Frank talk coming. I have no desire to move.
I plan to move for one reason and one reason only - to make life easier for my kids if/when I need help or supervision. I want to be set up so they it will take minimal effort on their parts to take charge if needed. I've spent the last five years commuting between two states to take care of my parents and my husband's parents (who fortunately lived in the same town my parents did, so that helped.) I literally had to quit my full time job and only do per diem work I could fit in, give up the idea of vacationing, etc. since even after I quit work, all of DH's vacation time has been spent on our parents. DH's parents did not have dementia, but his dad left behind property his mom couldn't manage and she had multiple serious medical issues and no money for a paid caregiver. All of our parents needed A LOT of help. Having two parents with dementia, odds are high I will have the same. While I will live in leveled care so they don't have to do daily care, there is still the need for an advocate. My parents had/have money so their day to day care has been taken care of, but there is still A LOT! Making sure they get appropriate care, moving them multiple times for different levels of care, sorting through all their belongings and prepping their home for sale, taking care of all their finances, ( for example, I just finished their taxes.)
My dad passed recently as did DH's remaining parent and now mom is living a few miles from us. Life is SOOOOOO much easier. I can stop by easily to visit, no more constant drives - and our time off can be used for our own stuff. If I had a child who lived locally, that'd be great, but they don't. No parent WANTS their children to have to help them, but it often becomes the default if help becomes necessary. So I'm going to do my best to organize and downsize my stuff and be in a position to be as self sufficient as possible while close enough to at least one of them so they don't have to drop everything and travel for every emergency. They can be comfy in their own homes and pop in and check on me occasionally and use their vacation time to take trips, etc. (Hopefully we'll stay in good shape and we'll be able to help them as well - with grandchildren, pet sitting, etc. and it will be a win/win. I would have LOVED having my parents closer when my kids were still at home and the transitions they eventually had to make would have been so much easier for me to help with. If my parents had moved in their mid 70's they would have really been able to settle into the community and enjoy the grandkids etc. before their health issues took over.)
I figure I'll move near the one most settled and if they move, they can help me pack up and ship me to where the other one is for their turn at having the parents nearby.
My parents used to tease me that, as the youngest, I couldn't leave home and had to stay to take care of them. They teased because it was the LAST thing they wanted for me. They had grown up and moved wherever they wanted and they wanted me to do the same. However, the fact that they stayed put and refused to leave their small town sort of doomed me to what they NEVER would have wanted for me. I'm going to be more proactive.