Brandonius
Disneyland is fun.
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2021
This is a long post. But I think many of my fellow Disneyland enthusiasts may find this interesting.
I had the opportunity to go on a short trip through Europe’s theme parks over Thanksgiving after visiting some family in Paris. I did Disneyland Paris for a day (it was a fantastic trip btw, I’ll be writing a report about it soon), but there were a couple other stops I had to make, which would turn out to be incredible.
I’d heard rumors of a fantastical theme park in Germany called Phantasialand. I knew they had a cool coaster in lots of rockwork called Taron that was universally agreed to be very good, a collection of other pretty good coasters, and next-level theming. This park was one of the highest on my bucket list of any… rivaled only by other world-class parks (or parks home to world class rides) like Tokyo DisneySea, Fuji Q Highland, Islands of Adventure, Cedar Point, and Europa Park.
My verdict after spending 2 days there? This is the greatest theme park on earth all around, bar none. I have trouble imagining how any of the other incredible theme parks around the world will speak to me more than this one. It is practically perfect in every way. Let me highlight 2 ways this especially stood out to me as compared with my previous favorite, Disneyland, and 3 reasons at the end why I think it will always be my favorite park in the world.
The theming is unreal. It has a distinctly different feel to Disney theming. Disney is really good at creating “Instagram moments” - specific moments in the theming or ride that makes you go “wow”. While on my trip at Euro Disney, this struck me really hard in line for Rattitoullie. The theming outside is cute but not mind blowing. Most of the queue is switchbacks or hallways inside. But there are a couple of moments - one in line, one before you board - that make you just go “wow, this is really cool!”. They are great photo opportunities too.
This “Instagram theming” happens a lot America too - think of the queue for Flight of Passage, or the reveal of the Millennium Falcon, to name a couple. Even the structure of Rise of the Resistance - it’s a ride that really only has one or two really impressive set pieces at any one time, with everything else being pretty bland theme wise. Makes it SUPER awesome to take pictures of or describe or market, but it loses depth after several rides. (I’ve ridden Rise 6 times now, and the luster has worn off a lot)
Further, Disney’s rides aren’t very thrilling. (At least for me - a pretty hardcore coaster enthusiast) And if they are thrilling, they aren’t very good thrill rides. Almost all the roller coasters at Disneyland Paris are all fluff and there’s no good ride underneath - space mountain is trash, flight force is trash, crush’s coaster is pretty meh, and Indiana Jones would even be a bad ride at my local six flags. Thunder Mountain is fantastic though. At the US Disney Parks, they have some solidly themed rides (EG Everest), and Space Mountain at DLR is a great ride, but they don’t even do an especially good job mixing their coasters in with theme outside of Thunder Mountain.
Now let me explain what Phantasialand does differently. First, their theming is immaculate. It is 360-degree immersion in a world that is intimately detailed and close to you. The music, the rides, the landscaping, rockwork, food, it all plays into the immersion in each fantastical world. But here’s the weird part - it’s really hard to describe or take pictures of. Because everything is so intimate - the pathways are winding and tiny, everything encircles you, the park is almost literally 3 stories deep because it has such a small footprint - you’re always going up stairs and down stairs criss crossing over and under other stuff - it’s very difficult to encapsulate the feeling of being there.
Further, Phantasialand’s theming isn’t based on any intellectual property. It is just a well crafted world that stands on its own. Think about Galaxy’s edge for a second. If the land was not based on Star wars, I would really not be very interested in the land. It’s very lifeless - not much music or soundscape, no kinetic energy or things to look at - but because I love Star Wars, I love the land. Phantasialand’s theme has to stand on its own - it doesn’t get propped up by anything else. And my word it works SO WELL.
