around the new house. Half of our garage is still filled with boxes (mostly from my old storage unit) so Tuesday he dragged it all out into our driveway and tried to condense it as much as he could before putting it back in the garage. He rebuilt his metal shelf that goes in the garage and set that up on the left side by my car. I believe the deep freezer is going to be alongside that depending on where the outlet is in the garage. We won't have to worry about it until March, that's how back-ordered the one we bought is right now.

I've been immersed in setting up the kitchen. Gabe was telling me last night he's keeping some things in the garage for now because he knows what a one track mind I have and doesn't want to distract me from the kitchen. 🤣 Yesterday he built our dining set that is going in the nook area. It's opened up so much room in the kitchen because it's only a two-seater and the stools fit underneath the table and it's pushed against the wall. We can look out the windows while we eat. It's also got three small storage shelves in the front where I can put knickknacks or whatever. I love items that are extra functional!

Aside: Just got word from my boss that I can go home early if the two appts I have scheduled for later can reschedule. 🥳

Back to the kitchen sitch. I'm responsible for all of the cleaning, except mopping. I hate to mop. Gabe cooks and I clean and bake. Speaking of which, I can't wait to start baking again! Baking was on hiatus in the old apartment because the kitchen was too small for the two of us to be in there at the same time. I think that Kara (Gabe's 11 year old) will really enjoy baking with me. We did it once at the old old apartment, but like I said, the last apartment kitchen was just a nightmare and I lost my baking mojo. So tomorrow I'll be going thru the rest of the baking accoutrements that I haven't gotten to yet and finding homes for it all. And reorganizing the refrigerator which seems like is going to be a weekly thing. Gabe's kinda sloppy and throws things in there without a plan. I'm the one with an eye for detail. I also have some more boxes to open. We bought new serving trays, plates, etc. Oh, and a new Nordic Ware angel food cake pan. I can't wait to see the look on Gabe's face when I unbox that one. Yeah, I might have one too many bundt pans already. I will say this was all bought from Amazon using a gift card that I received for Christmas from my dad and step-mom. So no debt incurred there.

After finishing the kitchen I will likely start on the bathrooms. I have packages of mats and toilet covers waiting for each bathroom so I'll get that set up and then start situating my toiletries and makeup in the master bath. I'm finally going to stop using my bathroom travel case and find everything a permanent home! Of course I have more makeup than space for it so it's going to be a challenge to make the most of what cabinets and drawers that I do have. I can't wait to stop tripping over boxes when I get up in the middle of the night. Next up will be setting up my clothes in the bedroom closet. (Actually it's in the bathroom but whatever.) Right now we have the nightstands set up but we're still waiting for the big dresser to be delivered. And the upright dresser is still out of stock on Wayfair so that's even farther out. Hence the tripping over of boxes in the dark.

So that's where I'm at on this NYE. Still getting settled in but content. Looking forward to a lovely night in with my love. Hoping to accomplish my weekend goals. Still hoping to get home early. (My customers have not returned my phone calls yet. 😠)

I wish for nothing but the best in 2021 to all who read my updates! I will try to share more in the year to come. Putting myself out there is very therapeutic I have found.

Bring on 2021!!!
 
Have I mentioned that Gabe loves to cook? Well he does. Now that we have the kitchen that we've been waiting for he's apt to make soups, meals, appetizers or anything when the spirit moves him. In the space of a week we got him two new toys to play with - a new smoker (so far he's smoked tri-tip and a whole chicken) and a new BBQ grill for his birthday that I bought using my covid stimulus money. OK, not the best use of my funds I admit, but I felt he deserved something he really wanted and now he doesn't need to nurse along the old grill for another year. Anyway, he creates piles of dirty dishes. Which I am not complaining about! But. I'm responsible for all of the kitchen clean up - he cooks, I clean and bake. Now he'd love to pitch in and help with the dishes because he feels bad that I do it all but he does so much else around the house that I won't let him help at all. And I'm far better at cleaning than he is. 😜 So my point is that my hands are getting soooo dry. I know, I know, I need to wear gloves. But I don't. I'm keeping my hand lotion handy but I'm not using it as much as I should. My hands are already getting older looking because I use hand sanitizer at work as well as latex gloves. Vanity alert: I want them to look nice when I get something sparkly to put on my left hand.

