New to the board.

[ckirkseyblue]

Hello,

My sister in law sent me the link to this message board. My husband is being deployed to Iraq in a month. It is his first time. We have 3 daughters 8,5 and 4. I am taking it one day at a time and being positive. I would love any advice from other wives who have had their husbands deployed. I have no idea what to expect. I am doing my best to research and find information for Spouses of deployed servicemen. Anywho, hope to get to know you all and make some friends.

Christina

 

[lovemygoofy]

Hi Christina,

I'm Tina and my husband is active duty army and has been to Iraq twice and currently prepping to leave for his third time. Please feel free to ask me or PM me any questions or email me anytime. I don't have any children so I really don't know much about how to deal with that aspect but with anything else I'm pretty educated about now. One tip I would say is to have your husband read some stories on tape or if you have a cam corder have them video taped so your kids can watch or play them while he is gone. Also, think about mini tape recorders so your kids can do letters on tape for your husband and he can do letters back to them. It really helps so I've heard from families.

Good luck I know this is so hard on families

 

[ckirkseyblue]

Hi Tina,

I did read on a military website about recording my husband reading books. I requested information from the site on it and I am hoping my hubby will be willing to do it. I think its a great Idea. When my kids are missing their dad I can pop in one of the dvd's of him reading a book. We just bought a mini digital video camera. I am hoping it will be a great way for us to send him video mail from us. The hardest part right now is getting everything taken care of before he leaves. There are so many helpful things for military families. The one thing that will take a great load off my shoulders is to know that we can have some of our bill payments suspended until he returns. Since I am a stay at home mom and I plan to be until my youngest is in school full time I cannot make the money my husband is making now to pay all our bills. I also read about grants for summer camps for children of deployed service members. This would be a great help for us during the summer time to keep my children busy and making friends. I think a good summer camp can also help with self esteem. Thanks for replying and letting me know I have someone to talk too.

Christina

 

[lovemygoofy]

You sound like you have a great head on your shoulders, Christina, and a good attitude which is really needed at this time. Make sure that you have several copies of your husbands paperwork/orders sending him to Iraq. Before you can either have payments suspended or have the interest rate reduced more than likely you would have to mail or fax the business a copy of the orders for Iraq.

Make sure that you have your powers of attorney up to date as well as know where the wills and the life insurance policies are. It's an evil necessary unfournately. I'm guessing that ya'll are Nat'l Guard. Do you have your ID cards for your kids and already enrolled in DEERS or will you stick with the health program you are using now? Before you husband leaves, sit down and figure out how your husband will be spending money in Iraq. Will he have a cc for him that doesn't automatically come out of your monies account unless you want that but just decide so you don't see money going out before the next pay period and leaving you with problems.

Do you have a good list of things to send for goody boxes? I have a compiled list I don't mind posting or sending to you. Also you can order off the usps website a group of flat rate boxes that you can pack quite a bit in for the cost of $8.10 and you can order the priority tape for the boxes for free as well with the bundle of free boxes. Great tip to remember as I need to order my own bundle soon. I'm sure as soon as other miliary families see this they will chime in also because they are a fount of information and support as well. Good luck

 

[ckirkseyblue]

Tina,

Yes we have been putting off the dreaded will. It Has to be done though. My husband has been gone since last saturday. He is returning tomorrow. He was at a combat school for a week. I have not heard from him in 4 days. Last phone call I recieved He left a message and sounded exhausted. Apparently they are only allowed 2 hrs of sleep. I guess this is getting us both ready for his departure.

I wanted to post some very helpful information I found. I found two dvd's that are both helpful for wives of the deployed and their children. The first dvd is a sesame street called Talk, Listen, connect Helping families during Militay Deployement. It is free from Military One Source.
The second dvd is an audio for the wives called These Boots by Jacey Eckhart. It is a Spouse's quide to stepping up and standing tall during deployment. I ordered it for free from the same place I just posted. I listened to this audio dvd with my husband and it was so helpful.


Sorry ladies I was not able to post the url links. You will have to type in Military One Source and hope it pulls up. Another helpful site is Department of Defense Deployment Health Support. It touches on getting ready for Deployment and what you have do, In regards to health care ext.


I hope everyone has a blessed day.

