Public restroom-be very aware of your surroundings

[Orion Nebula]

Can’t she take it with her? How about if she wants a tampon or a lipstick out of it?

Or leave it at the table with you. Or at the VLT with you? Or the park bench with you?

Why do you have to hold it right outside the washroom?

If I need to go to the washroom I just say “excuse me I’m running to the washroom “ and get up and then return. No need for anyone to follow.
If out walking (shopping centre, theme park) somewhere busy usually my husband/ friends say “I’ll meet you here” - park bench, by water fountain, etc. of course usually in that case my husband says “me too” and we meet up outside the respective washrooms

Well I mean if she wants it for something she takes it with her...

But it's mostly due to courtesy, I don't think she likes taking it into the bathroom in general... because it's a bathroom. Sometimes hooks aren't available etc. Regardless I haven't ever stood directly in front of the women's door. It's either at the entrance to the hallway, or between the men's and women's. I am not oblivious to how things can be perceived. Which is honestly a bit sad that men always become "suspect" doing almost anything, we aren't all creepsters. I mean... it's my wife, it's holding a purse... but obviously warranted a mini-lecture on how dumb the very concept is. We are going out Saturday and if she has to use it... my son and I will probably BOTH be waiting for her... *gasp*.

 

[Ms.Minnie]

To the OP, I'm sorry you had this experience, I would have been very upset had it happened me.

To the idea of unisex bathrooms, I for one don't like the idea unless they are for one user at a time (one toilet/sink, one person at a time). The exception would be if you took your child into the room with you. I don't want to share the same space at the same time with a man unless that man is my husband. Even then I would rather I do my business and he do his business each on our own time, not together. I have seen the single user unisex bathrooms in hospitals and at WDW pool area and that is ok with me because I'm the only one occupying the space.

I always wait outside for my wife, just do, and she waits for me. It’s something I never thought about.

And as an aside, I won’t leave her alone at the table while out for dinner, it’s just not the right thing to do, that is to leave a lady alone at the table.

I think your comments show that chivalry is still alive and well. I'm thinking you are trying to be chivalrous towards your wife and I'm also sure she appreciates the gesture. Maybe some here have never experienced it? Unfortunately, there are those here who can't appreciate other points of view. I think if you and your DW are happy then continue doing what you're doing and don't worry about what others think.

Just in case you haven’t noticed, the community board posters tend to be a very tough crowd at times especially if they don't agree with your point of view.

 

[barkley]

so can i take away from this thread that i'm one of the only women that tends NOT to have a purse when out shopping? i mean other than my i.d., whatever form of plastic or cash i'm using to pay with, my cell phone and my key fob all of which can fit into a wallet/cell phone case that hangs from my wrist-there's nothing i'm desperate to have on my person at all times.

what is carried in all those purses that is vital to have at all times?

 

[CdnCarrie]

so can i take away from this thread that i'm one of the only women that tends NOT to have a purse when out shopping? i mean other than my i.d., whatever form of plastic or cash i'm using to pay with, my cell phone and my key fob all of which can fit into a wallet/cell phone case that hangs from my wrist-there's nothing i'm desperate to have on my person at all times.

what is carried in all those purses that is vital to have at all times?

Me too actually! I just carry my phone which is in wallet type case. That's it.

 

[Smugpugmug]

so can i take away from this thread that i'm one of the only women that tends NOT to have a purse when out shopping? i mean other than my i.d., whatever form of plastic or cash i'm using to pay with, my cell phone and my key fob all of which can fit into a wallet/cell phone case that hangs from my wrist-there's nothing i'm desperate to have on my person at all times.

what is carried in all those purses that is vital to have at all times?

I usually carry a small backpack as my wallet and phone can't fit in my pockets (women's jeans having nonexistent pockets is a whole other issue for another thread). I've never owned a purse.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Well I mean if she wants it for something she takes it with her...

But it's mostly due to courtesy, I don't think she likes taking it into the bathroom in general... because it's a bathroom. Sometimes hooks aren't available etc. Regardless I haven't ever stood directly in front of the women's door. It's either at the entrance to the hallway, or between the men's and women's. I am not oblivious to how things can be perceived. Which is honestly a bit sad that men always become "suspect" doing almost anything, we aren't all creepsters. I mean... it's my wife, it's holding a purse... but obviously warranted a mini-lecture on how dumb the very concept is. We are going out Saturday and if she has to use it... my son and I will probably BOTH be waiting for her... *gasp*.

This thread is weird.

