To Medicate or Not - that is my question

[LauraVV]

I just received an email from his teacher who was responding to an issue I'd emailed her about. She brought up that he has a hard time distinguishing real life from fantasy. Would medication help with that too?

This is a seven year old boy, right? Of course he can't distinguish fantasy from reality.

My 10 year old daughter (SID) believes in Santa, the Tooth Fairy, etc. So does my perfectly normal nine year old granddaughter. At age seven my son (not diagnosed but doc said last week he likely has a PDD like Asperger's)believed he could fly. I had purchased PJs that were like costumes (Superman and Batman) and had capes. He jumped down entire flights of steps. After he nearly flew out a window I sat down with him and told him he could not fly. I said, "Honey, you're falling, not flying." He looked me straight in the eye (which is tough for him) and said, "Mom, when I'm falling I'm flying." How could I argue with that logic?

We've tried stimulants over the years and they've never helped with attention issues. He's not hyperactive but has poor attention.

 

[breezy1077]

This is a seven year old boy, right? Of course he can't distinguish fantasy from reality.

My 10 year old daughter (SID) believes in Santa, the Tooth Fairy, etc. So does my perfectly normal nine year old granddaughter. At age seven my son (not diagnosed but doc said last week he likely has a PDD like Asperger's)believed he could fly. I had purchased PJs that were like costumes (Superman and Batman) and had capes. He jumped down entire flights of steps. After he nearly flew out a window I sat down with him and told him he could not fly. I said, "Honey, you're falling, not flying." He looked me straight in the eye (which is tough for him) and said, "Mom, when I'm falling I'm flying." How could I argue with that logic?

We've tried stimulants over the years and they've never helped with attention issues. He's not hyperactive but has poor attention.

Oh my gosh! DS did the same thing. He had Superman pjs and dh and I were in our home office which faces the stairs. This was when my son was non verbal so I'd learned to read his mind, and when I saw his face at the top of the stairs I yelled to dh to get him (I was seated behind a desk). DH flew up the stairs and luckily caught him on the first bounce which happened midway down the stairs. He just put out his hands like an airplane and pushed off stairs to "fly" . Luckily, no injuries, but we have always had to watch him like a hawk. My son did this a little younger than yours, but at an age that a typically develping child would know better. Before dx all the other mothers on the playground thought I was way over protective, but I knew my child would just step off the climbing equipment. Thanks for sharing, I can't believe someone had an almost identical incident.


I think the teachers might be referring to his constant "character" acting. He'll take on a character from a show or movie and replay a scene over and over or just stay in character. They probably don't even realise that the real kid only makes an appearance about 60-70% of the time. They just asked me if we have relatives in Texas because ds keeps talking about his brother who lives there. I asked if they mean "dead-eye Texas", because ds has been telling us the same thing ever since he watched Spongebob's Pest in the West, and I think it's spongebob who has a brother there. He likes the dead-eye Tx part because they say it in a southern twang and he likes to repeat it. But dh and I had a good laugh about that one.

 

[BeckyScott]

This is a seven year old boy, right? Of course he can't distinguish fantasy from reality.

My 10 year old daughter (SID) believes in Santa, the Tooth Fairy, etc. So does my perfectly normal nine year old granddaughter. At age seven my son (not diagnosed but doc said last week he likely has a PDD like Asperger's)believed he could fly.

Okay, I gotta laugh.

My first thought was, there are many drugs that would make the reality/ fantasy thing worse. Probably not ADHD meds, more like the good 60's hippie drugs... but I digress...

My 10-year-old still has trouble with this too, he's in transition right now I think. Like he still wants to believe in Santa and super heroes, but I think some little narcs at school have started to spoil the fun. He just did lose a tooth last week. Brought it home from school, and said he was going to put it under his pillow to "find out if the Tooth Fairy was real or not". I thought I was in for trouble, like he was going to rig it up or alarm it or something, he's pretty creative that way. But he didn't, as usual knocked out like a light. He believes all Santas are fake except for one particular one we go see every year. He doesn't believe in the Easter Bunny 'cause logic took over and rabbits don't lay eggs, he says, plus the only time we met the Easter Bunny it was a really bad one.

After they get old enough to decide they don't believe, then they move on to video games, which lead them to believe that they are the Terminator. Sometimes I think my 42-year-old DH still has trouble telling reality from fantasy.

 

[breezy1077]

Okay, I gotta laugh.

My first thought was, there are many drugs that would make the reality/ fantasy thing worse. Probably not ADHD meds, more like the good 60's hippie drugs... but I digress...

My 10-year-old still has trouble with this too, he's in transition right now I think. Like he still wants to believe in Santa and super heroes, but I think some little narcs at school have started to spoil the fun. He just did lose a tooth last week. Brought it home from school, and said he was going to put it under his pillow to "find out if the Tooth Fairy was real or not". I thought I was in for trouble, like he was going to rig it up or alarm it or something, he's pretty creative that way. But he didn't, as usual knocked out like a light. He believes all Santas are fake except for one particular one we go see every year. He doesn't believe in the Easter Bunny 'cause logic took over and rabbits don't lay eggs, he says, plus the only time we met the Easter Bunny it was a really bad one.