The other thing Phantasialand’s theming does that Disneyland has lost in the last 30 years is kinetic energy - every land (except China I guess) has a hallmark attraction that is always moving. Rookburgh - their incredible steampunk future land - is a tangled mess of F.L.Y. - their masterpiece of a flying roller coaster. But everything is so tangled and surrounding you that you really can’t take a good picture of it, or even explain what’s happening when you stand in the middle of it. But it’s gorgeous and full of energy. Standing in the middle of the land and watching the ride zoom overhead fills you with joy - I want to go ride that! I just want to enjoy being here! This is awesome! Standing in the middle of Klugheim and listening to Taron zoom down into that second launch and make that hilarious roaring noise literally still gives me goosebumps just thinking about it.
Disneyland USED to have this in spades in Tomorrowland. The only place you can really see it today is Pixar Pier. The parks overall feel pretty static. Instagram backgrounds. Don’t get me wrong - I adore the Disney parks. But Phantasialand has them on the theming. It’s intimate, detailed, and impossible to describe without being immersed.
Then the rides. Oh man, the rides. When it comes to dark rides and family rides, nobody does it better than Disney. I can’t deny that. But I’m not all about the family rides. I have a list of the most insane coasters around the world - rides that I hope will redefine the way I think about amusement rides. I went out of my way to experience one of those - Ride to Happiness at Plopsaland De Panne in Belgium - this trip. I care immensely about unique, thrilling experiences. But not just for the thrill - I love a quality, fun ride just as much.
Phantasialand delivers both at once.
The setting is there - an incredible theme, gorgeous soundtracks and scores for every land, and immaculate operations - an often overlooked component of the enjoyability of a park! Six Flags can get so tiresome because they dispatch their trains SO SLOWLY, whereas Disney parks or other top tier parks work as hard as they can to pump people through those rides.
The rides don’t disappoint. Out of the 88 coasters I’ve ridden, 3 of Phantasialand’s rides sit in my top 10. (Taron at #1, F.L.Y. at #3, and Black Mamba at #8) The rides are long, well themed, and provide an overall experience from the second you step into the queue line to the walk out of the exit, thrilling and fun, but are not so intense or crazy that they give any hint of sickness. They are rides that anyone from the Disney sphere of theme park fandom that are more daring could ride and not get sick on. They are incredibly well made coasters. Every ride at Phantasialand is best of its kind from around the world.
Taron - a stunning launch coaster that weaves in and out of rockwork.
F.L.Y. - Half dark ride, half steampunk joyride, half launched flying roller coaster, an unbelievable experience that is unmatched by any other flying coaster around the world. The technology of this ride is amazing, the experience is better.
Black Mamba - an Inverted Roller Coaster diving through canyons and trenches but isn’t so intense your feet feel like they’re going to be ripped off
Colorado Adventure - A western mine train that is almost better than Thunder Mountain! It’s certainly more thrilling, and goes full-on Space Mountain mode halfway through!
Winjas - A pair of indoor spinning coasters that have every gimmick in the book! An elevator lift that tilts you out of the elevator into a drop, a “trick track” that stops you, tilts you a different direction, then lets you go mid ride, and an actual bounce track that literally bounces down and back up while you are still in motion on it.
I could go on but you get the idea. Incredible coasters. They don’t have any top tier dark rides, but they don’t need it. They have plenty of strong enough dark rides, lots of other types of family coasters, and lots of shows and walkthrough experiences.
I could talk about all the insane hidden gems and gorgeous parts of this park for another several thousand words, but I won’t. One last thing that I think will resonate especially with my fellow Disneyland fans, and really is the main reason I chose to post this HERE instead of somewhere else.
The current “state of Phantasialand” feels remarkably similar to Disneyland. They were forced to stop selling all annual passes recently due to super high demand. The only way you can get in is through reservation-specific tickets. The atmosphere and quality of the park are things I had only experienced at Disneyland. They even have 3 highly themed hotels that are much like on property hotels at the DLR! (Except they are all… right next to the park. And have much more in-depth themes)
Here were the things I noticed about quality of life at this park that pushed it over Disneyland for me. I visited for 2 days - the first day was literally empty - we walked on to everything. The second day was one of the busiest in the last 365 based on thrill data - every single line was out the entrance of its respective ride, and walkways were packed. So I got both sides of the coin.
