update-quitting smoking! 8-20-05 Missy's support Journal~

[miss missy]

Hi all !

I have some things that I need to change in my life.

Starting today, I start new hours at work. A lot of changes to my day and my families day. DH will be picking up all the slack. I just want to be arround for them and can't be, so thats a struggle for me. There are no options of changing right now so lets not discuss that.

I also smoke and need to stop! I also need to get back to walking as I have an extra 20 lbs right now.

The new hours will provide me time to walk, I didnt have that time before.

Now, to get motivated !!!!

I have always fought this 20 lbs. On and off it goes. But I know with walking, it is always what works.

So looking for support and kind words.

Thanks all, cant wait to meet you all!

Missy

 

[Christine]

Missy,
Welcome!! I hope it all works out for you with your new hours.

I guess my first question to you would be, do you have a plan to lose your 20 lbs. How are you monitoring your food intake, what changes are you trying to make.

The exercise will definitely help. But for me, it is never enough unless you modify your eating. Not, at least, if you're in the "only 10-20 lbs to lose" category. Which is where I am. Those are the toughest ones to get off so they take probably the most work.

So how are you eating?

 

[pettyone]

I also smoke and need to stop! I also need to get back to walking as I have an extra 20 lbs right now.

Hi there!! Welcome!!

Can we just say ditto for me on the above? We're in the same boat, so I look forward to checking in to see how you're doing & offering you support as well...good luck!!

 

[miss missy]

Well I am back!!

I am happy to say I have been walking a lot for months now and dropped weight !! Not sure how much because I am waiting to weigh myself, but my pants are falling off and I have been asked that awesome question "are you loosing weight?"

I feel good and gonna kick the smoking too. Right now I am getting ready to cut down first. I need to get my head ready mostly!

Everything else is good. The hours are not as good as the old shift, I miss my family! I am just going one day at a time and feeling my way through the changes.

I have done a lot in the last 6 months and am looking to go forward with changes !!

 

[pearlieq]

Quitting smoking is a great decision! Congrats!

Best of luck to you!!!

 

[Cruise04]

Good job on the weight loss!!!! Now to tackle the other issue - starting slow is sometimes a good thing!!!! Just remember that - good luck!

Chris

 

[Cruise04]

Hope you're having a good weekend!

Keep on
Chris

 

[TigerCheer2009]

Welcome to WISH! Best of luck...quitting smoking will be hard. My dad was a smoker. I WISH you the best.

Drink your h20, eat sensibly, exercise, read other people's journals-do what you need to do.

And a cheer!

M-I-SS-Y!
You can do it if you try
We're behind you a hundred-ten percent
Good luck Missy
From one of the Jens! (me)

 

[miss missy]

Welcome to WISH! Best of luck...quitting smoking will be hard. My dad was a smoker. I WISH you the best.

Drink your h20, eat sensibly, exercise, read other people's journals-do what you need to do.

And a cheer!

M-I-SS-Y!
You can do it if you try
We're behind you a hundred-ten percent
Good luck Missy
From one of the Jens! (me)

Thanks so much for the good encouragement !!! I hate this smoking and it just has to go!!!

I will keep posting here and I know I will be able to do it with all your cheers!


Thanks everyone !!!!!!!!!

 

[TigerCheer2009]

You're welcome! Everybody needs a cheerleader at some point in time...why not let it be now?

Have an AWESOME healthy-living day...and remember you are one step closer to goal!

 

[Tasha+Scott]

Hi, Missy, and welcome to WISH!

Glad you are going to try to quit smoking! I am sure it will be hard but think of how much better you'll feel...not to mention how much money you'll save once you don't have to buy cigs anymore! We're all rooting for you!

 

[Cruise04]

Keep up the good work - I know it's hard but I agree - just think how much healthier you will feel and be. Each day that you don't smoke put a dollar in a jar. Then do something special with that money in a month or two - buy a nice shirt or pants, go to a movie you've been wanting to see, do something for you to BRAVO yourself!!!! You can do it!

Keep on
Chris

 

[miss missy]

Hmmm, I was wondering how I can use the disney trip in Nov to inspire me regarding the $$$ I will have if I put all that cig $$ aside. I need a plan, like umm, putting it in an decorated in disney theme envelope or something disney... that each night I get to put that money in something.... any ideas? I could have all my spending money doing this alone!