After they get old enough to decide they don't believe, then they move on to video games, which lead them to believe that they are the Terminator. Sometimes I think my 42-year-old DH still has trouble telling reality from fantasy.

My ds recently saw a "bad" bunny too. I mean the sneakers were showing under the costume and not much is lost on a kid who notices everything. Now he keeps asking me if there are people under there just dressed up like characters (most recently asked about the WDW characters). I guess I'm perpetuating the fantasy because I told him I believe they're real. I remember reading a post awhile back about the subject, and I'll never forget the poster who wanted to be told they were real and had their hopes dashed at a young age. So - the fantasy continues. I think he was actually relieved when I told him they were real.

 

[LauraVV]

He just put out his hands like an airplane and pushed off stairs to "fly"

I think the teachers might be referring to his constant "character" acting.

My son "flew" down a flight of stairs. We live in a 4 Square house with one big set of stairs a landing, and then the rest of the flight downstairs. At the landing there was a large window. Well, the sill prevented him from "flying" out the window.

My daughter is ten. She just stopped (mostly) pretending to be an animal. She can do any animal you can think of. She has movement, sound, and characteristics down pat. OK, she did this much longer than most kids but, my goodness, a rich fantasy life is a wonderful thing.

My kids' teachers have been pretty sure that they both have ADHD. Guess what? They don't. Sometimes other conditions make one appear to have ADHD. Stimulants may be ineffective for ADHD-like disorders.

How is your child's hearing? Processing? My son's eye contact isn't the best. He's also quite disorganized. He often makes appears inattentive. Stimulants don't help this. My daughter has NLD, SID, right sided sensorineural hearing loss, and CAPD. She also appears inattentive (and sometimes hyperactive). Both have significant fatigue. Stimulants have not worked for either child.

 

[robin09]

Michelle,

Would you mind pm'ing me about the diet? Little background, DD9 now 9.. diagnosed aspergers, adhd, sensory problems and ocd... At age 3 or 4 I began researching sensory problems, before she was diagnosed with anything.. I took away the foods with color dyes, behavior improved..
age 5 she was diagnosed, put on concerta.. absolute horror, 10 days later no more concerta... It took me 3 years to even think about medicating her again. She was put on seroquel to help her sleep and strattera (she put on 18 pounds in 1 year. ( Which wasn't bad because she rarely would eat and at 8 years old she was 41 pounds. now she is 59 pounds at 9 1/2.) Seroquel helped, strattera did nothing, I stopped the strattera.

Last month they tried her on adderal, the sleep was less with it, less eating. School she was grumpy in the am, and then did better, but as the week would drag on, she got nastier and nastier, rude.. I stopped the adderal.

What got me is when you mentioned the blue dye in the marshmellows. I knew about that, and I kept her away from it MOST of the time/ But being the guilty mom, watching others roasting marshmellows... what is the harm in a couple of marshmellows? It's not the red 40 that makes her beserk? Maybe I should read more on this diet... I do try to keep her dye free, but I'm laxing up on it, as she gets older... blue dye? ok, you've been decent for a week.... I really have to get a grip. It's so hard when people look at you strangely when you tell them about the dyes... It's hard when she can't eat mac and cheese because of the yellow dyes.... It's just hard to be the mom she needs, constantly watching, and hearing BUT MOOOOM the other kids..... ok, off my tangent, thanks for listening to my rambling words....

Not to be combative at all, but there has been more recent studies that have made pediatricians look twice at the whole ADD/food additive issue.

http://www.feingold.org/Research/PDFstudies/AAP08.pdf

I would post the direct link to the American Academy of Pediatrics site, but you need a subscription to view. Some children (like my own) have an actual neurological reaction to the chemicals that are in our food. When my daughter was in kindergarten, the teachers told me that she had the intellectual level of a 3 1/2 year old, but I knew she knew the answers to the questions they were acting when we did them at home. She could just not focus at school. I, too, struggled with the medication issue. Then I found Feingold. I figured what could it hurt to give it a try? My pediatrician all but called me crazy and a bad parent for depriving her of these foods. (I guess feeding my child grilled chicken and broccoli instead of chicken nuggets and french fries is bad parenting). So, against his advice, I tried it anyways. What happened over the next 3 weeks was nothing short of miraculous. All of a sudden I had a child who could pay attention, was social with others, and behavioral difficulties almost completely disappeared. What sealed the deal for us was when her speech teacher accidentally gave her a single marshmallow (they have blue dye in them to make them appear whiter). She turned into a complete monster before the teacher's eyes. Turned everyone in the school into a believer!

Ever since that incident we have been additive free. DD made up a year and 1/2 intellectually in the 6 months that followed. That was 2 1/2 years ago. She still struggles with focus issues at times, but she is very smart and has scored around 100% on all of her spelling tests this year and just brought home a math test where she scored 95%. So, for us, the ADD was mostly a constant reaction to the foods she was exposed to. Oh, and I then fired her peditrician.

To OP, I wish you all of the luck in the world in your decision. I know this is a very difficult decision for any parent. If the diet wouldn't have worked for us, I would not hesitate to go the medication route. There is nothing worse than to see your child struggle. To BeckyScott, if you want any more info on my Feingold experience, feel free to PM me.

Michelle