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So keeping up with journaling here was obviously a FAIL for the first half of 2021! I'm resolving to remedy that going forward. I don't have much to update as of now IRT major life events. We've just been enjoying our house, working and visiting with family this summer. I haven't been out of town since 8/2019 and I'm itching to take a trip. Thankfully we're going to Clearlake next Friday. We're staying at a hotel where the rooms are made out of old train cabooses and each one is themed differently. Initially we'd thought about going to Tahoe but the hotel prices were so jacked up. This is a nice alternative and it's reasonably priced. I'm not going to guess as to whether we'll come back engaged. I'd rather just enjoy myself and not set myself up for disappointment. I shall report back...

ETA: I booked Wilderness Lodge last week for our honeymoon in Nov 2022!
 
I have a fiancee! So here's the who, what, where, why and how of it all went down because it's certainly not all about the bling! Gabe and I desperately needed a getaway (I haven't been out of town since 8/2019) so we decided on Clearlake, CA. Specifically Upper Lake and the Featherbed Railway Bed & Breakfast. Initially we wanted to go to Tahoe but the hotel prices were insane. The B&B was much more reasonably priced and each 'room' has its own theme. I say 'room' because you're actually sleeping in a vintage railroad caboose that's been converted over. Our caboose was the oldest on property (1937!) and had a tropical theme.

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We arrived around 5:45pm on Friday, checked in, checked out our caboose and dropped our belongings before we took a 5 minute jaunt down the road to The Boathouse Bar and Grill. We had a super fun time just hanging out and being together. Shout out to our bartender Nicole! She served Gabe her own creation: the Nicilicious, which is a lot of alcohol that smells like banana and is topped off with a full can of Red Bull. She poured the Red Bull on top of the filled glass and Gabe had to drink enough from a straw so that it wouldn't spill over. He ended up having two. :crazy2::crazy2::crazy2:

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The B&B served us a great homemade breakfast the next morning. On Saturday she served a zucchini frittata, German sausage and a wonderful berry-filled scone. Sunday was eggs to order, biscuits with sausage and gravy, a watermelon salad and a fabulous fried cheese and grits cake. Neither of us could finish it all.

After breakfast on Saturday we'd planned to go on a nature walk at Highland Springs which is on the west side of Clear Lake. It was so hot already at 10:45am. 🥵 We parked and started down a nearby trail. I was already baking after walking 5 minutes. I had a hat on but my Irish skin doesn't care much for the sun. Luckily the trail became shaded for a few minutes and I got to cool off a bit. Then all the shade went away and Gabe looked down the trail and saw that it was in full sun as far as the eye could see so he suggested that we turn back to the shaded area so that we could take some pictures. I eagerly accepted that idea! So we toodled on back to a shaded clearing and he set up his tripod so we could take pictures together. We took a couple (and seeing them afterward omg I need to start doing something about this weight!) and then he tells me to turn around and look. I looked up in the tree but he was trying to show me the deer walking by about 20 feet from us. I watched it until it wandered out of sight and turned back around. I briefly saw him fumbling with the backpack so I turned back around for another few seconds in case he was doing what I thought he was doing. Which he was! I stood there staring into the trees for what seemed like forever, wondering if he was going to propose. I noticed that he was acting nervous so I pretty much knew what was going to happen but I couldn't quite bring myself to believe it either. And then he did it. Said some sweet words and then got on one knee and asked if I'd marry him.

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Of course I said YES!!!!

He slipped the ring on my finger and you couldn't wipe the smile off of my face for the rest of the day. Then we started the celebration at O'Meara Bros. Brewing in Lakeport. We went back to our caboose for a nice nap and then later went to Kelseyville to try out Kelsey Creek Brewing. We finished our day with an excellent meal at Saw Shop Public House and I was just done after that. We were going to hang out outside of our caboose under the stars but I was too tired. 😴

We drove back home after breakfast Sunday morning and mostly relaxed for the rest of the day. The weekend was perfect except for the heat but that's not what I'll remember in years to come.
 
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Congratulations to you both! Can't wait to follow along on your journey towards married life!

Thank you @rubyeskimo ! We finally became Facebook official on Monday night as engaged. Next up is to tell the kids. They're over our house this afternoon and evening so I'm going to push to tell them what's going on. Of course it's Gabe's decision because they're his kids but I'd hate for them to find out from someone else. I've also sent an email to the company I want to use for our wedding next summer. They advised they'll get back to me within 48 hours. :woohoo:
 

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