Not exactly. He would
let her move in if she has absolutely nowhere else to go, and the only choice is either move in with us or let her live on the street. I not a monster, so I would never make him let his own mother live on the streets, but I also know that if she ever came to live with us, it would break me, and our marriage, and I would not stay. DH's answer is to ignore her bad behavior and either hope she doesn't do it again, or change OUR way of doing things in order to protect the kids and us from her craziness, and my solution is to tell her straight-out what we will and will not tolerate from her. So we would argue about that, I would be stressed and angry all the time, he would be in the middle, and it wouldn't be good for anyone. I have put my foot down for 20 years now that there is NO WAY she will ever be living with us so long as she has ANYWHERE else to go, and DH agrees with that. His sense of guilt and loyalty comes in if ever the choice becomes a "take her in, or leave her homeless" situation, and we both pray that it never comes to that because we both know it will be our responsibility to take her in, but also know it will devastate our marriage. I agree with you...it *is* heartbreaking knowing it could come to this one day
ETA: And yes, her financial, health, and mental stability/capacity is such that if she doesn't have family to support her, she will be homeless and on the streets. I'm not talking in hyperbole here. It is a dire situation she is in.