Maybe my wife and I are lucky to be on the same kind of schedule, maybe its a bit of a compromise, but the best advice that I have read is that it is a vacation and you will be back so you don't have to do everything this time around.
We tend to do short trips with a specific goal in mind. Last year it was the Halloween Party, this year, Christmas. We both have a couple of "must do's", Pirates and Haunted Mansion so we have fast passes. We love a leisurely stroll around Epcot, eating and drinking when we want (no rides here for us).
We plan together, restaurants, rides, parks etc. make sure that we hit each others top 3 and the rest we roll with it. If it happens, great, if not, next time.
Whatever you decide, have a great time