Again as I've already said about about 3 times for sure it's normal if you are walking like in a mall that you wait for each other outside. We all do that. My comment to the OP was about how she has her husband stand outside the bathroom in all circumstances (ie he leaves the table to follow her...) and she elaborated regarding her anxiety. I also said twice about how sorry I was for what happened and how I understand that she has anxiety so her husband waits outside no matter where she is.

The having to leave a restaurant table and follow the wife to the bathroom was the origin of the confusion as it seems rather unusual. But everyone is different. I wouldn't like that at all but some women do.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

All this talk about bathroom watching, purse holding I think really comes down to how people are describing their way of doing it. For the OP they clarified it was something that made them comfortable and that seems completely reasonable given how they explained themselves.

It's pretty normal for someone to wait outside a bathroom, happens countless times to my husband and I, but it's about just being in the general vicinity not because either one of us feels an obligation or need to do so. We also at times say "I'm gonna go to the bathroom meet you X". However some posters who are getting the questions (and yeah probably a bit abrupt in people's responses) are more along the lines of "always" "it's just the right thing to do". Unless there are some anxiety-driven decisions here (which appears to be the case for the OP) then yeah I get why it comes off a certain way.

Does my husband hold my purse or bag while I go to the bathroom at times? Of course, that's totally normal. Does he feel like he needs to follow me to the bathroom or always hold my purse or never leave me alone? Absolutely not. And I wouldn't see it as chivalrous either or as a courtesy. Courtesy is holding the purse, holding the purse all the time is a bit much. If your spouse is expressing this desire for this behavior that's that though.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

what is carried in all those purses that is vital to have at all times?

Well a purse doesn't have to be huge. In recent years for the most part I prefer smaller crossbody. My vera bradly disney and harry potter triple hipsters are mostly the largest I carry but I like my smaller ones.

One I'm using right now is from Silver Dollar City and can barely fit my phone, keys, vera bradley id case. I usually carry a small travel bottle of ibuprofen and tums too.

99% of the purses I use are cross body. I got tired of things falling off my shoulder and I haven't really gotten into the backpack thing.

Why would I carry these things individually as opposed to in a bag that is defined as a purse?

 

[Moliphino]

what is carried in all those purses that is vital to have at all times?

I like to be prepared. Wallet, pads/tampons, Aleve, contact lens solution and case, umbrella, chapstick, sunglasses, snacks, work ID (I take it out when on vacation). I feel naked without it.

 

[Karin1984]

what is carried in all those purses that is vital to have at all times?

A purse is the extension of your soul.
Think of it as a daemon in The Golden Compass, only it is not in animal form.

 

[DLgal]

so can i take away from this thread that i'm one of the only women that tends NOT to have a purse when out shopping? i mean other than my i.d., whatever form of plastic or cash i'm using to pay with, my cell phone and my key fob all of which can fit into a wallet/cell phone case that hangs from my wrist-there's nothing i'm desperate to have on my person at all times.

what is carried in all those purses that is vital to have at all times?

I wish I didn't have to carry a purse. I actually hate it. I do have a wristlet that I clip my keys onto sometimes for a quick trip to the store, but I actually don't like things hanging off my wrists either. I have to always carry migraine meds with me, a tiny bottle of water (to take the meds if needed) and my wallet is pretty large. So, I use a small crossbody bag. It's always on me when we go out. I even leave it on while I sit and eat somewhere. I never am without it and I never hand it over to my husband to hold because it always keeps my hands free anyway.

 

[barkley]

I usually carry a small backpack as my wallet and phone can't fit in my pockets (women's jeans having nonexistent pockets is a whole other issue for another thread). I've never owned a purse.

A purse is the extension of your soul.
Think of it as a daemon in The Golden Compass, only it is not in animal form.

it's not that i don't own purses, i just tend not to use them in situations where they are cumbersome to deal with and i don't want to be paranoid about them despite using the shopping cart seat belt to lock um in place.

i tend to think of my car as a great big purse-umbrellas, spare meds, cough drops...all at the ready.


disclaimer- i just bought a few loungefly bags for when i do want to use a purse because i like ones that can prompt people to start conversations (helps us shyer folks trying our best to socialize once a year or so)-these are the newest. do they meet the approval of the purse lovers on this thread?

 

[Colleen27]

so can i take away from this thread that i'm one of the only women that tends NOT to have a purse when out shopping? i mean other than my i.d., whatever form of plastic or cash i'm using to pay with, my cell phone and my key fob all of which can fit into a wallet/cell phone case that hangs from my wrist-there's nothing i'm desperate to have on my person at all times.

what is carried in all those purses that is vital to have at all times?

