iLovDisney
The Dis'er formerly known as Mom-to-3. Add 1751 to
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2000
How does your family handle the boundaries of being a step-parent?
3 years ago, my mother (age 62) married a man whose wife had died of cancer a year earlier. His kids didn't seem that excited about the wedding, but I felt it was natural for them to feel that way. They are in their early 30's.
My mother feels his kids take advantage of his time and money. They overspend and then ask their dad to cover some of their expenses. She feels they would have more money for essentials if they lived more wisely -- and they wouldn't need to ask Dad for help. One of the daughters (married with one child) lives rent-free in her dad's old house. The other daughter (with 2 kids) is getting a divorce that she didn't see coming and is devasted by. She is in a lot of debt and is selling her house and moving in with the other sister in their dad's old house. She also hinted to her dad that she won't be able to take a vacation this year, so she wondered if she could use his timeshare.
My mother notices every movie, outfit, restaurant meal that these women spend their money on. It drives her crazy. She then grumbles to her husband and he gets mad.
He is medically retired with a heart defibrilator but works part-time at Home Depot.
I do know these girls can be mercenary about money. One of the first times I met one of them, we talked about bottle-feeding and its expense versus breast-feeding. She laughed and said she tricked her father into buying most of her formula. She said he always called before he came over and she would ask him to buy some formula on the way over. She never reimbursed him.
My mom thinks he shouldn't be working so hard. Their fighting about this is escalating -- and she is asking me for advice. I have always told her that he is a stubborn man and she will never change him. (I'm married to one of those myself).
There are a lot of "on the one hand" and "on the other hand" in this situation. What are your views, o'wise DISers?
3 years ago, my mother (age 62) married a man whose wife had died of cancer a year earlier. His kids didn't seem that excited about the wedding, but I felt it was natural for them to feel that way. They are in their early 30's.
My mother feels his kids take advantage of his time and money. They overspend and then ask their dad to cover some of their expenses. She feels they would have more money for essentials if they lived more wisely -- and they wouldn't need to ask Dad for help. One of the daughters (married with one child) lives rent-free in her dad's old house. The other daughter (with 2 kids) is getting a divorce that she didn't see coming and is devasted by. She is in a lot of debt and is selling her house and moving in with the other sister in their dad's old house. She also hinted to her dad that she won't be able to take a vacation this year, so she wondered if she could use his timeshare.
My mother notices every movie, outfit, restaurant meal that these women spend their money on. It drives her crazy. She then grumbles to her husband and he gets mad.
He is medically retired with a heart defibrilator but works part-time at Home Depot.
I do know these girls can be mercenary about money. One of the first times I met one of them, we talked about bottle-feeding and its expense versus breast-feeding. She laughed and said she tricked her father into buying most of her formula. She said he always called before he came over and she would ask him to buy some formula on the way over. She never reimbursed him.
My mom thinks he shouldn't be working so hard. Their fighting about this is escalating -- and she is asking me for advice. I have always told her that he is a stubborn man and she will never change him. (I'm married to one of those myself).
There are a lot of "on the one hand" and "on the other hand" in this situation. What are your views, o'wise DISers?
