Kid and cell phones

[Southernmiss]

We never had an issue with kids using their phones excessively or breaking our rules to where we needed to take up a phone.

And phones are used a lot in school during class to look up things and every teacher or coach has Remind 101 or other communication tools to communicate with kids.

My kids also use the calendar and other apps to keep track of activities and schedules. Now that DD is 16 and drives, I do not keep up with her schedules. She keeps all her own schedules. It has been quite liberating and odd to not keep multiple family members calendars. Each morning I ask her what activities she has so that I know about when to expect her home.

 

[Summer2018]

First, not looking for judgements or debates.

My DS is turning 10 in November. He keeps asking for a phone. I keep saying no. But I hear so many kids lately that have them. So it made me wonder...

When did your kids first get a cell phone or when are you planning to first get them one?

She got a simple flip phone at 12 when she was attending a summer camp and would be riding a school bus for the first time in the fall, and I needed to be able to communicate with her. In high school she got her first iPhone.

 

[powellrj]

My kids are all grown, but my oldest grandson got one for Christmas last year and he was 10. He has done well with it and is very dependable. His younger sister may have to wait until she is married. She isn’t very dependable. Her husband can pay the bill! (Not really, I am just kidding about the married part, not the dependable part)

 

[gotomu212]

My son got his a 9. That was the age here where he started doing activities outside the house that didn’t have definite end times and we wanted to be able to call back and forth. He’s now in 5th grade and I’d say at least half the grade has phones of some kind and the all have school issues iPads that they can text on.

 

[Saiahma]

DS 20 got a flip phone at 10. He walked home from school about 8 blocks and went to a neighbors til I got home. By 9th grade he needed a smartphone. Group chats and projects were all done this way. No more meeting in the library lol. Also teachers used various apps that made it necessary. He was also a 3 sport athlete and I needed to know when he was done with practice etc.

 

[Nettester]

My girls are 19 and 16 now, they both got cell phones at age 13. Both were really wanting a smart phone in the worst way when they were 11-12, but we made them wait. Interestingly, my in-laws got my youngest a cheap track phone a few months before we got her an iPhone before her birthday because they insisted it was necessary she could reach us at all times. We didn't agree. And they phone they got her barely worked. She rarely used it. My opinion, still is that cell phones for kids and teens are simply a convenience, and not a necessity. I grew up just fine working, in plenty of activities, and driving as a teen, without one. I wasn't any less safe. This summer my youngest had some personal struggles, and we had to take her phone away for nearly the whole summer. She survived just fine, using our landline occasionally, and borrowing my phone a few times when needed. She actually re-discovered reading, slept the best she has in years, and became more pleasant overall at home without the phone. I kinda long for the days before cell phones

 

[MrsCobraBubbles]

My daughter got her phone when she was 6. But for me, it's a safety thing. Although my work schedule closely follows her school schedule, she used to get home 5-10 minutes before me. Her brother was responsible for picking her up from the bus stop, but he could be unreliable sometimes. With her cell phone, she could call me if her brother forgot to pick her up--she has her own house key though, it's not like she was locked out of the house or anything, I just felt that 6 was too young to be a latchkey kid. She is not allowed to give out the number, except to certain family members. She has family members' numbers programmed into the phone and she knows that she is only allowed to accept phone calls or reply to texts from those family members.

My son was about 9 when he got his first phone, it was a prepaid phone that I only loaded minutes on in the summer. Before that, he had an ipod that he used to kik or facetime his friends.

 

[MrsPete]

Multiple random thoughts:

