"Best friend" advice

[disneyaddict101]

I guess I'm just coming here for some different opinions than my own with this situation. My friend and I have been friends for 3 years. We met in freshmen art class and things were great then. We hung out all the time, like any other teenage girls do. Then once she became a sophomore things began to change. She started joking around about my looks in a girl friendy way , i always know shes kidding. The second I do it back (which has been VERY rarely and by saying nahhh you look horrribbleeee in a sarcastic way after her asking if she looked fine) she will storm off. Litterally. Middle of the mall just walk away. I also have a DBF who i have been dating for ten months. A while ago she was doing my hair and pulled hard while i was on the phone with him figuring out what time to come get me. Naturally i said ow and she flipped out for "making her seem bad" around my DBF. She has started dating (many) guys at once and come crying for me to clean up the pieces when they break up or cheat. What do you expect when your cheating on them? She also tries to break guys up. But the second I need her, wether its a rare fight with DBF or my mom, or even upset about my dad who passed. The most she will say is im sorry then switch to talking about herself. She lies to me a lot which im told its because shes jealous of my bf and that my grandparents gave me my old car. Which i understand but that shouldnt make her lie to me. Most recently she told me i see my DBF too much (i see him on tuesdays and only tuesday due to his strict parents), i talk about him too much(which i hardly do because she only texts me when something is wrong). It just hit me in the heart. While she has done all that stuff she never brought someone who meant that much to me in it. I stopped talking just so i wouldn't freak out on her. The week before i was on vacation and she texted me once. Not saying hi or anything, just "Guess what my bf just did". I decided im on vacation. Im not going to deal with her drama, and didnt reply til i got back which was when she talked to me about my bf. i stopped talking to her after that. Id get texts from her saying sorry. Then eventually i got a text saying "ive said sorry. The least you could do is forgive me". That was it for me. To me that just seemed like she was really sincere. A few days i texted her saying sorry for not replying but it was all too much. And i need some time to think our friendship through. I know i have to text her eventually and tell her what im deciding because its not fair to her. I just dont know if i want that image around me. I dont want to have to only deal with her drama, i dont want to be treated how she treated me, etc. opinions? I know there are two sides to every story but... Ive dealt with this for far too long and not sure if its time to move on.

 

[disneyaddict101]

Also, i meant wasnt sincere haha, autocorrect is no fun so sorry if it messed anyone up!

 

[skatalite]

We accept the love we think we deserve.

This goes for friends, too.

You seem to have figured out the correct answer already. Give one another a break for a bit.

 

[Uncle Remus]

I got halfway thru your story, if that's what you call your friend you're going to be overjoyed with a real friend, find one.

 

[smitch425]

I guess I'm just coming here for some different opinions than my own with this situation. My friend and I have been friends for 3 years. We met in freshmen art class and things were great then. We hung out all the time, like any other teenage girls do. Then once she became a sophomore things began to change. She started joking around about my looks in a girl friendy way , i always know shes kidding. The second I do it back (which has been VERY rarely and by saying nahhh you look horrribbleeee in a sarcastic way after her asking if she looked fine) she will storm off. Litterally. Middle of the mall just walk away. I also have a DBF who i have been dating for ten months. A while ago she was doing my hair and pulled hard while i was on the phone with him figuring out what time to come get me. Naturally i said ow and she flipped out for "making her seem bad" around my DBF. She has started dating (many) guys at once and come crying for me to clean up the pieces when they break up or cheat. What do you expect when your cheating on them? She also tries to break guys up. But the second I need her, wether its a rare fight with DBF or my mom, or even upset about my dad who passed. The most she will say is im sorry then switch to talking about herself. She lies to me a lot which im told its because shes jealous of my bf and that my grandparents gave me my old car. Which i understand but that shouldnt make her lie to me. Most recently she told me i see my DBF too much (i see him on tuesdays and only tuesday due to his strict parents), i talk about him too much(which i hardly do because she only texts me when something is wrong). It just hit me in the heart. While she has done all that stuff she never brought someone who meant that much to me in it. I stopped talking just so i wouldn't freak out on her. The week before i was on vacation and she texted me once. Not saying hi or anything, just "Guess what my bf just did". I decided im on vacation. Im not going to deal with her drama, and didnt reply til i got back which was when she talked to me about my bf. i stopped talking to her after that. Id get texts from her saying sorry. Then eventually i got a text saying "ive said sorry. The least you could do is forgive me". That was it for me. To me that just seemed like she was really sincere. A few days i texted her saying sorry for not replying but it was all too much. And i need some time to think our friendship through. I know i have to text her eventually and tell her what im deciding because its not fair to her. I just dont know if i want that image around me. I dont want to have to only deal with her drama, i dont want to be treated how she treated me, etc. opinions? I know there are two sides to every story but... Ive dealt with this for far too long and not sure if its time to move on.

