Why is the R word socially acceptable?

EpcotBill

DIS Veteran
Joined
Mar 13, 2001
As a parent of a child with cognitive disabilities this is extremely offensive to me. I thought about responding to the post but I'll probably end up looking like the bad guy if I do. I'm so sick of people using the R word like there's no problem with it. People with disabilities are the last minority that it's socially acceptable to make fun of and pick on. Sorry, I had to vent a little. I figured people on this forum would understand. I'll stop now before I get myself in trouble.

Here's a link to the offensive post;
http://www.disboards.com/showpost.php?p=32588408&postcount=38

Here's the content if you don't feel like clicking;
"Well, If you are a retard like me, you go into the closet and pull out the old mugs. Oh yeah, and a measuring glass. The YOAMD mugs hold 16 oz. The Celabrate Now mugs hold the same. Out come the classic fat boy mugs, older still. What a surprise when 16 oz. spills over the top. Guessing them for 14 oz., probably 12 oz. with a cover. What's the big deal? Go back and get more.............."
 
I totally understand and sympathize with you, I really wish the day will come where the "R" word becomes like the "N" word - totally unacceptable in all situations. Most folks do not understand unless they are affected with a cognitive delay or a loved one has a cognitive delay, they just do not think.
 
It is still used (acceptably) as a medical term, but used as an insult is never acceptable.
I have heard it used on TV shows and in movies, which is where people are picking up on the unacceptable use of it. Unless it gets removed from those places (where young people hear it and think it's cool to use), we will continue to hear it.
 
i work with children with developmental delays and the dr's still use this term.
I FEEL THERE IS NO NEED TOUSE THIS VERY DATED TERM but it is still being used. I always repeat what they say to me put put in "a child with a developmental delay" where they have used R CHILD. CHILD FIRST DISABILITY SECOND!!!

I am so sorry people use this it is a horrible term.

I am an advate for children and try to educate people as much as possible...but when it comes to dr's it is acceptable??:confused3
 
Special Olympics currently has a campaign to eliminate the "R" word. Maybe you could just PM the person and politely explain how offensive that term can be. I'm sure they are not meaning to offend.
 
Treehugnmama,

I love your individual first, description second, it really keep in perspective what is important.

I have to agree that even as a clinical term “r” is very dated and not even clinically precise with our better understanding of neurovariations, differentials, delays or impairments provide much better clinical understanding of the underlying issues. With a clinicians I always figure it is a good indicator if the person has not kept up with the current state of the art or who cannot take the time to really understand the individuals they are commenting about.

bookwormde
 
i work with children with developmental delays and the dr's still use this term.
I FEEL THERE IS NO NEED TOUSE THIS VERY DATED TERM but it is still being used. I always repeat what they say to me put put in "a child with a developmental delay" where they have used R CHILD. CHILD FIRST DISABILITY SECOND!!!

I am so sorry people use this it is a horrible term.

I am an advate for children and try to educate people as much as possible...but when it comes to dr's it is acceptable??:confused3
NOTE: IN SAYING IT IS STILL AN ACCEPTABLE MEDICAL TERM, I AM NOT SAYING THAT I ADVOCATE USING THE TERM.
I will say though that the term itself did not start out as a derogatory term; it became a derogatory term when people started using it as an insult.
The same thing happens when the word "Spaz" or "Spastic" is also used in a derogatory way to mean clumsy or hyperactive. People with spasticity were assumed to have a develpmental disability, so it also comes to mean stupidity when used as an insult. Even though people may use it in a negative way, it continues to also have the original medical meaning, which is stiff and jerky movement due to increased muscle tone.

Mental Retardation does continue to be used in the medical field because it is still listed in the DRG (Diagnosis Related Group) as a valid diagnosis. As a diagnosis with a specific definition (which has to do with level of achievement on IQ testing and limitations in performance of daily living), it does fit the condition some people have and it is used a part of the coding for payment. If the correct code is not used, the correct payment is not made. As the article mentioned, the diagnosis code will probably be changed in the future; the DRG will remain, but with a different name.
I think in the past, the IQ was really considered the 'limit' of what someone was capable of achieving. Now, it is looked at more as the 'limit' of what the person administering the test is capable of measuring. And, there is much more understanding that some conditions (like being non-verbal or being on the autism spectrum) may limit how the person is able to be tested and the score, rather than actually being a measure of their intelligence.
I would not consider a medical person to be outdated, uncaring or uninformed if they use it as a diagnosis because it is still a recognized diagnosis, just like spasticity. In that situation, it has a specific definition (although it still should be used in a 'person first' way). Some doctors/professionals have incorrectly used the term outside of that specific definition and there are conditions that are included in that diagnosis that now also have a more specific definition (like autism).
Developmental Disability is a more general 'umbrella term' that includes many different diagnoses; like autism, cerebral palsy, Down Syndrome. Someone with a diagnosis of one of those conditions may also have a functional diagnosis of Mental Retardation (under the current name for the functional diagnosis).