If you care at all about theme parks in any way, go to Phantasialand before you die. If you care at all about Disneyland right now, go to Phantasialand and see what the experience SHOULD be like so you don’t get gaslit into thinking the current status quo is normal. (which was happening to me!) If you’re not willing to make the trip all the way out there, just look at some pics and videos of the place. It’s not even close to being there in person, but it’s just such an incredible park that nobody seems to talk about.
Not really sure what the point of all that was except that DL has some serious work to do right now and there ARE places around the world that are doing it right. Any questions or thoughts lmk. I could gush about this place for hours. And I have.
I had the opportunity to go on a short trip through Europe’s theme parks over Thanksgiving after visiting some family in Paris. I did Disneyland Paris for a day (it was a fantastic trip btw, I’ll be writing a report about it soon), but there were a couple other stops I had to make, which would turn out to be incredible.
I’d heard rumors of a fantastical theme park in Germany called Phantasialand. I knew they had a cool coaster in lots of rockwork called Taron that was universally agreed to be very good, a collection of other pretty good coasters, and next-level theming. This park was one of the highest on my bucket list of any… rivaled only by other world-class parks (or parks home to world class rides) like Tokyo DisneySea, Fuji Q Highland, Islands of Adventure, Cedar Point, and Europa Park.
My verdict after spending 2 days there? This is the greatest theme park on earth all around, bar none. I have trouble imagining how any of the other incredible theme parks around the world will speak to me more than this one. It is practically perfect in every way. Let me highlight 2 ways this especially stood out to me as compared with my previous favorite, Disneyland, and 3 reasons at the end why I think it will always be my favorite park in the world.
The theming is unreal. It has a distinctly different feel to Disney theming. Disney is really good at creating “Instagram moments” - specific moments in the theming or ride that makes you go “wow”. While on my trip at Euro Disney, this struck me really hard in line for Rattitoullie. The theming outside is cute but not mind blowing. Most of the queue is switchbacks or hallways inside. But there are a couple of moments - one in line, one before you board - that make you just go “wow, this is really cool!”. They are great photo opportunities too.
This “Instagram theming” happens a lot America too - think of the queue for Flight of Passage, or the reveal of the Millennium Falcon, to name a couple. Even the structure of Rise of the Resistance - it’s a ride that really only has one or two really impressive set pieces at any one time, with everything else being pretty bland theme wise. Makes it SUPER awesome to take pictures of or describe or market, but it loses depth after several rides. (I’ve ridden Rise 6 times now, and the luster has worn off a lot)
Further, Disney’s rides aren’t very thrilling. (At least for me - a pretty hardcore coaster enthusiast) And if they are thrilling, they aren’t very good thrill rides. Almost all the roller coasters at Disneyland Paris are all fluff and there’s no good ride underneath - space mountain is trash, flight force is trash, crush’s coaster is pretty meh, and Indiana Jones would even be a bad ride at my local six flags. Thunder Mountain is fantastic though. At the US Disney Parks, they have some solidly themed rides (EG Everest), and Space Mountain at DLR is a great ride, but they don’t even do an especially good job mixing their coasters in with theme outside of Thunder Mountain.
Now let me explain what Phantasialand does differently. First, their theming is immaculate. It is 360-degree immersion in a world that is intimately detailed and close to you. The music, the rides, the landscaping, rockwork, food, it all plays into the immersion in each fantastical world. But here’s the weird part - it’s really hard to describe or take pictures of. Because everything is so intimate - the pathways are winding and tiny, everything encircles you, the park is almost literally 3 stories deep because it has such a small footprint - you’re always going up stairs and down stairs criss crossing over and under other stuff - it’s very difficult to encapsulate the feeling of being there.