Move on. That is not how a friend should behave. I recently lost a "friend" myself. She was talking about my daughter and me behind our backs, but her daughter went to school one day and told DD everything she said in front of a bunch of kids. I just happened to be in the building when it all went down, and it wasn't pretty. Haven't spoken to her since right after it all went down (before Thanksgiving), and I am much happier without her in my life. You deserve better people in your life.

 

[Sgt Mickey]

Move on. Insecureness makes girls act crazy. Not sure why she acting that way but that is what is sounds like is insecurity or immaturity what ever it may be just move on.

 

[Chikabowa]

A few weeks ago I made a self depreciating remark about my weight in a joke kinda way. One of my girlfriends looked at me all serious and said, "I will never laugh at a joke like that. You are my friend and I find you beautiful on the inside and the out. I love you no matter what and I refuse to allow you to continue to believe that you are anything but beautiful."

That's a real girlfriend.

Friends should always lift you up and make your life and load better. They support you when need them the most, they are honest (but not snide or hurtful), and they truly love you in a special way.

If someone leaves you feeling horrible about yourself, questioning your placement in life, or leaves you when you need them most, they aren't a friend.

Surround yourself with people who uplift you. Life is too short to mess around with dead weight that brings you down.

 

[crayon3448]

A few weeks ago I made a self depreciating remark about my weight in a joke kinda way. One of my girlfriends looked at me all serious and said, "I will never laugh at a joke like that. You are my friend and I find you beautiful on the inside and the out. I love you no matter what and I refuse to allow you to continue to believe that you are anything but beautiful."

That's a real girlfriend.

Friends should always lift you up and make your life and load better. They support you when need them the most, they are honest (but not snide or hurtful), and they truly love you in a special way.

If someone leaves you feeling horrible about yourself, questioning your placement in life, or leaves you when you need them most, they aren't a friend.

Surround yourself with people who uplift you. Life is too short to mess around with dead weight that brings you down.

You are so lucky to have such a great friend. This is the same thing I would say to the OP.

 

[disneyaddict101]

A few weeks ago I made a self depreciating remark about my weight in a joke kinda way. One of my girlfriends looked at me all serious and said, "I will never laugh at a joke like that. You are my friend and I find you beautiful on the inside and the out. I love you no matter what and I refuse to allow you to continue to believe that you are anything but beautiful."

That's a real girlfriend.

Friends should always lift you up and make your life and load better. They support you when need them the most, they are honest (but not snide or hurtful), and they truly love you in a special way.

If someone leaves you feeling horrible about yourself, questioning your placement in life, or leaves you when you need them most, they aren't a friend.

Surround yourself with people who uplift you. Life is too short to mess around with dead weight that brings you down.

I was reading through before i head off to work. I was going to wait until i got home to reply to anything but i just loved this reply. This really made see what i do need in my life and that i do have this. And though we used to be good friends, its just not that way anymore. All the other replies really helped too, letting me know I'm not crazy and not the only one who thought it was wrong. Thanks a bunch, her and i def need a break. Thanks for making me REALLY see that

 

[NoSoup4U]

I got halfway thru your story, if that's what you call your friend you're going to be overjoyed with a real friend, find one.

Move on. Insecureness makes girls act crazy. Not sure why she acting that way but that is what is sounds like is insecurity or immaturity what ever it may be just move on.

OP, your "best friend" sounds VERY immature and insecure. You already know what you need to do. Sorry but that doesnt sound like a best friend to me. Move on.

 

[Kogo Shuko]

I know it's hard to give up on a friendship, but from what I've read, you really do need to move on.

