My husband is always the same way about any vacations. He never wants to plan anything and complains about what it cost while I'm doing all the planing. So frustrating! After a few years of marriage and experiences with this frustration I labeled his syndrome "spoiled child grown up syndrome!" He grew up in family that enjoyed the finer things in life and still wants them but we can't always afford his taste.
After almost 25 years of marriage I have learned the best approach is to plan two vacations to the the same destination. One more budget friendly that still includes the majority of our families must haves NEEDS. For example, we do better with space over a traditional hotel room. (Well, actually he does better with space. The kids and I are fine in one room but that a whole other can of worms.) Then I plan the another with all the perks he is use to having when he travels for business or how he traveled growing up. Basically, how he prefers to travel when someone else foots the bill. Then we typically plan a date night out to dinner sands kids and with numbers and pics in hand I show him both options. We go over the pros and cons of both types of vacations and try to agree at this point which vacation works best. Typically we end up booking the budget friendly one but there have been a few occasions when we go for broke and splurge. We may also spent this time tweaking a few things. For my husband it took me a few years to figure out that me asking his opinion as I planned with everyday life in our family going on around him didn't get him invested in participating in the process. It worked better to get his opinion if he had evidence to ponder as to the pros and cons of each vacation style without the disruption of family life going on around him. He's a numbers guy so once he saw what that monorail line room or convenience of the
DDP was costing broken down in cost compared to staying a few miles away in a nice offsite condo resort and renting a car and driving a bit he was able to weigh if it was worth it to him or not.
As someone who stays both on and offsite I highly recommend having a car if you decided to go offsite. Also, if you decided to do offsite your husband is bound to compare offsite to his experience onsite. Personally, I would stay at a nicer condo resort or house. I would recommend Bonnet Creek or Sheraton Vistana Villages. The Sheraton is further away but very nice. I would stick with higher end offsite condo or houses this trip to get him and you use to off site. Another thing to consider is condos and homes do not come with daily maid service. I personally get all the family on board with the fact that they will need to pick up after themselves as neither my husband or I do well in clutter. I was not about to spending my vacation cleaning so that is established before we book. You may also wish to discuss how you will deal with meals while staying in a condo or home. FYI- just because there is a full kitchen does not mean you have to cook. We typically do breakfast in the room and still book some adrs in the parks. Yet, I highly suggest having this planned out before you commit to this style of vacation. I loved having a in room washer and dryer as I loath coming home to the piles of dirty vacation laundry but again just because you have a washer and dryer does not mean you must use it.
A nice compromise hotel is booking a two bedroom villa at the Caribe Royale. These sit in a separate building at the back of the resort. They are basically 2 bedroom condos with all the perks of the resort including daily maid service! They are very nice but a bit more expensive then typical condo rentals but less then the poly for sure. I won't lie it's not as nice as staying at the poly but for the price it is a lovely resort with a great pool area. They do offer shuttles to Disney but they are limited at best. I would recommend a rental car still. Especially since you plan on doing Universal this trip as well.
Best of luck with your planning. Either way you're bound to have a great trip.