Further, Phantasialand’s theming isn’t based on any intellectual property. It is just a well crafted world that stands on its own. Think about Galaxy’s edge for a second. If the land was not based on Star wars, I would really not be very interested in the land. It’s very lifeless - not much music or soundscape, no kinetic energy or things to look at - but because I love Star Wars, I love the land. Phantasialand’s theme has to stand on its own - it doesn’t get propped up by anything else. And my word it works SO WELL.
The other thing Phantasialand’s theming does that Disneyland has lost in the last 30 years is kinetic energy - every land (except China I guess) has a hallmark attraction that is always moving. Rookburgh - their incredible steampunk future land - is a tangled mess of F.L.Y. - their masterpiece of a flying roller coaster. But everything is so tangled and surrounding you that you really can’t take a good picture of it, or even explain what’s happening when you stand in the middle of it. But it’s gorgeous and full of energy. Standing in the middle of the land and watching the ride zoom overhead fills you with joy - I want to go ride that! I just want to enjoy being here! This is awesome! Standing in the middle of Klugheim and listening to Taron zoom down into that second launch and make that hilarious roaring noise literally still gives me goosebumps just thinking about it.
Disneyland USED to have this in spades in Tomorrowland. The only place you can really see it today is Pixar Pier. The parks overall feel pretty static. Instagram backgrounds. Don’t get me wrong - I adore the Disney parks. But Phantasialand has them on the theming. It’s intimate, detailed, and impossible to describe without being immersed.
Then the rides. Oh man, the rides. When it comes to dark rides and family rides, nobody does it better than Disney. I can’t deny that. But I’m not all about the family rides. I have a list of the most insane coasters around the world - rides that I hope will redefine the way I think about amusement rides. I went out of my way to experience one of those - Ride to Happiness at Plopsaland De Panne in Belgium - this trip. I care immensely about unique, thrilling experiences. But not just for the thrill - I love a quality, fun ride just as much.
Phantasialand delivers both at once.
The setting is there - an incredible theme, gorgeous soundtracks and scores for every land, and immaculate operations - an often overlooked component of the enjoyability of a park! Six Flags can get so tiresome because they dispatch their trains SO SLOWLY, whereas Disney parks or other top tier parks work as hard as they can to pump people through those rides.
The rides don’t disappoint. Out of the 88 coasters I’ve ridden, 3 of Phantasialand’s rides sit in my top 10. (Taron at #1, F.L.Y. at #3, and Black Mamba at #8) The rides are long, well themed, and provide an overall experience from the second you step into the queue line to the walk out of the exit, thrilling and fun, but are not so intense or crazy that they give any hint of sickness. They are rides that anyone from the Disney sphere of theme park fandom that are more daring could ride and not get sick on. They are incredibly well made coasters. Every ride at Phantasialand is best of its kind from around the world.
Taron - a stunning launch coaster that weaves in and out of rockwork.
F.L.Y. - Half dark ride, half steampunk joyride, half launched flying roller coaster, an unbelievable experience that is unmatched by any other flying coaster around the world. The technology of this ride is amazing, the experience is better.
Black Mamba - an Inverted Roller Coaster diving through canyons and trenches but isn’t so intense your feet feel like they’re going to be ripped off
Colorado Adventure - A western mine train that is almost better than Thunder Mountain! It’s certainly more thrilling, and goes full-on Space Mountain mode halfway through!
Winjas - A pair of indoor spinning coasters that have every gimmick in the book! An elevator lift that tilts you out of the elevator into a drop, a “trick track” that stops you, tilts you a different direction, then lets you go mid ride, and an actual bounce track that literally bounces down and back up while you are still in motion on it.
I could go on but you get the idea. Incredible coasters. They don’t have any top tier dark rides, but they don’t need it. They have plenty of strong enough dark rides, lots of other types of family coasters, and lots of shows and walkthrough experiences.