Christina

 

[lovemygoofy]

Sounds like you've found some great resources. Also another great resource is www.myarmylifetoo.com it is a realtively new website that is for any form of the army whether active, guard or reserve and has lots of information. Maybe it can be of help to you.

I've heard marvelous things about the elmo video and we had a big viewing of it here on post for the kids and going to do another group viewing soon for one of my classes. You really sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and a good attitude which is essential to getting you through this hard time but i think you are going to be just fine.

 

[ckirkseyblue]

Sorry Tina,

I forgot to mention my husband is a Sargeant in the Marines.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Sorry Tina,

I forgot to mention my husband is a Sargeant in the Marines.

OHH lol yeah guess that website wont help but I won't hold the marines against you

We are all sisters in this crazy military life no matter what colors our husbands wear

 

[ckirkseyblue]

Please don't hold that against me. I think they are all equal in the same respect. They are doing jobs most people do not want to do. You have to be a certain type of person to put your life aside for the military. I think you also have to be a certain kind of woman to give up your husband to the military and the united states. I would never stand in the way of my husbands dreams. I am proud of my Marine, and I know you feel the same about your hubby.

Christina

 

[Doodlebug939]

Christina- I just wanted to check to see how you are doing? I am on and off here all the time. Your post was one that I wanted to respond to. My husband is active duty military and although he has not gone to Iraq he is gone from home about three weeks at a time per month.

I have two children who are 8 and 6. I know that they have beared the biggest challenges. It might be a good idea to see if your childrens school has counseling or group for children who's parents are serving in the military. At my childrens school it is not "therapy" so to speak but more of a group where similar kids realize that they are not alone. The children do small group stuff like parties and activities to build a "group family".

Our childrens school also has stars hanging from the ceiling at the entrance of each service member who is serving in Iraq. I think that they have about 20-25 stars now. I am a 4th grade Teachers Aid and I am well aware of those childrens sacrafices each and every morning that I enter the school.

As for care packages I have heard that DVD movies, magazines are helpful additions to favorite food items.

As I think of more I will post.

 

[jmskinner]

Hi Christina!

My DH is currently in Iraq. He is Air Force. He has 5 months left on his 12 month tour. One suggestion I have is to plan some time for yourself. Find someone to keep the kiddos.

Since my DH left, I started working part-time, instead of full-time, but I am still just exhausted at night because I do it all. Get the kiddo to all of his doctor appointments, soccer, Boy Scouts, homework etc.

Also, make sure you have some support for yourself. The Col. calls me about once a month just to make sure we are doing ok.

The base has a family support center and they try to hold monthly functions for all of the families of deployed soldiers. They had bowling last month and it was so much fun.

My DH set up a separate checking account for himself and money is deposited in it every month. Then if he needs extra he is able to take it out of our checking or savings. He usually asks first which is good. Thankfully he has a laptop so we communicate daily. I know we are very fortunate to do that.

One thing my DH likes me to send him is the packets of lemonade, such as Crystal Lite on the Go. He doesn't like to drink just water. I usually hit Sam's and send him a bunch of stuff knowing he will share it with the others in his office.

Take care and God Bless.
Melissa

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

I'm getting to your post a little late, but I thought I would share a couple of things I've found useful during past deployments and this one (my Dh left yesterday).

First, we always do a countdown. Of course we don't really know when he'll be home, but it's supposed to be a year so I have a plaque that says "Daddy comes home in" and changeable numbers that hang on hooks. I've also heard of people filling a jar with 365 hershey kisses so their child gets a kiss from daddy every night and as the jar empties it gets closer to when he comes home (this is easier to fudge, you can add or take away as you need to).

Something else that helps me is to get involved with our FRG. I see your Dh is a Marine, but I assume you have something like that, a family support group. I have found that I actually get info. faster that way because it comes straight from the commander, I usually find out things before my DH does.

As someone else mentioned, our school has a group that kids can attend to help with any family changes, they do crafts, talk, hang out.

Read your post's newspaper! I can't stress this enough. I just can't believe the number of people that just leave it outside until it gets thrown away! It's a wealth of information. Some places offer free childcare on the first Sat. of the month for parents of deployed children, free bowling, free crafts, etc. The newspaper is the best way to find out what resources are available.

You are doing a great job preparing yourself ahead of time , you are really making things easier on yourself by doing this.