Most of the time, I carry a men's wallet and my phone in my back pockets because I live 90% of my life in jeans. But when I'm traveling is when I'm most likely to carry a purse, either because I'm dressed nicer than my everyday and therefore don't have wallet and phone-safe pockets or because I'm carrying my camera/other extras I don't normally need or because I am in the sort of more crowded/urban places where you have to be conscious of pickpockets.

 

[mousefan73]

I’m surprised no one’s mentioned the bum gun. Just got back from a trip in the UAE and they’re everywhere. Colleague of mine who is British and has lived there for 30 years says that once you know how to use it, you can’t live without it. She was also mentioning that when the World Cup was in Qatar, so many foreigners went back home and had them installed on their own bathrooms. I have to admit I tried it and something I definitely could get used to and it’s definitely much better than a bidet.

 

[Living42Day]

what is carried in all those purses that is vital to have at all times?

It's all about fashion. I love taking my purses out for different occasions, outfits, etc. I have 12 purses right now, all serving various purposes for what the day is planned around: a work purse, shopping purse, party purse, travel/airport purse, purse that can fit a laptop, and a purse for going to concerts that is clear so it goes along with the rules. The others in between are more fun or just collectibles that are displayed on shelves on my office wall. Some are gifts, most are purchased by me. Almost forgot about the concealed carry one.

What's carried in them? The only consistent things in there are pepper spray, keys, wallet, phone, and a pen/paper set.

Similar to shoes - there is a pair for every occasion haha

 

[mom2rtk]

so can i take away from this thread that i'm one of the only women that tends NOT to have a purse when out shopping? i mean other than my i.d., whatever form of plastic or cash i'm using to pay with, my cell phone and my key fob all of which can fit into a wallet/cell phone case that hangs from my wrist-there's nothing i'm desperate to have on my person at all times.

what is carried in all those purses that is vital to have at all times?

I stopped carrying a purse during the pandemic. Just didn't want to worry about wiping the germs off when I got home. Once they decided surface transmission wasn't a thing, I never went back. Phone, wallet, keys. I count to 3 when I leave and that's it.

 

[dvcgirl67]

so can i take away from this thread that i'm one of the only women that tends NOT to have a purse when out shopping? i mean other than my i.d., whatever form of plastic or cash i'm using to pay with, my cell phone and my key fob all of which can fit into a wallet/cell phone case that hangs from my wrist-there's nothing i'm desperate to have on my person at all times.

what is carried in all those purses that is vital to have at all times?

Nope, you're not alone. I rarely carry a purse in public. As for the OP's experience....sorry that she was frightened in that way, but once I saw the unisex bathroom come in to the picture, I knew how this thread would go. That, in my opinion, has nothing to do with what happened. If the person was a male, and a thief....well, could have just as easily been a woman who was a thief doing the same thing. Not saying it was in her circumstance, but could have been.

The only time DH and I stand outside of rest rooms waiting for each other is at the airport. We alternated, one of us waiting outside with our carry-on suitcases and backpacks that we carry on our backs....because we don't like bringing our luggage/backpacks into the restrooms. But it's not out of fear...just because it's less gross. I get that if you're traveling alone you can't avoid it. But I'd never feel the need for my husband to stand outside of a public restroom to guard the door so to speak.

 

[CdnCarrie]

I thought about this thread earlier as I was reading a Reddit post regarding Michelle and Jim bob Duggar.

They traveled to Israel this week and people on the rumour mill were talking about how every time Michelle went to the lavatory on the plane JB waited outside for her.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I thought about this thread earlier as I was reading a Reddit post regarding Michelle and Jim bob Duggar.

They traveled to Israel this week and people on the rumour mill were talking about how every time Michelle went to the lavatory on the plane JB waited outside for her.

I feel like at this point you're just stirring the pot, really bringing in the duggars?

 

[Smugpugmug]

disclaimer- i just bought a few loungefly bags for when i do want to use a purse because i like ones that can prompt people to start conversations (helps us shyer folks trying our best to socialize once a year or so)-these are the newest. do they meet the approval of the purse lovers on this thread?

These bags are adorable! I only have 1 Loungefly and I wear it to the mall but not when I'm running errands. I see a lot of people wearing Loungefly bags nowadays. In the bathroom, I hang mine up on the hook but I find with the Loungefly bags the material of the handles makes them slip off the hook more than my other bag. Also can vouch for starting conversations because I've chatted with people after they complimented my bag and vice versa.