- My kids are young 20s now, and it seemed to me that the "first wave" of kids their age were given their own phones when they started middle school ... and LOTS of kids were given phones when they finished middle school /started high school.
- Today I teach high school, and I'd say near-100% of our students have personal phones ... most of them are SmartPhones. If your kids are telling you "everyone else has one", they're not lying.
- I agree with the poster who says not to splurge on the "latest and greatest" models. If you give your kids everything, for what will they work /aspire? I remember being a teen and being so proud when I was able to buy something for myself (not that anyone had a cell phone then).
- Pretty often, I hear my high school kids talking about so-and-so texting them a dozen times between 2 am and 4 am ... kids need their sleep! When my kids were younger, our rule was that phones were on the kitchen counter after a certain hour, so no one was staying awake at night watching YouTube or texting.
- Someone asked, when does the YouTube phase end? Never. Since kids use their cell phones as music players, YouTube remains a constant. YouTube has some great stuff; for example, my husband used it to figure out how to fix our dryer ... so many "how to videos" ... but it's also full of scary stuff. You have to be careful.
- The "need" for cell phones has changed somewhat in that pretty much no one has a landline anymore.
- The pay phone has been removed from our high school, and the office is only open about 30 minutes after school ... so if a kid is staying for sports, etc., he or she won't have access to a public phone. This isn't really a big issue though: coaches are pretty good about saying what time practices end, and someone else always has a phone that can be borrowed.
- I don't know about younger grades, but in high school it's assumed that everyone can be reached via text message. Our school uses Remind 101 for lots of things -- Sophomores sign up for PSAT by this date, Varsity Football against East Friday night 7:00, two hour delay for snow, etc. Many parents sign up for these reminds too. A kid who can't receive text messages is somewhat hampered academically and socially -- don't take that statement to an extreme -- I'm saying a kid who can't send /receive texts is just going to be a little out of the loop -- I'm not saying he'll be a social outcast or anything.
- Phones in the classroom are a real problem. Kids are experts at hiding them, and they're a BIG distraction for the kids. We do not use phones for any educational purposes in the classroom; we have a laptop for every student, and the laptops have some restrictions to keep kids "where they should be" ... for example, you can't google anything to do with pornography at school, and YouTube videos are "locked" to students (though teachers can show educational YouTubes on the SmartBoard and can "unlock" specific YouTubes for students to watch.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

First, not looking for judgements or debates.

My DS is turning 10 in November. He keeps asking for a phone. I keep saying no. But I hear so many kids lately that have them. So it made me wonder...

When did your kids first get a cell phone or when are you planning to first get them one?

My "kids" are now upper 20-somethings and none of them had phone until they needed it. Generally Jr/Sr year in high school. When they needed to be able to phone me (or someone else) when away from home. Since pay phones were disappearing at an extremely fast rate.

When they first started asking for phones (or alluding to it) they were around 10-12, but I would just ask them why do they need one? If the answer was "so Mary & I can text/talk" Or "Because I want it" then the answer was "no, unless you want to buy one yourself".

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

My DD is 8 and has been asking for a phone for months. Last school year (2nd grade), they had an "Electronics Day" where kids were encouraged to bring in their phones, iPads/iPods, Chromebooks, etc and the kids were given free time to play on them. DD was the ONLY student in her class of 29 kids that did not bring something in. She doesn't own any of that stuff. She claims that at least half of the students in her class have their own phones (many of them smart phones) and almost all have a tablet of some sort. When I went in for conferences last year, the teacher handed me a paper with a list of sites for educational games that she wanted the kids to play at home. She was shocked when I told her that my DD doesn't own any devices and I think she's too young to play around on my laptop. In my area at least, kids are getting electronic devices at very young ages.

I really can't see us letting her have a phone until probably high school, and even then I don't know that she would really need it.

 

[Miranda Danda]

My DD10 just got my old iPhone 6+ (with a new battery and new case) for her birthday. We added her to our family plan. For us, it’s peace of mind that she can contact us when she’s with friends or home and I run to the store. She keeps her spelling lists on an app and her multiplication flash card app on the phone so she does use it to study as well.
I proctor state testing and two years ago I proctored 3rd grade. I had to collect all electronics before the tests and make sure they were all turned off. About 3/4 of the third grade class had phones or iPad minis.
When my daughter got her phone she also got a portable charging pack with charging cords as well. I feel so much better about her being away from me when I know she can immediately contact me if she needs to.
I downloaded an app called “Our Pact” that lets me restrict certain apps/internet/messaging remotely from my phone. I love it!

 

[Sparkly]

I got my first mobile phone at 11- a Nokia, at the time. Couldn't do much other then call, or play Snake on it. Got my first smart phone at 17 when I was in late high school.

 

[Klayfish]

Our kids got cell phones when our oldest was 10 and our twins were 7. Glad we did it. They love YouTube, they watch that more than they do TV. We honestly don't monitor them all that close.

 

[laughinplace199]

For us, it wasn't a certain age but more how often the kids would be doing things away from us and may need to reach us. DD was 6th grade and DS was 7th. My youngest is now in 6th grade and has no need for one. He will probably get one when he starts 7th grade as he'll be on his own more at that point with walking to school and friends houses.

 

[richmo]

I think ours were around 7th or 8th grade. At the time there weren't many smartphones around other than BlackBerry's, so I think they had a pretty basic Nokia. The timing was due more to them having activities for which they'd need a ride from school...for our convenience not having to sit in school parking lots forever.

