This is Us- Season four

[brockash]

Here’s the thing though: it sounds like everyone in your situation is on the same page. It’s pretty awful of Randall to go behind his siblings’ (and Miguel’s!!! Rebecca has a husband!!!) backs and drop a GIGANTIC guilt bomb on Rebecca to manipulate her into saying yes.

With my dad’s dementia, my sister and I defer to my mom because we both live out of state and my mom is my dad’s primary caregiver. If she needs our backup, we give it to her. I know all the Pearsons are dismissive of Miguel, and Randall justified it to himself as “he missed this for months,” but the bottom line is Miguel should be the one who has the final say. I bet none of the Big 3 ever even considered his opinion.



Agree wholeheartedly. Sterling is portraying a deeply flawed, multi-layered character extremely well, but boy is Randall a total jerk right now. I wonder if he even talked through any of it with Beth. I feel like Beth would tell him to step back from the situation and let his mother be in control of what she has left.

Hmmm... I don't think I'd agree that the final say should lie with Miguel...someone she married late in life, especially when she's so close to her kids. My mom has made it very clear that her 3 kids would be the ones to make those type of decisions even though she and my step-father have been married since I was 12. I'll also say I really wouldn't be comfortable with him having the final say (nothing against him, but she's our mom.)

On other hand I wouldn't find it as odd and assume that my step-mom probably would have the "final say" over my dads care. although I know she would consult all of us etc. - My mom was definitely the one who raised us fulltime though, so we're def. closer to my mom. I guess it just really depends on the relationships.

 

[brockash]

I wondered out loud last night if the flash forward of the cabin scene was in an alternate reality (likely Randall’s worst case scenario life). I wouldn’t put it past the writers

That was something that had crossed my mind last week as well (haven't had a chance to watch this weeks yet.) It seems far out there, but like you, I definitely wouldn't put it past the writers.

 

[Melissa55]

I would love some theories for how “strangers” will help tie up plot lines and set stage for new cliff hanger(s). Especially theories that go beyond Kevin’s pregnant fiancé.

I think Darnell and Malik are big wild cards. I can’t decide if I am leaning toward Malik adding to Randall’s anxiety and marking a breaking point, or Darnell somehow becoming Randall’s confidante or something. It mostly just seems like a lot of plot points to cover, and I don’t them as being significant cliff hanger material.

I think Darnell is a bit of a “road not taken” version of Randall. Their names are even almost all the same letters but like... if Randall had been raised by William, he would have grown up in the same community, probably had a very similar life path. Also he is a way for another black man to give Randall permission to get therapy, with William gone. Therapy is so stigmatized, especially for men, especially for black men. Also just Omar Epps is awesome. The House MD fan in me wishes that Darnell could somehow meet Cassidy.

 

[Melissa55]

Hmmm... I don't think I'd agree that the final say should lie with Miguel...someone she married late in life, especially when she's so close to her kids. My mom has made it very clear that her 3 kids would be the ones to make those type of decisions even though she and my step-father have been married since I was 12. I'll also say I really wouldn't be comfortable with him having the final say (nothing against him, but she's our mom.)

She married Miguel later in life but he’s known her for most of her adult life. It’s not like they met in their 60s, they met in their 20s.

 

[3threebabies]

I think Darnell is a bit of a “road not taken” version of Randall. Their names are even almost all the same letters but like... if Randall had been raised by William, he would have grown up in the same community, probably had a very similar life path. Also he is a way for another black man to give Randall permission to get therapy, with William gone. Therapy is so stigmatized, especially for men, especially for black men. Also just Omar Epps is awesome. The House MD fan in me wishes that Darnell could somehow meet Cassidy.

This 100%! You expressed what I was thinking and so much better.

 

[BMB777]

Everyone needed to agree on Rebecca's treatment plan unless/until it wasn't what Randal wanted? BTW..why hasn't Miguel been consulted regarding his wife's medical decisions?

Shame on Randal for manipulating his mother in her condition.

Why would they consult Miguel? Miguel is living with Rebecca and didn't even recognize there was a problem. That's pathetic.

 

[PollyannaMom]

No I think he was at least a month old or more when he was left. I think that’s correct.

Thanks. I didn’t remember if there was a specific reference to infant Randall’s age.