 

[Cruise04]

Or how about a little box that is decorated in some of your favorite Disney characters - get some cheap stickers at WalMart or something. Then put it where you can see it every day to remind you of your goal and what you can do with the money you save!!!!!!

Keep on
Chris

 

[miss missy]

Ya like that!!! I have got to get to setting a date now!!!

 

[miss missy]

OK all !

I have set a quit date! Aug 20th !

I picked this date because my co-worker, co-smoker pal is on vacation for 2 weeks then. I believe this will help me start a new routine while she is out.

I am excited to do this and need to save money, period.

I am so touched by this I found on a website.... I am posting it here so I can access it anytime!

Please support me, I need it!

peace to you all!


This is a post from a smoker on a quit smoking board

Lung cancer spread to brain now - This is WEIRD!
From jessicaybar on 1/10/2004 4:48:55 AM

I had to go to hospital and stay a night - they put me on steroids for, of all things, my brain being swollen. They did a cat scan on my head and found that there are several rather large tumors, and numerous little ones. They say this is commonly seen when lung cancer spreads to the brain. The lesions/tumors somehow make the brain swell - the pressure against the skull makes for pain and for some weird visual disturbances and other symptoms -
They did one treatment of radiation to the tumors - I have option to go back for more, but

I think I'd rather not lose my hair. That may be stupid, but it is beyond waist length, and I won't live long enough to grow it back (!) I don't think I can deal with the shame of having short hair (or no hair), even for a short while, stupid as that might sound to some but it is very important here with me and mine.When my hair is gone, that is more than I can bear, and that is when I lay down and die.

This is one of the things I feared most about the lung cancer. I didn't know lung cancer spread to the brain until after I was first diagnosed with early stage lung cancer two years ago - but I was assured all was fine, that it was a tiny little cancer, early stage, not spread anywhere, etc. But - they NEVER ever scanned my head to check for spread until now, after having symptoms of a small stroke and visual disturbances, and WOW, there it is, with quite a presence.

They say this isn't curable - the best they can do with radiation or chemo is to knock down the size of the tumors, which will help with symptoms, for a while, but they say the tumors will come back , etc. They tell me 6 months, maybe a year without treatments, with lots of pain - or maybe 12 months stretching to 2 with treatments - There is a very real reality of succumbing to sudden events such as paralysis, stroke, cerebral hemmorhage, coma, and more - I know they tell me these things to encourage me to take treatments, but even with treatments these tumors will return and those things will become a reality at some point, more than likely, anyway -

I'm at home now with lots of pain pills and steroids, and inclined not to return unless the pain/symptoms become unmanageable. The radiation oncologist told me the failure rate when it has spread to the brain is really high - i.e. just a repeat that the radiation can help hold it back a while but won't cure -

Well bummer. I had hoped to live. Doctors say that isn't possible.

So! I'm back to where I was, and I think where I've always been - waiting on the Lord, hoping and praying, and knowing the only healing that comes will be from Him.

I strongly considered having a cigarette while I was in the hospital. I would have had to go outside to the smoking area, in the wind and cold, and bum one off of someone - and I know that it probably would have made me feel very green. Even so, I was tempted. Sometimes I think that if I went back to smoking, the poison in the cigarettes might be nasty enough to kill the cancer!! Maybe, who knows. I'm positive the poison in them is what started the cancer, though, so -

I just can't bring myself to smoke as it's like instant condemnation, damnation if I do - It looks to me like I've already been damned though, so maybe it doesn't even matter at this point - but I *do* breathe easier, and my children aren't breathing in all that smoke, and my house, clothes, etc. don't smell like that anymore - that's nice.

