Wendy31
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Mar 5, 2005
Thank you all so very much! You don't know how much it helps to ready your words of care and support.
DH was trying to text me, not very successfully early this morning and then ended up calling. He wanted to leave. Had tried to get up and get his clothes which set his bed alarm off. When the nurses went running he said it sounded like the police were after him. They said yes, the bed police. He wanted his clothes and said he'd just use the bathroom first. That tired him enough that he decided to go back to bed. They adjusted meds and got him comfortable and the anxiety / agitation under control. He was sleeping when I arrived. They took me in to let me know what they were seeing. I can see it too. His colour has changed - he's grey now. They believe we are in the final days. I had come to that conclusion also. The kids want to be there at the end, so I'm allowing it. Just need to get a better gauge when to bring them since both are sick. At some point it won't matter but I still feel like for another day or two it would. I hope they have the medication adjusted enough now that the kids won't see the agitation. He woke up and asked the nurse if he was dying earlier. I think he's really confused now.
We had just finished that conversation when DD texted that she thought she was going to be sick and could I pick her up from school. Which I did and am home for a minute after dropping her off. Spoke with dad who is making the calls, although he said several people have suggested a celebration of life rather than funeral. I need more info but kind of like the sound of that better. He'll let me know more detail later. I'm heading back now.
I am so, so sorry.
My father-in-law passed away after being w/ at-home hospice care for about 5 months or so. He passed away this past Saturday (4/7). We knew it was coming, & it was expected. However, it's still never easy. And, for DH & myself, this was a parent - not a spouse. I know losing a spouse would be so much more difficult.
The hospice care nurses were wonderful. About 2 weeks ago, they told us it wouldn't be much longer. At the end, they told us he had about 72 more hours. After he had passed, we added it up, &, from the time they told us 72 hours, it was 69 hours.
Anyway, we didn't have a "funeral" either, but a "Celebration of Life" service. Our youngest child is younger than your children, but, for whatever reason, knowing it was a "Celebration of Life" service for his Papa was easier for him to handle than it being a "funeral". We had visitation this past Monday (4/9), & the "Celebration of Life" service was the next day, Tuesday (4/10). On Monday evening after the visitation after our youngest child had already gone to bed, he got back out of bed & came to tell me that he didn't want to go to the "funeral" the next day. I knew both DH & his mother really wanted him to be there, so we talked a few minutes about what the service would be like. When I told him it wasn't a funeral but a "Celebration of Life" service, that made him feel so much better about the whole thing. (He also didn't want to see his Papa get buried, so I promised him he wouldn't have to.)
In his last few days, my father-in-law was on continuous morphine & was not aware of anything going on around him. However, my mother-in-law is very much a people person, & we had family & friends in & out of their house all last week - seeing all their family & friends was a comfort for my mother-in-law. She spent her time sitting beside my father-in-law's bedside & talking w/ family & friends while we (her sons & daughters-in-law) acted as hosts/hostesses & answered the phone & managed the household. I say all that to say... please don't neglect yourself & what will bring you comfort in the remaining time either.