In the very first episode, pretty sure Rebecca referred to Randall as three days old, the same age as the twins. He was supposedly born on the same day, seeing as all 3 celebrate their birthday on the same day.

I've been binge-watching old episodes, and I’m currently in the one about Beth & Randall's history (in season 3). On their first date, he tells her “I was dropped off at a fire station the day I was born.” I always just assumed his mother died in childbirth.

 

[Melissa55]

Why would they consult Miguel? Miguel is living with Rebecca and didn't even recognize there was a problem. That's pathetic.

It’s not that he didn’t notice anything, he just didn’t think it was as serious as it was or didn’t want to admit it. When we see the clips curated by the show, it’s so easy for us to see. But if this was a reality show and you watched their daily life in real time, you probably wouldn’t notice.

People forget where they left their phones all the time. My parents have been together for over 40 years and my mom had a very hard time admitting that my dad has dementia. He’s forgetful! He’s always been a bit scatterbrained! It took my sister and I pointing out things because we live out of state from our parents and each other so there are big gaps between when we see them and his deterioration was much more noticeable to us.

Does that mean my mother, who has spent 2/3 of her life caring for my father in every capacity is pathetic and shouldn’t have a say? I certainly don’t think so. Miguel is like a footnote to the Pearsons even though he has been supporting them for much longer than the length of his marriage to Rebecca. He gave Jack help and support to get sober, he saved Jack’s butt when he almost got fired, he constantly helped Rebecca after Jack’s death. I don’t think he’s pathetic at all, and I hated Jon Huertas’s character Brad the Witch Hunter on Sabrina the Teenage Witch. But Miguel has really changed my opinion. He deserves a lot more respect than the Big 3 give him.

 

[mnrose]

And, I'm not sure this is such a "short term" marriage to Miguel. Rebecca is now supposed to be in her late 60's if not 70's. She was at best in her 40's when Jack died, and we don't know (yet) how long after his death she married Miguel. So, at this point, it is likely that she has been married to Miguel as long as she was married to Jack. I think he's entitled to a say. And, I also agree that people who live closely with someone don't see the subtle changes as clearly as someone more distant. Think about weight loss. If you live with someone, and they are losing a pound every couple of weeks, you don't really see it. But, come back 4 months later and it is REALLY obvious. Same with mental health changes.

 

[Melissa55]

And, I'm not sure this is such a "short term" marriage to Miguel. Rebecca is now supposed to be in her late 60's if not 70's. She was at best in her 40's when Jack died, and we don't know (yet) how long after his death she married Miguel. So, at this point, it is likely that she has been married to Miguel as long as she was married to Jack. I think he's entitled to a say.

Rebecca and Miguel reconnected on Facebook after Tess was born, so they’ve been married for under 20 years as Tess is in high school. But as I said earlier, he has known her most of her adult life and I think that definitely counts for something.

 

[3threebabies]

I've been binge-watching old episodes, and I’m currently in the one about Beth & Randall's history (in season 3). On their first date, he tells her “I was dropped off at a fire station the day I was born.” I always just assumed his mother died in childbirth.

I had assumed as well, but last night made me question my judgement to do so. Big 3 with exact same birthdays for me!

So, that could mean the manifestation of Randall’s “what if’s“ show that he is struggling to differentiate what is real from what he believes/wishes/remembers to be true. His anxiety has ramped up to such a degree, that maybe he is creating problems and solutions that don’t exist In the real world. He has finally spiraled out of control of his life and mental state. Lack of control is Randall kryptonite. Manipulating his mother into the trial creates 2 areas he can control—at least in his mind. 1-his relationship with his mother and siblings. He always wants relationships on his terms. 2-his mother’s health. He can‘t control Rebecca’s destiny or “death date” (shout out to Manifest fans!). If he forces her into trial, he can tell himself he did all could do to attempt some personal resolution.

Somebody after Thanksgiving episode said maybe Randall was calling from inpatient mental health facility. I didn’t consider it a viable option at the time, but the winter episodes have added details to support that theory.

TLDR. I am trying to loose myself in a little fantasy these days, so please feel free to ignore my posts with blathering stream of consciousness drivel.

 

[kimblebee]

It’s not that he didn’t notice anything, he just didn’t think it was as serious as it was or didn’t want to admit it. When we see the clips curated by the show, it’s so easy for us to see. But if this was a reality show and you watched their daily life in real time, you probably wouldn’t notice.

