3 Year old developmental concerns. Please Advise

[TheExProphet]

I don't know where else to post this but I'm pretty desperate. I'm a single father and figured this forum would be full of parents with young ones that could guide me.

I have concerns about my 3 year old son. He just turned 3. He has only recently started combining two worded phrases/sentences. His only diagnosis is "expressive language delay". He attends daycare 5x a week. He receives speech 3x a week. He has been seen by a DP and he ruled out ASD. But the whole visit was via zoom, and he saw my son for maybe 10 minutes. Most of the visit was parent in-take and reviewing notes from his SLP and daycare provider. My son now has an IEP for speech. He will start 3-K in the Fall.

Stats1)
At 18 months scored a 1 on the MCHAT
2) At 24 months scored a 0
3) Index finger pointed at 11-12 months/Never hand-led
4) Wave, clapped, fist pumped all at around 14 months
5) Showed us things, and brought us things at around 13-14 months (still does this)
6) Joint attention and name response have always been strong
7) Very connected to people and her environment, loves sharing her curiosity
8) Very good eater, sleeps well
9) Appropriate play skills albeit prefers pretend toys (like kitchen or doctor sets) does not seem interested in cars at all…someone mentioned that being odd once.
10) All milestones were on time, with the exception of speech, babbled a month late
11) Has always been delayed in speech but receptive first emerged at around 11 months and continued to blossom. He understands almost everything in both English and Spanish

Concerns
1) His talking consists mostly of two worded phrases/statements that revolve around him asking for things or claiming things e.g “my toy” “my doll” “mama I want a cookie”
2) He still jargons 95% of the time, with the occasional word thrown into her sentence or some 2 worded phrase e.g “daddy baba jadom….my…aha…toy!” the other 5% of hir speech are clear words or clear two worded phrases
3) Toe-walking seems to increase when he’s barefooted. Still hasn’t tapered off. By now I would have thought he’d walk completely flat
4) Chews on soft things (like his sleeves) but not on hard surfaces/toys, just one things with soft corners. I believe it soothes him like sucking his thumb used to soothe him.
5) Sometimes runs and forth, tapping the same area as if he were playing tag. This happens maybe once a week? For a solid 3-minutes more or less. Same with him walking in circles. Very sporadic and random. But combined with my other concerns, perhaps it’s all relevant.
6) Was biting kids at school, seems to have tapered off. School says he’s very social, and he has great joint attention, but can be quite hyperactive.

 

[lanejudy]

It sounds like he has developed appropriately since your last post -- considering children this age will develop at somewhat their own pace. I think it's great you are concerned and paying attention, but maybe looking too "deeply" to find a problem. I say this with all respect, but every kid has some "quirks" or doesn't quite hit a milestone as expected, but in and of itself that isn't necessarily a concern. Keep in regular contact with his pediatrician as well as the school.

Is there another parent in the picture, possibly the child lives part of the time in another home? If you share custody, it will be important to communicate together with regards to the child's needs and ask what the other household observes as well. Did you copy/paste bits of this list to put together here? Sometimes you refer to "her" and sometimes "he/his."

 

[DisneyOma]

Nothing wrong with not having an interest in cars. It's not odd at all. Running in circles, touching the same place - my oldest did that; it's to burn off energy. Speech delay is getting addressed, and trying to figure out two languages may have slowed down the speaking part. I know 3 1/2 yr olds who only use 2 word sentences most of the time.

 

[Mirabell Rose]

I have found that for a lot of parents, it’s really hard to deal with developmental concerns in this day and age. You often hear ASD along with language delays. However, remember that language delays are the most commonly identified developmental issue, and many of those children do not have anything further. And speech delays often can be ‘caught up’ with appropriate SLP services. You note yourself that your child has very good joint attention, but you still seem to question the ASD issue. Given the increase in ASD diagnosis, you are in line with many young parents in wondering could my child be affected?

So anytime there is a delay, we want what is best for our children. and we hear over and over that early intervention is very important. My advice is to take a deep breath and remind yourself that you have done exactly what is recommended when a delay is discovered, you have already started early intervention services. You have had your child receive SLP and you have gotten your child evaluated to start 3 year old school services. That’s wonderful. Way to go! Now remind yourself that dealing with a developmental delay can be a years long process versus an overnight cure, but one that can have amazing outcomes. And you now have an array of educational professionals to help you with this process. I have a now adult child who had, and still has some significant developmental issues as an individual with a ASD. But she has made amazing progress. And overall it was wonderful the help and support we received from the school. These professionals will have a lot of time to observe your child versus a 10 minute zoom. And if they see signs that your child should have further evaluation be a DP or other physicians, they will share that with you. So take advantage of any opportunity you have to discuss your concerns with them.

Worrying is something all parents do. Remember though, you only have a set amount of energy in a day, and especially as a single parent you need as much as that energy as possible to care for and interact with your child. Worry and anxiety sucks up energy. Remind yourself you are doing good, you are receiving services, and now your job is to have the best time possible with your child every day. You know no matter what comes down the road to deal with as a parent that you will always love your child more than you could ever have imagined. In the end no diagnosis changes that.

And, as an older parent, I will tell you that you will be sitting at your child’s high school graduation some day just wondering where all the time went. Make the best of it, and try not to worry.