 

[mco65]

My oldest got one when he was 13 or 14. NOt long after, my wife got the twins phones so they were 10 or 11... hard to remember.

 

[aprilgail]

I really can't see us letting her have a phone until probably high school, and even then I don't know that she would really need it.

By high school the teachers used texting app to text kids their homework reminders, dates of tests and anything else they needed to know about the class- can't imagine a kid not having a cell phone by high school and what they do if they don't. All the clubs also use text to let kids know club meeting dates/times/locations. And in class the teachers would often have them take out their phones to look things up online.
By Jr. High all the kids made plans by group text- I know my daughters friend was one of the only kids that did not have a phone in Jr/ High in their group and she was eft out of many things because they simply forgot to let her know because they are all so used to just texting.
In grade school some of their homework was done on the computer so if they didn't have one they had to go to the public library and use theirs. My daughter is 18 now but from the time she was little (like 2-3) I would get her educational games and she would play on the computer.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

When my twins (now 20) were 8 and in second grade, DH, due to his work schedule, would often be about five minutes or so late picking them up from school, and DD started having anxiety about it. We bought one Nokia phone so she could call DH if necessary, with rules about usage and her in charge of it (lol), and her anxiety immediately plummeted. And funny, she rarely called. But just knowing she could if she wanted to helped so much. Then she could enjoy a few mins on the playground after school with DS instead of standing there crying. They later got iPods, then eventually we all got IPhone 3GS's.

I remember these types of threads from ten years ago. This one seems similar where many people don't want their kids to start out too early with personal phones, and I can respect that. But I do think our world has changed a lot since then as far as technology goes. As some have already mentioned, there aren't too many land lines around anymore, assignments, grades, and things like activity scheduling and communication are often done online now, and there can certainly be safety issues that are legitimate concerns, such as being home alone, and ride pick up and such. And even when mine were in HS they were starting to use phones in the classroom. (Which was a big change even in the four years they were there.) I can only imagine how quickly things have been evolving over the last few years. I think I would want my children to be able to keep up and not be lost on using technology (like some of us old folks!).

But I think the thing that would really seal it for me was watching and reading stories of survivors of some of the school shootings (which, actually, could be anywhere) and how important their phones became at that point - literally a life line in talking to their families and getting instructions over Twitter on what to do, what was happening outside and how help was on the way, etc. I'll see if I can find the one story that stood out to me and if I can, I'll post it here. But ultimately, it's each family's choice on how they want to handle it.

ETA Here it is: https://www.cnn.com/2018/05/19/us/santa-fe-high-school-deedra-van-ness/index.html

 

[Kellykins1218]

My kids are 13 & 11 and have a GPS watch phone so I can find them at the local amusement park. They probably won't get real phones until high school.

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

By high school the teachers used texting app to text kids their homework reminders, dates of tests and anything else they needed to know about the class- can't imagine a kid not having a cell phone by high school and what they do if they don't. All the clubs also use text to let kids know club meeting dates/times/locations. And in class the teachers would often have them take out their phones to look things up online.
By Jr. High all the kids made plans by group text- I know my daughters friend was one of the only kids that did not have a phone in Jr/ High in their group and she was eft out of many things because they simply forgot to let her know because they are all so used to just texting.
In grade school some of their homework was done on the computer so if they didn't have one they had to go to the public library and use theirs. My daughter is 18 now but from the time she was little (like 2-3) I would get her educational games and she would play on the computer.

My brother just graduated HS and said similar things about how phones were frequently used in the classroom. Honestly, that will probably be the biggest reason we may decide to let her have one in HS, but we will have to see when the time comes. I know in middle school around here (earlier for some districts- it was a requirement for my brother to have a laptop in 5th grade- 8 yrs ago), computers will become more of a necessity for many homework assignments, so hopefully we will have a new one by then and can let her use this one when she needs it. We play loads of (non-tech based) educational games and activities at home. She spends so much of her school day in front of a screen (they do a lot of their work on the school's chromebooks), that I feel she needs a break from it at home. I know technology is a huge part of society, but I wish it wasn't as prevalent as it is in schools, where a cell phone has become almost a necessity in order to simply be a student. I know there are pros and cons to everything, and I'm not wishing to start a debate with anyone about it. Personally, I just don't see a reason for my kids to have cell phones until they are much, much older.