Doctors say I can't work anymore. I kind of knew that already - I felt so bad since before Christmas vacation, then all through Christmas vacation, and when school started back this past week, I knew I wasn't able. That's going to make things hard. BUT there is a good side to that - I will get to stay home with my children, be a homemaker again for a little while. It will give me enough time (I hope, as long as nothing drastic happens for a few weeks) to get all my paperwork, etc. together for when the time comes - It'll be nice to have my house CLEAN again - that is so hard to keep up with when working full time - it'll be nice to spend time with the children like we used to do, before I started working full time years ago -

I'll go up and clean out my stuff from my classroom at school. I feel awful about doing it though - it's like stripping the room of its personality, of me, and that's kind of sad. It's a bright, cheery room, full of bright primary colors, toys and lots of books and manipulatives placed in a way to make it very attractive to little ones. I may just donate a big part of the stuff to the school - it just seems like it belongs there now as that's why I bought the stuff to begin with, for the school room, and it just seems like it belongs there -

Got to talk with funeral home people - geez louise, they charge for every little thing! Absolutely ridiculous! I decided to do away with most of the things they charge for - I'm having my grave dug here on the place, back on the mountain a little piece, where it won't cost to "buy a plot", and getting it dug beforehand by someone else. I don't wanted the embalming, visitation, etc..funeral home says I MUST have embalming (another charge) unless there is immediate-within-24-hours burial so I've asked for immediate, within 24 hour burial. They hold will be ready and waiting for them (they made sure to tell me that if they dug it, it would be $350..). They sell coffins for $5400 - no thanks, give me the $450 pine box, and NO I DON"T NEED A FRIGGIN VAULT for that- They want $130 or somesuch "transfer fee" (transferring from hospital or home to funeral home) and $150 or somesuch "coach fee" (use of hearse for a funeral) - We can forget using the hearse - just put the coffine and me in the back of the 4 WD pickup truck, go on back to the grave site and proceed, no hearse needed - They've got a charge for every little thing - By sticking with the most basic of basics, doing what we can ourselves - the funeral home is still going to pocket $1500 or $2000!! And for what? good grief.

At any rate, here I am in my final months, arguing with the funeral home people.

SO what's my point in writing this here. I don't know. I guess I'm still in shock that this progressed from "tiny, stage 1, CURED lung cancer" to "terminal, end stage lung cancer spread to brain, lymphnodes, etc." and guaranteed death within a precise amount of time.

My head hurts. You know how you get little visual wigglies, etc. when you have a migraine come on?? That happens with this, constantly, plus more and it's hard to get used to.

I've got my pills, I'll go take another - they help some - I've go take more cancer tea and herb supplements and get ready for church. They have told me they will do an annointing soon - Perhaps with the laying on of hands, the annointing, perhaps we will get to see God show off. Wouldn't that be cool? I've got so many tests, scans, etc. that show cancer, cancer, cancer, terrible incurable cancer - I would LOVE for doctors to see it disappear out of the blue - they couldn't possibly deny the work of God then.

I'm 42 years old. This cancer started when I was 38, they tell me - they didn't find it (*as early stage 1 curable cancer* until I was 40. In 2 years time I've gone from cured and well, to ready to die. ALL BECAUSE OF CIGARETTES.

I don't want to die. I have a 4 year old, and older children too. I want MORE children. I have stuff to do. Places to go. SALES to go to! LOL

You know what? The suffering, the pain, the aggravation, the hopelessness, the sadness - not one single cigarette is worth what I've gone through, am going through, or look to go through. Not ALL the cigarettes are worth this.

If you're sitting on the edge of the fence, not sure whether to really put the effort forth to quit smoking , or perhaps wondering about whether to go on back to smoking - don't do it. Especially not if you're a female. Females are now seeing an epidemic of lung cancer deaths, at earlier and earlier ages. we're talking 30s and 40s here.

It appears Satan is alive and well, and he laughs as we fall. There are over 400,000 of us in the U.S. that fall to the lung cancer each and every year. That's a lot of people, people!

I will continue on as normal as I possibly can - make the most of every day from here on out, I guess. If I hadn't smoked, I might have lived to be 83 or 86 like my grandmothers. Looks like I won't make even half their age.

Thanks so much, Phillip Morris & R. J. Reynolds.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Janet Wells, aka Jessicaybar, died at Thanksgiving, 2004. May she rest in peace.

 

[miss missy]

bump aw:

 

[miss missy]

anyone

 

[TigerCheer2009]

Congratulations!!!!! You've set a date! Now make babysteps. It's the easiest way to do anything!

Peace, hugs and blessings to you!

 

[miss missy]

Thanks ! I did it, I quit today! YAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please jump in for support!!!

I wanna be a NON smoker in Disney this year!!!!!!!