Other Canadian Cancer Story

excited family

Earning My Ears
Joined
Oct 2, 1999
Obviously I have decided to start my own thread after posting a lot of details on Rodeo's thread. I will do a quick recap of what I have already posted and then I will update. My husband had an annoying cough since November and on February 27th he had a chest x-ray just to "make sure it wasn't anything important". There was a mass on his lung so he had a CT scan of his torso on March 7th. We were urgently called in to our family doctor's office that afternoon to be told that my husband probably had lung cancer and it had spread to his liver. On March 12th, my husband's 50th birthday, we saw a specialist who reiterated what our doctor had said but gave a lot more details. My husband's upper left lung was collapsed and there was some fluid in his chest cavity. She arranged to have some large lymph nodes in his left neck biopsied, and she also drained some fluid which she also sent for testing. My husband also had a brain scan, which was clear, and a bone scan. The bone scan showed that the cancer had spread to his spine, ribs on both sides, and his left hip. It was confirmed that my husband has stage 4 non-small cell lung cancer. It is adenocarcinoma.

We saw a radiation oncologist on April 6th at the cancer clinic in Victoria, which is a 2 hour drive away. He arranged for my husband to have 5 radiation treatments from April 10th - 16th. The goal was to shrink the central tumor in his left lung so that air could get through to re-inflate his left lung. It was also supposed to help with the back pain my husband was feeling. Up until this point my husband had been mainly fine. He had been working still but this all changed after radiation. He took the days off during radiation, the Tuesday after it finished, and then he went back to work on Wednesday April 18th. By Friday he was so tired and weak. On Saturday I was actually worried he was dying because he could barely move and he was asleep all day long. The same continued on Sunday, and his voice had also gone. He now croaks and is very quiet. I was so scared that I called the nurse help-line at the cancer agency that Monday but they said that as long as he was eating, it was ok. The radiation oncologist had also told my husband that there was more fluid in his chest which should be drained after radiation. So we saw the specialist again in town and she drained 2 liters! That made my husband feel quite a bit better and he could stand upright once again.

So he didn't work all last week, and mainly slept on the couch all day and then slept all night. He was slowly spending more time awake. His parents and sister came to visit from last Thursday until Monday. They stayed at a motel near by but it completely wore my husband out. He was not as bad as the weekend of the 21st-22nd but just sitting there talking was too much. They also took him out for a couple of quick meals, which he enjoyed eating but it exhausted him.

On Tuesday, 1st May, he had an appointment with a general oncologist in Victoria. This appointment had been made so late with the intention of having received all lab work on his biopsies. WRONG! The oncologist was quite annoyed that the lab still had not figured out if his cancer has any mutations. They are hoping that it does, because targeted therapy is the best course of treatment. Specifically the EGFR mutation. If that comes back positive then he only has to take a pill and life expectancy is doubled. WE WANT THAT MUTATION.

Because of the delay, the oncologist couldn't finalize a treatment plan. However, since there is a couple of weeks waiting list for chemo, he has arranged for that to be set up for my husband. If the mutation comes back positive, then we will cancel chemo and go the targeted therapy pill route. We should hear any day now. The best part is that either treatment can be done at the hospital in town, rather that 2 hours away.

We got the horrible survival numbers from the oncologist. Untreated the average is 6 months. Treatment adds on average 3 months. The only goal of treatment is to extend what life he has and make it more comfortable. The oncologist said that my husband "will die of lung cancer". The only question is when. My question that I forgot to ask is when do they start counting down from? Is it today? Is it from his first x-ray, which was 2 months ago?

I have told the kids everything. I can tell everyone all the facts. But if I start to think about what is going to happen, I start to lose it. My motto is "don't think". My Dad asked me some tough questions yesterday which I not ready to think about. It made me so sad that he has already started to think about what HE can cut back on so that he will be able to help me and the kids. Life is so complicated already. I am the sick one and my husband is supposedly the healthy one! Taking over all his chores is really hard. He did all the grocery shopping because I am allergic to chemical and smells. The cleaning aisles make the whole store stink to me. My kids are helping me figure out how to do everything.

My kids have been amazing and that worries me. I think we are all in denial and trying to not think about it. My husband is also starting to realize that this is happening. The oncologist being blunt about this killing my husband was needed to get mu husband to accept that this was going to end badly. Too many friends have been telling him success stories about cancer in their families and he was thinking he would have one too. I knew just from reading online about how bad the situation was. My heart is not ready yet.

I have received so much support already from posting on Rodeo's thread, and I am so grateful. It really helps which is one reason why I started my own post. Another is that I also get the feeling that people are already invested in my ongoing situation. It astounds me that you, Rodeo, have found the time to think about me and my family as you and yours go through everything which has happened.

I will try and update as I find things out.
 
