Frustrated...angry...upset...Just need to vent

[JodyTG]

You guys are right. We shouldn't have made allowances for an extra person, but live and learn.

My DH says that we should just keep the plans the way they are and get AP's which will be good for 3 trips (Dec 25-30 2005, June 2006, and Dec 17-27 2006) and just be happy that we'll be saving money that way.

Both of the girls are upset that their plans for next summer fell through, but this will never happen again. I've already told my daughter that our family vacations will be just "family" from now on. Besides, once our DS turns three, it won't even be possible to invite someone, because we don't have enough points for a 2 bedroom villa...yet .

 

[crisi]

Note to self:
Never make DVC vacation plans that I won't be happy with if my fickle friends back out.

We learned this one - not with DVC, but when trying to take a different family trip.

After trying to work over the schedules of eight adults and two elementary school kids, the trip fell through.

Lesson, we are inviting the batch to WDW, but on "our week." They make it or they don't. We get to dictate the terms because we are paying for the room. Only thing I'm worried about is them backing out on us and us getting stuck with extra rooms. Even there, I'm not too worried. My biggest back out risk is my sister and her partner....and if that happens we will just use the two bedroom for my family and get the kids off the sofabed.

 

[poohj80]

Thanks to everyone who shares experiences like this. The more I read, the more I am convinced that when we are in a similar situation, the best thing for us will be to put our family plans first and if the extra person/people can't fit in with our plans then sorry, but maybe next time. I've just read too many stories like this one of people backing out for whatever reason.

 

[Disneyrsh]

I'd like to add another reason not to travel with your kids friends. I did it twice when I was a teenager, and by the end of both trips (with different friends) I was sooo glad it was over. The first trip my friend wouldn't eat anything that our family ate and lived out of the hotel vending machine, and she turned into a really crabby, whiny drip-saying things like 'oh, this is so bogus' and generally being a buzz kill.

The second trip my other friend turned out to be severely allergic to horses, and we were at the Kentucky Derby! And plus my mom said she felt really left out of the whole family thing because my friend and I spent all our time talking to each other and not really functioning like a traditional family unit.

 

[emsip]

I feel your pain....pixie dust for your trip.

 

[Deemarch]

Keep your plans and chalk it up to experience.

We're going to try a week in a Grand Villa with our married kids & grandchildren (4 adults & DGD 9, DGS 2) next September. BUT we have a backup plan. Well really we have many backup plans! LOL. If one family backs out, if the other family with kids backs out & if both back out! This way we won't be disappointed (or surprised) with any outcome.

I've learned well from reading all of the stories on the DISBOARDS!!!

 

[RayRing]

JodyTG,

I am sorry things worked out the way the did.

I am a bit of a planner, and know that if this happened to me, it would really bother me.

I hope you can make the best out of a bad situation, and really enjoy what ever you end up doing.

I won't even guess why the other family did what they did. I stopped trying to figure out other people a long time ago.


Not now, but sometime in the future, before you were presented with the another situation, you might want to come up with a plan of how you would deal with a similiar situation. Given the ages of your children, there might be another discussion about travelling with a friend.

After this experience stops smarting, and after you have a great visit to WDW, you might want come up with..... What I'll do next time.


Ray,

 

[keishashadow]

What a disturbing development...I think you're taking it very well. Hope your daughter isn't too upset w/change in plans. Wonder if the neighbor is trying to leverage a free flight out you for her DD?

Other than short, weekend trips, our family vacations are just that: family only. We look at them as time to re-connect with each other.

Can't imagine a child/teenager, even one there by themselves, being "bored" @ WDW??? My sophisticated teenager seemed to enjoy the opportunity to act like a kid @ the parks (sort of like Mom & Dad do too).

Disney's already full of Princesses - they don't need another one .

BTW - nothing wrong with a good, old-fashioned mid-life crisis. Hope you all enjoy the magic.

 

[Shawn]

Someone said:
> The first trip my friend wouldn't eat anything that our
> family ate and lived out of the hotel vending machine.

Apparently not all parents teach good manners to their children. When you are invited to someones house for dinner, you say thank you and you eat what they provide. You don't insult them by turning up your nose at it. We have 3 daughters, and we really try to teach them manners, especially to have gratitude and not to complain when they are guests.

Anyway, back on topic ...

I'm voting with the folks who suggest you keep your plans the way they are now. Don't go through the hassle of changing them. If your daughters friend doesn't go, so be it. Chalk it up to experience. Perhaps a different friend will go, or if not, you will still have a nice vacation next June.

SHawn

 

[dizplanner]

We are doing an extended family vacation next March, but I am not worried about the other families backing out was our neice is a big Disney nut (West coast style i.e. Disneyland) and they already have their airline tickets too. (We actually book found good prices the same weekend and booked at the same time. Our flights are actually both connecting in Dallas and we will be on the same flight into Orlando.) The only change could be that BIL (neice's father) could decide to come after all, but since we have a OKW Grand Villa, going from 9 to 10 shouldn't be a problem.

I just found out that one of DD's friends will be in WDW the same week. While I'm not going to be changing my plans for it, I will give my plans to by DD to give her friend. If they happen to be in the same park, I will have no problems with the friend joining us or even allowing the girls to go off on their own for a while (they are 14) although I may send DS along (he's 16) if he is willing. If it works out this might be the best solution - giving DD some time with her friend, but we are not reasonable for her nor will we have a friend around all the time, so will have time for family. Just luck though.