I could talk about all the insane hidden gems and gorgeous parts of this park for another several thousand words, but I won’t. One last thing that I think will resonate especially with my fellow Disneyland fans, and really is the main reason I chose to post this HERE instead of somewhere else.
The current “state of Phantasialand” feels remarkably similar to Disneyland. They were forced to stop selling all annual passes recently due to super high demand. The only way you can get in is through reservation-specific tickets. The atmosphere and quality of the park are things I had only experienced at Disneyland. They even have 3 highly themed hotels that are much like on property hotels at the DLR! (Except they are all… right next to the park. And have much more in-depth themes)
Here were the things I noticed about quality of life at this park that pushed it over Disneyland for me. I visited for 2 days - the first day was literally empty - we walked on to everything. The second day was one of the busiest in the last 365 based on thrill data - every single line was out the entrance of its respective ride, and walkways were packed. So I got both sides of the coin.
- No phones. Anywhere.
- They have a mobile app that shows wait times and a map, but most people were just using physical maps. And there are super helpful billboards at every major intersection in the parks that show wait times for every ride and where to go to get there.
- Nowhere has mobile order. At first I was skeptical of that because I like any good gen Z-er LOVE mobile order. But it worked! Every restaurant had one line - hop in line. Every single worker (and they have LOTS) are working to move people through that one line. I never waited more than 15 minutes for food, and I chose to get in line for churros right in the evening when the line was about as long as I could bear.
- No Genie+. They do have an individual Fastpass system, but you have to go talk to a real person (ew!) at a booth to pick them up for like $10 per person per skip. But do you need it? Well…
- Reliable Rides and Fast Operations
- Every ride went down for a bit during my trip. But they had staff there SO FAST and they were all back up and running within minutes. It was not long at all. They took such good care of their rides!
- Also they had immaculate operations on every ride. They were running 4 trains on Taron. 3 on FLY. For those of you that have only ever ridden Disney Coasters, that’s a huge deal! They were running rides with a modern lap bars and vest restraints and dispatching trains in less than 60 seconds consistently. In those 60 seconds people even had to put all their bags in the bins on the opposite side of the ride platform, which never happens at Disney! Everyone just keeps the bag on the ride with them. It was incredible. Every line moved so fast. I waited 80+ minutes for Taron multiple times and the speed that line moved at was awesome.
- We got a taste of this at Disneyland before Magic Keys came back and before Genie was back and I gotta say, I liked it a lot. VIP still existed, but the park and the system was just SO DARN EFFICIENT when all the workers had to do was move through that one line and all we had to worry about was guests was picking our next ride. No nickel and diming left and right, which brings me to my last differentiator…
- Park Pride
- How much does a ticket to get into this incredible place cost you ask? $45 USD. $55 on a super busy day. How much was the parking? $5 USD. How much was the food? Normal US fast food prices - $8-10 for a quality sandwich, burger, burrito, or whatever. They aren’t squeezing everything out of you - they are creating a quality experience and charging a reasonable price. No way that ever happens in America.
- The last thing that I appreciate…. This place legitimately puts the guest experience first. It’s such a charming park - every employee clearly loves working there. There is so much TLC put in. It just feels loved like Disneyland doesn’t right now.
If you care at all about theme parks in any way, go to Phantasialand before you die. If you care at all about Disneyland right now, go to Phantasialand and see what the experience SHOULD be like so you don’t get gaslit into thinking the current status quo is normal. (which was happening to me!) If you’re not willing to make the trip all the way out there, just look at some pics and videos of the place. It’s not even close to being there in person, but it’s just such an incredible park that nobody seems to talk about.
Not really sure what the point of all that was except that DL has some serious work to do right now and there ARE places around the world that are doing it right. Any questions or thoughts lmk. I could gush about this place for hours. And I have.
Not saying this german park is not an awesome place to go, but to me it sounds boring.