Obviously I have decided to start my own thread after posting a lot of details on Rodeo's thread. I will do a quick recap of what I have already posted and then I will update. My husband had an annoying cough since November and on February 27th he had a chest x-ray just to "make sure it wasn't anything important". There was a mass on his lung so he had a CT scan of his torso on March 7th. We were urgently called in to our family doctor's office that afternoon to be told that my husband probably had lung cancer and it had spread to his liver. On March 12th, my husband's 50th birthday, we saw a specialist who reiterated what our doctor had said but gave a lot more details. My husband's upper left lung was collapsed and there was some fluid in his chest cavity. She arranged to have some large lymph nodes in his left neck biopsied, and she also drained some fluid which she also sent for testing. My husband also had a brain scan, which was clear, and a bone scan. The bone scan showed that the cancer had spread to his spine, ribs on both sides, and his left hip. It was confirmed that my husband has stage 4 non-small cell lung cancer. It is adenocarcinoma.

We saw a radiation oncologist on April 6th at the cancer clinic in Victoria, which is a 2 hour drive away. He arranged for my husband to have 5 radiation treatments from April 10th - 16th. The goal was to shrink the central tumor in his left lung so that air could get through to re-inflate his left lung. It was also supposed to help with the back pain my husband was feeling. Up until this point my husband had been mainly fine. He had been working still but this all changed after radiation. He took the days off during radiation, the Tuesday after it finished, and then he went back to work on Wednesday April 18th. By Friday he was so tired and weak. On Saturday I was actually worried he was dying because he could barely move and he was asleep all day long. The same continued on Sunday, and his voice had also gone. He now croaks and is very quiet. I was so scared that I called the nurse help-line at the cancer agency that Monday but they said that as long as he was eating, it was ok. The radiation oncologist had also told my husband that there was more fluid in his chest which should be drained after radiation. So we saw the specialist again in town and she drained 2 liters! That made my husband feel quite a bit better and he could stand upright once again.

So he didn't work all last week, and mainly slept on the couch all day and then slept all night. He was slowly spending more time awake. His parents and sister came to visit from last Thursday until Monday. They stayed at a motel near by but it completely wore my husband out. He was not as bad as the weekend of the 21st-22nd but just sitting there talking was too much. They also took him out for a couple of quick meals, which he enjoyed eating but it exhausted him.

On Tuesday, 1st May, he had an appointment with a general oncologist in Victoria. This appointment had been made so late with the intention of having received all lab work on his biopsies. WRONG! The oncologist was quite annoyed that the lab still had not figured out if his cancer has any mutations. They are hoping that it does, because targeted therapy is the best course of treatment. Specifically the EGFR mutation. If that comes back positive then he only has to take a pill and life expectancy is doubled. WE WANT THAT MUTATION.

Because of the delay, the oncologist couldn't finalize a treatment plan. However, since there is a couple of weeks waiting list for chemo, he has arranged for that to be set up for my husband. If the mutation comes back positive, then we will cancel chemo and go the targeted therapy pill route. We should hear any day now. The best part is that either treatment can be done at the hospital in town, rather that 2 hours away.

We got the horrible survival numbers from the oncologist. Untreated the average is 6 months. Treatment adds on average 3 months. The only goal of treatment is to extend what life he has and make it more comfortable. The oncologist said that my husband "will die of lung cancer". The only question is when. My question that I forgot to ask is when do they start counting down from? Is it today? Is it from his first x-ray, which was 2 months ago?

I have told the kids everything. I can tell everyone all the facts. But if I start to think about what is going to happen, I start to lose it. My motto is "don't think". My Dad asked me some tough questions yesterday which I not ready to think about. It made me so sad that he has already started to think about what HE can cut back on so that he will be able to help me and the kids. Life is so complicated already. I am the sick one and my husband is supposedly the healthy one! Taking over all his chores is really hard. He did all the grocery shopping because I am allergic to chemical and smells. The cleaning aisles make the whole store stink to me. My kids are helping me figure out how to do everything.

My kids have been amazing and that worries me. I think we are all in denial and trying to not think about it. My husband is also starting to realize that this is happening. The oncologist being blunt about this killing my husband was needed to get mu husband to accept that this was going to end badly. Too many friends have been telling him success stories about cancer in their families and he was thinking he would have one too. I knew just from reading online about how bad the situation was. My heart is not ready yet.

I have received so much support already from posting on Rodeo's thread, and I am so grateful. It really helps which is one reason why I started my own post. Another is that I also get the feeling that people are already invested in my ongoing situation. It astounds me that you, Rodeo, have found the time to think about me and my family as you and yours go through everything which has happened.

I will try and update as I find things out.


Bless you and your family. I am far away from you in Mississippi, but your story even on Rodeo's thread, has touched my heart.

I am keeping your family in thought and prayer. And just prayed for the intercession of Sts. Jude and Peregrine,patron of impossible causes and cancer to intercede to God on your family's behalf.

Please continue to come here for a shoulder to lean on, cry on, or scream on.

How old are your children? Kids are so tough and resilient, but it's still not fair they have to deal with this.

Here's hoping for a mutant gene!
 
There are no words. I am so, so sorry you are going through this.

As Rodeo’s thread is proving, we are here for you. If you need a shoulder at 4 A.M., someone will be here for you.

Thinking of you and your family in this difficult time.
 