The term is also still in some state laws as a diagnosis that is needed to qualify for some services. Until those laws change, the diagnosis has to remain, although many places as pairing it with something else, like "person with an intellectual disability" or "person with a developmental disability".

Ironically, when mental retardation began to be used as an term, it was the replace the terms idiot, imbecile and moron, which were considered to be offensive. Many organizations (like ARC) took the new term as part of their name.
The changing of terms is fairly recent:
It was not until 1992 that the ARC changed its name from the Association for Retarded Citizens and the term 'mental retardation' was not removed from ARC's mission statement until 2005.
In many areas QMRP (Qualified Mental Retardation Professionals) are the Case Managers for Care of people with Developmental Disabilities. Some states, like Illinois in this recent (6/15/09) article, are changing the name, but this is a recent development in most places. The article has a good explanation about why the term continues to be used and sort of the controversy surrounding it:
QUOTE FROM ARTICLE:
Although "mental retardation" remains a recognized diagnostic term, its use has taken on many negative connotations. The term is now viewed by many self-advocates and disability professionals as disrespectful and derogatory. In recent years, the Division of Developmental Disabilities has made efforts to replace the label "mental retardation" with more general "developmental disability" terminology. However, the continued use of "Qualified Mental Retardation Professional" or "QMRP" has remained, at least partially, because of the prevalent use of that language within the federal Medicaid requirements.

The Division of Developmental Disabilities will begin the process to replace the use of "QMRP" with "Qualified Support Professional" or "QSP" in all of its rules, regulations, training materials and other oral and written communications. It is the Division's belief that this new terminology is more respectful to persons with intellectual disabilities and better encompasses the expanding role of professionals serving persons with developmental disabilities in Illinois. Provider agencies and others are encouraged to begin implementation of similar terminology changes.

Until such time that the language conversion is fully completed, "QSP" and "QMRP" will be considered comparable terms. Additionally, it is understood that materials from the federal Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services will continue to refer to QMRPs until such time that replacement language is adopted by that entity.
END QUOTE
Special Olympics currently has a campaign to eliminate the "R" word. Maybe you could just PM the person and politely explain how offensive that term can be. I'm sure they are not meaning to offend.
::yes::
The Special Olympics Campaign is really great. They are trying to educate people on why the word should not be used and how hurtful it can be. Trying to get people to think about what they say is what will prevent the next 'r' word from starting.
Also important is complaining when people are using the 'r' word for comedy. I have turned off Saturday Night Live and other TV shows and made complaints when they use the 'r' word for comedy. That is not acceptable to do, but it's the only way many young people have ever heard the word used. I was surprised when I did a google search and found over 20 MILLION hits for just one form of the word (a form that is used very derogatorily). There are only 5.5 million hits for the form of the term that is used for medical purposes.
That's the huge problem that I think the Special Olympics campaign is aimed at.

I am going to move this thread to the disABILITIES Community Board, which is more about general subjects.

And, in case anyone thinks I am a professional 'defending' a term that I like, I am a parent of a child with developmental disabilities. I cried with the thought that the 'r' word could ever be applied to her. She can't talk and can't respond well to testing. She just refuses to co-operate with testing, so even if tests existed for individuals who are non-verbal and can't always accurately point, she would still not be testable. Luckily, we have had caring individuals who have worked with her as a thinking, caring person with feelings, not just a diagnosis (as well as some who always used 'people first' language who were not caring and saw her as a person with Developmental Disabilities).
 
I agree 100% w/ y'all; I would also say that we are advocates for our children and others in the community of those living with disabilities 24/7. I wouldn't miss an opportunity to potentially educate although I try to do it with gentleness. If at that point they want to continue being rude, I try to let it go for a while. Sometimes someone says or does things, though because they don't realize it is wrong or offensive.
 
Informative and excellent comments! Although I do not use the word in a negative way, I have heard it used that way and not thought twice about it. I think now I will correct or 'stand up' and say something. I have an autistic nephew and I would see read if I heard someone call him that. Thanks for the info.
 
I object to the term being used as an insult, like the quote in my original post. I know there are uses for the word that are not to insult or get a laugh from ignorant people.

As was mentioned earlier Hollywood has a lot to do with this problem. Most adult comedies these days use it freely as an insult.

When I hear teens and 20somethings getting such a big kick out of calling someone a "retard" I just hope that they are never put in a position to have to care for one of those "retards". They won't think it's so funny then.
 