Whether she knows she's being a bad friend or not, she really is completely disrespecting you.

You don't need to remove her from your life compeltely, per se, but definitely let go.

I have a friend who acts like I simply don't exist unless she's talking to me or I'm in her presence, and she's always late (and by late, I mean an hour or more), whether it's for supper or going out somewhere.

I've let her go. I don't talk to her on a regular basis, and only see her every now and then (think once a month of less). She's not completely out of my life, as like your friend, she was once a good friend, but do I trust her? No. Not at all.

But definitely remove the negativity. I'd suggest bringing her rude behaviours to her attention, but unless it's done extremely carefully, that could end in tears and more frustration.

 

[JRawkSteady]

Sigh...it's sad to lose a best friend, but sometimes it's necessary to move on. It always ends this way...where one knows the other is holding them back. There's a slight nagging, questioning whether it's the right decision or not, but deep down, you know it is. That's why you're looking for advice.

My best friend all throughout high school was one of those guys who everyone was friends with. I was kinda like his sidekick. The collateral that was expected to just be at all his parties and such. He had this way of making you think he was always looking out for you, when in fact, he was just setting you up for failure. One day, I realized this... And fast...

I got yelled at for hanging out with our friends when he wasn't there. The fact that they didn't invite him, infuriated him so much that he told me, "I would have no friends if it wasn't for me!".... That's when I realized that the reason I was just his "sidekick" that whole time, was because he always latched on everytime I was invited to go out and such. Friends would invite me, and he would always find out and join as well... A fool, I was.... Anyway, I stopped talking to him after getting yelled at, and I still had all my friends. I have no regrets.

The point is, I think it's time you shed away this "best friend." There are many many other people out there who will respect you in every way. Just because you have great memories together does not mean you have to put up with the fact that you grew up and she didn't.

GOOD LUCK!!!

 

[Mickey'sMainMami]

Throughout life, people will come and go, some should be forced to go in my opinion. This sounds like one of those people. She does not sound like a real friend, and I wouldn't waste another moment on her or her drama. Real friends are people who are there for you through thick and thin, and bring out the best in you. They are the ones who will make you feel like a million bucks no matter what is going on, keep those around and treat them the same way. Kick this one to the curb.

 

[worm761]

Not everyone who comes into your life is meant to stay in it forever. Sometimes they come just to teach you a lesson. In this instance, she has taught you how you don't wish to be treated. Everyone needs one bad friend in life so they know a real one when they find them.

 

[LilMrsSunshine]

I think it is time to find a new friend. I had to let go of my best friend of 10 years. We were in each others weddings and at the hospital when each of us had our first babies. It wasn't until I had a series of unfortunate events (DH lost his job, I had surgery, etc..) that I found out how selfish she really was. The best part is I was blessed with 3 wonderful people who are now my "besties". I didn't realize how stressful and toxic my friendship was with the other girl until I was given the chance to see what a real friendship was like. You will seem lonely for awhile, but hang in there for better things!

 

[TheAviator]

Sounds like you need a new best friend. This is why its best to spread best friends out over 3 or 4 people, if possible. But this girl sounds VERY immature, very selfish, very spoiled, and very egocentric, everything is about her, me me me, ok after we're done talking about me, lets talk about me now. I'm glad I don't have any friends that bad.........or

 

[hereyago]

Sounds like your frenemie may be starting to have a personality order. Time to move on. She sounds like she is sucking the joy out of you.

 

[kate_wdw]

Run, don't walk, to the nearest exit.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Move on....
Grow up...
Find better friends!

 

[ceemys]

A few weeks ago I made a self depreciating remark about my weight in a joke kinda way. One of my girlfriends looked at me all serious and said, "I will never laugh at a joke like that. You are my friend and I find you beautiful on the inside and the out. I love you no matter what and I refuse to allow you to continue to believe that you are anything but beautiful."

That's a real girlfriend.

Friends should always lift you up and make your life and load better. They support you when need them the most, they are honest (but not snide or hurtful), and they truly love you in a special way.

If someone leaves you feeling horrible about yourself, questioning your placement in life, or leaves you when you need them most, they aren't a friend.

Surround yourself with people who uplift you. Life is too short to mess around with dead weight that brings you down.

Aww. so sweet. What a great friend.