I remember your story and you family is in my prayers. It’s a very similar one to my mom’s, right down to her being the healthy one (she and her lifelong BFF used to discuss plans about where they were going to travel,when their husbands died). Her time with us was much shorter than anticipated. Honestly, even though she was a second mother to my kids (took my teens on college visits, traveled alone with my daughters across the country and overseas, drove many carpools...), my kids handled it better than I did, I was almost resentful of them, how life just seemed to go on.
 


Hugs to you all! I've been following along with you and rodeo, and my heart aches for what you all are going through. One step at a time. One foot in front of the other. You are doing an amazing job doing hard things. Know that prayers are being said for you and your family, too.
 
I have been praying for your husband and your family ever since I read about your terrible situation on Rodeo's thread. Peace and grace to you during your journey Excited.
 


I am so sorry to hear this and will keep you in my thoughts as I have Rodeo. Wishing you the best news, and for all the healing the universe can provide.
 
Cancer sucks!!! I am sooo sorry for what your going through. I have been down that road. I am sorry to be blunt, but please, have the Hard conversations now and get your financial ducks in order while your DH can still help you. You know from Rodeo's thread I lost my DH to cancer. He began sleeping more and more as the disease progressed. Eventually it settled in in brain above the pituitary gland. This caused balance issue and finally off and on blindness. Please double check his will as well. My DH worked for the government. When he went on disability from his job, it was like closing on a house. Sign here, initial there on multitude of papers. Out of kindness, department updated our wills. They did mine first then DH but forgot to switch the executor. In short, my DH was executor of his own will and I did not catch it until after he died. Everything worked out but it gave me a few more gray hairs I didn't need. Find out who handles what. Little did I know the next morning after he died I would be in an auto accident which was not my fault, but I knew who to contact and where to take the car. Make sure you have all passwords too. My cousin lost her DH this year to heart attack. He took care of all the bills online. She is not computer literate and had not passwords. It was a mess trying to get that under control. Get this kind of stuff cleared now so that as this journey unfolds it won't be a burden. My head was ready, but my heart wasn't and so days still isn't. One day at a time, dear friend. There is never enough time in this situation no matter how long you have left.
 
My heart goes out to you and your family. Your life is in roller coaster mode and it sounds as though you’re you’re doing all you can. From Rodeo’s thread, a lot of people told her to accept help when it’s offered and you’ve got to just say yes to kindness when it’s given to you. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
 
For grocery shopping, does Walmart or any of the Loblaws brand stores have click and collect service near you? We have it in Ontario and I know Alberta does, just not sure about BC. It could be quite a lifesaver for you! I’m so sorry life has thrown this rock at your family, I would say curveball but it’s so much more than that. I’ll be thinking of you and following along.
 
Loving thoughts, heartfelt prayers, warm positive vibes your way! The DIS is here 24/7, stay strong, love stronger!
Blessings to the whole family!
 
I have also followed your story from Rodeo’s thread. I will keep your family in my thoughts. :hug:
 
Cancer casts it's net far and wide; there is nowhere to hide. We found out yet another close friend has cancer recently. It really, really sucks!

My prayers to you, your DH and your family!!
 
You sound like you have a very good handle on things. You are strong! Keeping you in my prayers, and I agree with others, we're here for you any time of day or night. :grouphug:
 
I too was reading your story in the other thread. Prayers are with you and your husband as well as your children.
 
My kids have been amazing and that worries me. I think we are all in denial and trying to not think about it. My husband is also starting to realize that this is happening. The oncologist being blunt about this killing my husband was needed to get mu husband to accept that this was going to end badly. Too many friends have been telling him success stories about cancer in their families and he was thinking he would have one too. I knew just from reading online about how bad the situation was. My heart is not ready yet.

I have received so much support already from posting on Rodeo's thread, and I am so grateful. It really helps which is one reason why I started my own post. Another is that I also get the feeling that people are already invested in my ongoing situation. It astounds me that you, Rodeo, have found the time to think about me and my family as you and yours go through everything which has happened.

I will try and update as I find things out.

Bolded, is what I experienced with losing my Mom. So much is "fight, fight, be positive, fight." But you can't will cancer to go away. The day my Mom died, my Dad admitted he didn't believe she would die. That there would be a miracle. So there were conversations that didn't happen, that should have. So that's why my posts on Rodeo's thread were always along the lines of "prepare for the worst." If he is that 1 in a small number, that makes it, the preparation didn't hurt anything. But if it doesn't go the way everyone wants, at least there is the tiniest bit of still having a sense of control to hold onto.

My first post to Rodeo I said to record his voice, because it's not always that simple to get voicemails transferred and safely saved. Then I saw her post, after, about having a single voicemail. So I'll tell you the same. Use a computer, tablet, audio recording on the phone, have him record something..stories, jokes, stupid comments that have meaning to your family, whatever. Even if you never listen to it, because it's very hard to keep back the tears...you know it's there.

I suppose the silver lining, if there can be any, to Rodeo's story is that you know how fast things can completely go downhill. Even when time is running out, you think there will be just a little more. And sometimes that's not what happens. But both you and Rodeo know that you are not alone.

Virtual hugs and positive energy coming your way.
 

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