I teach 11 and 12 y/o and sometimes they use that word. When I stop them and ask them what it means, they have no idea. When I explain what the term refers to and how it is hurtful to use it, they are quickly apologetic and don't use the term anymore (at least where I can hear them). It was surprising to me that kids use this term and honestly don't understand that there are some people with mental difficulties that the word was meant to describe.
 
I teach 11 and 12 y/o and sometimes they use that word. When I stop them and ask them what it means, they have no idea. When I explain what the term refers to and how it is hurtful to use it, they are quickly apologetic and don't use the term anymore (at least where I can hear them). It was surprising to me that kids use this term and honestly don't understand that there are some people with mental difficulties that the word was meant to describe.
::yes::
they are the kids that hear it on TV and start using it because they have heard it. All they know us that the 'cool' people on TV or movies are using it, so it must be 'cool'.
Those are the kids who would react well to the Special Olympics campaign that Eeyore's Butterfly mentioned and I linked to in a previous post.
 
The only appropriate use I can think of for the term 'retard' is in a scientific (not medical) setting where a process is being slowed down - flame retardant, etc. I can't believe the medical community still uses the word.

Can't break confidentiality laws here, but I've been amazed by the cruel nicknames some kids come up with, even in high school. I feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall when I explain to the kids how inappropriate it is to call someone a shortened version of retard or cripple! It's in our school handbook listed under bullying and verbal abuse, so I get to pull out my copy and read it to them in class.

Is it Adam Sandler's idea of funny to use these words? Can we send some karma his way?
 
I teach in a special ed class in a public school, and I won't allow students to use that word. I explain that it is used incorrectly, as a slur, and is not appropriate.

The saddest time was one year when one of the students said that was what his dad called him when he messed up!
 
The only appropriate use I can think of for the term 'retard' is in a scientific (not medical) setting where a process is being slowed down - flame retardant, etc. I can't believe the medical community still uses the word.
It would never be used in a medical setting just as the single word. Only as 'mental retardation' or the initials 'MR' as part of a diagnosis. Since for coding purposes, the term has to be used, it needs to be in charts so that the person coding the record for payment will be able to code it correctly. That is mostly what the term is used for in medical fields.Motet medical people would not use the term in talking to patients these days.
As I pointed out earlier, mental retardation was originally introduced to replace the socially unacceptable terms of imbicile, idiot and moron. Those were the actual diagnostic terms that referred to the different score on IQ testing that are listed as mild mental retardation, moderate mental retardation and profound mental retardation listed in one of the links in my long post. I know those terms ate still used as insults and that few people know what the original use was. (I have heard people use those terms about themselves when they do something they can't believe they did, so even the very negative meanings that led to those words not being used are no longer around).
I teach in a special ed class in a public school, and I won't allow students to use that word. I explain that it is used incorrectly, as a slur, and is not appropriate.

The saddest time was one year when one of the students said that was what his dad called him when he messed up!

That is really sad!
 
Today is the worst day of my life but I had to reply to this issue anyway. Retard is a noun while mentally retarded is an adjuctive (so to speak). Currently we need to use the MR label appropriately to get treatment/therapy for our kids. The term doesn't really bother me as long as it isn't being used as a joke or insult but I do understand why it can be so offensive. I have found the term developmentally delayed to be inadequate but do agree that perhaps cognitive disability, intellectual disability or something to that effect would be more appropriate. As to arguing about this on a non-disability thread, you will be flamed for sure and accused of being hypersensitive (been there, done that). The important thing to remember is that you may change a few minds and every step helps. Karen
 
Today is the worst day of my life but I had to reply to this issue anyway. Retard is a noun while mentally retarded is an adjuctive (so to speak). Currently we need to use the MR label appropriately to get treatment/therapy for our kids. The term doesn't really bother me as long as it isn't being used as a joke or insult but I do understand why it can be so offensive. I have found the term developmentally delayed to be inadequate but do agree that perhaps cognitive disability, intellectual disability or something to that effect would be more appropriate. As to arguing about this on a non-disability thread, you will be flamed for sure and accused of being hypersensitive (been there, done that). The important thing to remember is that you may change a few minds and every step helps. Karen

Prayers that things will get better for you!
 
I agree it is very offensive but mostly because of its slang usuage. Strangely enough my teenage daughter has used this term on and off, mostly because she has heard it from friends, and I explained that it is very offensive, especially as she has a sibling with an MR diagnosis. She looked at me and said Lukes not retarded. At 16 she really didnt know what the word meant, she thought she was calling the kids action stupid. I tell you this because I dont really think teenagers realize that they are being offensive. I think it is up to families like ours to educate.
 
I thought I posted a reply to this thread but I can not find my response. I guess I offended someone with my question and post? :confused3

Insults are always hurtful. I am sorry you were hurt.
 

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