That my mom died of lung cancer that spread to the brain. The saddest part aside from her death was that they had gotten all the lung cancer out and she was on her way to recovery when they thought she had a stroke , turns out it had spread to her brain.
She was diagnosed the with lung cancer in February of 2001 she waited to tell all of us kids until April so she would have all the information. When she was going through treatment they told her that she would probably only live for about 2 years. That was devastating.
She lived in Iowa and I live in Virginia I got to go spend time with her twice once right after she was diagnosed and right before she died. I talked to her almost every day and that has been one of the hardest things, like one poster said before ,I was doing something about 2 months after she died and went to call her but I couldn't and I got hysterical.
I used to call her and my step dads number when i knew he wasn't home so I could hear her voice one more time. It bothers me that she will never truly know her grandchildren my youngest was 10 months old when she died, but she at least got to see him .
The day she died I was in my car backing out of the driveway when my husband said your mom wants to talk to you and I rememeber telling him I would call her when I got back from getting groceries, he went back in the house and I started to back out again and then he came running to the car as I was in the street to tell me she was gone and i didn't understand him at first then it sunk in all i could do was scream, I never got the chance to truly say goodbye to her and it still hurts, I know she loved me and I know she knows I love her but it Was/is very hard.
She loved country music and afterwards I couldn't listen to it at all , everytime I tried I would cry because inevitably one of her songs would come on and it's hard to drive if you can't see.
One of her favorites was Lorrie Morgans "Something in Red" , now i listen every now and then and it has gotten a tiny bit better, but not much,my heart still hurts a lot , I did start talking to her ( no I am not insane i just talk to the air and so far nothing has answered back, which is good cause I'd probably pee my pants)
I feel like she is watching over us and that good. Sorry I was all over with this but it still feels like it was last year not 6 years. I have hope that it will get easier with time.