 

[JimMIA]

I'm sorry that you're having this problem, but I have two observations and then another alternative to consider.

The observations are that there are really two problems in this scenario. The first is that you apparently scheduled the trip for the purpose of accommodating someone other than your family. We've all seen enough of those turn bad, and I doubt that anyone was surprised -- although I'd bet most of those trips turn out fine and we never hear about them. But needless to say, that was a risky proposition from the start.

The second observation, however, is that you used borrowed points to fund your risky proposition. That's compounding the felony. Borrowing points for something like this increases your risk exponentially.

And now the alternative. Have you thought about renting the reservation, or renting the points? I hate to see you take a vacation you don't want to take just to avoid losing the points. WDW's not cheap, even if you have no out of pocket expense for lodging.

You have plenty of time to rent the points, either with the current reservation or just the points themselves. Just be sure you protect yourself in any rental transaction, because as you are well aware, you can't put these points back.

 

[NMW]

It sounds like something strange is going on there. Maybe she doesn't want her daughter driving through LA, or is worried about another hurricane? Who knows. Anyway, I'm glad you are not letting it ruin your plans.

FYI: We flew with our kids at that aprox. age. If you give them something to suck on at take off and landing (bottle, sippy cup, etc.) the ear pain isn't an issue. At least it wasn't for my 3 kids-they slept though all the landings!

 

[JodyTG]

Well, we decided to talk about our options this weekend and make a decision on what we're going to do. Whether we just keep things the way they are or change the reservations, we're not going to lose any points. If we switch res around, we'll just make sure that the 71 borrowed points are used and bank the regular points (if we don't use them all ).

But, if we don't switch, I know we'll have fun. We used to go to WDW in June until we discovered how much more magical it is in December.

I decided that it's not worth it to be too upset. (The two girls are taking care of that all by themselves.) I'll just roll with the punches and never, EVER put myself in this position again.

 

[mark&sue]

I do feel for you. I absolutely hate flying (we took a ferry to Spain from UK for 36 hours in 2003 to avoid flying!). I would feel much happier if my daughter were to go in a car rather than flying. Having said that we took our daughter on a plane trip when she was 11 months and again when she was 18 months and she was fine.

However I can't imagine letting my daughter go to WDW without me!!!! However old she was!!! In fact I hate anyone going to WDW withou me!

We always travel with friends so know the up and down side. We bought more points than we needed so we could have friends come with us!!

I like your husband's idea about getting the use of the APs and three times within 12 months seems like heaven.

Hope you make the right decision for your family.



Susan

 

[dianeschlicht]

I would feel much happier if my daughter were to go in a car rather than flying.

I have always had a hard time with that logic. My DD feels the same way, but driving is statistacally so much more dangerous than flying.

 

[JodyTG]

I agree that flying is safer, but I know how much MY ears hurt (and my DD's) for a few hours after we land, and I'm just not ready to let my DS go through that agony.

DH doesn't have those problems, he used to jump our of airplanes in the Army.

 

[Laurabearz]

I would call MS and see if you can add a day or two(or three lol) to the Christmas reservation, cant hurt... worse that can happen is they say no..., AND go in June, just for less time... LOL Hit the parks hard in Dec. and hit the water parks hard in June.

(((((Hugs)))))) About 1/2 of our DVC trips involve someone else, so I feel your pain. I dont think we will ever take kid's friends, but then again I have great memories from when I was younger and we took friends with us... but then again I was oblivious to all the behind the scene garbage parents have to deal with to pull something like that off. Does that make sense???

 

[Best_Vacation_EVER!]

You'll have a great family vacation either way....

It may in fact be due to the fact that the friend really has motion sickness on long car trips. When I was a child on any car trip more than about 1/2 an hour I'd be totally motion sick. Tried the regular stuff (Gravol, Pepto, etc.....), the flaps on the car, etc... but it was really not a very pleasant experience for me on a car trip. I went to the doctor who prescribed a better motion-sickness medication (only needed it until I was about 23) and now I'm totally fine on any long car trip.

If your DD is really keen to have her friend come along maybe her friend/friends mom could check with the doctor to see if there is something they can do to help with the motion sickness thing. I'm pretty sure if my parents had of let me take a friend to WDW I would have thought they were the best parents ever (it was until I was about 25 that I realized exactly how really amazing they were all along.)

Have a great time either way.

 

[Cruelladeville]

Jody, you live in Texas, and you are worried about Florida's heat? I would look at the silver lining, and invest in annual passports.

I think you should count yourself lucky that the princess backed out! It would have been a very long trip if she had been along! We always take friends, but why?. This summer we had DD's 25 year old friend with us--she called her mom when she woke up, and before AND after every ride she was on! She logged over 1000 minutes for a 4 day trip! I know she was excited, but REALLY!!

And, Shawn, parents apparently don't teach their children trip manners, and sometimes not any kind of manners. On one trip DD's friend(a different one) made good use of the couch while we were out It was sure a shock when we returned to the room early!

 

[iluvvacay]

Don't let it ruin your trip, why not ask a different friend for your daughter or a cousin or someone. There must be someone who would give their right arm for a free stay at the happiest place on earth. If she does bring a friend wait a little longer to ask someone, perhaps toward the end of the school year, who knows by then she might have a new friend or boyfriend who would like to go. Don't let this spoil your trip. I think it is great you are getting to go twice.If you really don't want to go this summer,here's a possible option. Did you consider reallocating your borrowed points to your dec vacation and banking this years points to next year-that is if you are still in the banking window for this year. Ask MS what your points situation is.