People forget where they left their phones all the time. My parents have been together for over 40 years and my mom had a very hard time admitting that my dad has dementia. He’s forgetful! He’s always been a bit scatterbrained! It took my sister and I pointing out things because we live out of state from our parents and each other so there are big gaps between when we see them and his deterioration was much more noticeable to us.

Does that mean my mother, who has spent 2/3 of her life caring for my father in every capacity is pathetic and shouldn’t have a say? I certainly don’t think so. Miguel is like a footnote to the Pearsons even though he has been supporting them for much longer than the length of his marriage to Rebecca. He gave Jack help and support to get sober, he saved Jack’s butt when he almost got fired, he constantly helped Rebecca after Jack’s death. I don’t think he’s pathetic at all, and I hated Jon Huertas’s character Brad the Witch Hunter on Sabrina the Teenage Witch. But Miguel has really changed my opinion. He deserves a lot more respect than the Big 3 give him.

Plus, a poster up thread said that there have been subtle memory clues in a few episodes. I don’t remember for certain, but I’m pretty sure we didn’t have discussions on whether or not Rebecca could have dementia. It was just a little, not worth thinking about thing.

 

[TLSnell1981]

(shout out to Manifest fans!).

 

[brockash]

She married Miguel later in life but he’s known her for most of her adult life. It’s not like they met in their 60s, they met in their 20s.

Yeah, but again he was not an important part of the "family" for her and the kids really until Jack died and by then the kids were teens. I just think as close as Rebecca and the kids are; they're bond is different and probably feel they would have the most say.

 

[brockash]

And, I'm not sure this is such a "short term" marriage to Miguel. Rebecca is now supposed to be in her late 60's if not 70's. She was at best in her 40's when Jack died, and we don't know (yet) how long after his death she married Miguel. So, at this point, it is likely that she has been married to Miguel as long as she was married to Jack. I think he's entitled to a say. And, I also agree that people who live closely with someone don't see the subtle changes as clearly as someone more distant. Think about weight loss. If you live with someone, and they are losing a pound every couple of weeks, you don't really see it. But, come back 4 months later and it is REALLY obvious. Same with mental health changes.

I totally agree he should get a say, but the pp indicated he should get final say, which I don't think any of them, even Miguel would think would be accurate. Like I said I think it just depends on the relationships. For me I know my sisters and I would have the final say for my mom even though she and my step-dad have been married for close to 30 years now. On the other hand I'm sure my step-mom would have final say with my dad and they've basically been married the same amount of time, but all of the relationships are different.

 

[BMB777]

Even if Miguel got a say, his say would go below that of the Big 3. Does anyone think Rebecca would side with Miguel over her kids? Has that ever happened? Miguel has always taken a back seat.

 

[Melissa55]

Even if Miguel got a say, his say would go below that of the Big 3. Does anyone think Rebecca would side with Miguel over her kids? Has that ever happened? Miguel has always taken a back seat.

I don’t think Rebecca would side with her kids over Miguel, no. I think she should, but I don’t think she would.

However since her kids disagree, presumably he would side with either Randall or Kate and Kevin. Since her children are at odds and cannot agree, I think Miguel should have the final say, if for no other reason than so they can all just blame and hate him, varying degrees of which they already do. Then it doesn’t have to tear the siblings apart.

 

[BMB777]

I don’t think Rebecca would side with her kids over Miguel, no. I think she should, but I don’t think she would.

However since her kids disagree, presumably he would side with either Randall or Kate and Kevin. Since her children are at odds and cannot agree, I think Miguel should have the final say, if for no other reason than so they can all just blame and hate him, varying degrees of which they already do. Then it doesn’t have to tear the siblings apart.

We must be watching different characters. The "kids" always come first to Rebecca.

Miguel is liked by the kids but is still sort of seen as an outsider. Which is why you see Miguel avoiding confrontation at all cost because he knows his place.

 

[TLSnell1981]

This is why EVERYONE need a Medical Power of Attorney.

 

[BMB777]

This is why EVERYONE need a Medical Power of Attorney.

This wouldn't apply to Rebecca's current situation though as she is capable of making and communicating medical treatment decisions.