I am sorry you are going through this. I would be very hurt.
At this point, I guess I would be done with it and let them make all the changes - you have worked hard enough. Next time, don't go out of your way.
Again, many .
What are they playing at? Its very late in the day to be changing reception venues!
Anyway, I would be absolutely furious and very hurt, and I would probably let them know exactly how I felt! I'd wash my hands of the whole project and let them get on with it, its their loss. You did your best.
CarolAnn.
personally, I would tell them as nice as possible how you have extended yourself out of LOVE to make their day go as smooth as possible. I don't think I would change it at this last minute when you have obviously put your heart and soul into this - asking nothing in return.
if they still decide to make the change, let the SIL who found the new place arrange to have everything taken care of, explain the situation as best to the dance studio owner and leave it be.
I would be very hurt and very put out. However, their wedding is this Saturday. I think it's way too late in the game to make this huge a change but the decision is ultimately theirs. I just wouldn't go out of my way at all at this point if they change venues.
just my opinion ... but I do feel very badly for you...
Michelle
Man I feel really bad for you!!
Well it seems like there are a few people who dont appreciate you so at this point I would wash my hands of it & tell SIL "its all yours" and hand her the list of changes needed to be done cause she decided to play wedding planner!
again I am SO SORRY that this is happening to you & you can bet if you did this for me....i would have been thanking you & hugging you all the time & acknowledging your hard work by halting SIL
Chin up & keep us posted
take a deep breath, stay FAR away from all the last minute planning since you have most definitely done your part!, go to the wedding Saturday, give your niece a huge hug and stick to your guns not to help where this SIL is involved!
I've learned many things in life through our own trials, tribulations and tragedies but the most important is: you cannot go back in time. do not waste time playing the what-if game. take what you've learned from this life lesson and apply if ever needed. oh and always feel free to come here and vent, storm, cry, question. we've all been there in one way or another and this group is incredibly giving!
Michelle
That is mild compared to the things I said last night! I offered to buy my BIL a couple of choke collars for my SIL because she has started a fight with the family every day since she came into town. I don't understand what has to be going on in her head to make her think that her behavior is acceptable. My husband said that he was really embarrassed at the way she is acting.
Well I have about 200 seed packets, 400 mini wrapped Hershey's, 20 full-sized wrapped Hershey's, 200 decorated favor bags, a photo guest book and 175 printed & tied programs with their monogram on it. I am sure I could fix it up for you.
My husband just called to say that he talked to the groom and the groom is doing some major apologizing today. I believe that his mom (a corporate event planner) is picking up the pieces to try to salvage what is left of the reception.
My DH also told him that I would not be having anything further to do with the wedding or the reception, as far as working or organizing. We will be there for the rehearsal and wedding because my daughter is in it. But otherwise until I get to the point of not feeling so upset we wouldn't be around much the next few days.
This evening DH is taking all of the stuff I have over to my MIL's for them to pick up. Including all of the food for the reception. I hope I don't sound childish when I say that I am not volunteering any of my serving pieces, plates, platters, or utensils. I am just showing up to the wedding to see my child.
BIG HUGS coming at ya! It sounds like your SIL just steamrolled over everything and the bride & groom didn't want a fight. I mean, 4 days before the big day I can't imagine trying to fight someone on a venue location I'd probably do the same as they did and throw int he towel cause at that point I think my stress level will be up to here! I think the whole thing could have been handled better, yes. But the groom is TRYING to make amends with you and you should let him. Even if it hurts. Because at this point in time an unaccepted apology is just one more thing hanging over their heads that they don't need. So hear him out and accept his apology and then just explain that you are exhausted from what you had done before everything got changed and you cannot help anywhere. It's a perfect excuse and you don't have to go into detail about hurt feelings or anything at that point intime. And at the wedding show up, smile, try to enjoy yourself, and take along a muzzle for your SIL!
So very sad and inconsiderate.
I hope everything got handed off and now you can enjoy the wedding as a guest and mom of a member of the bridal party.
How old is your daughter?
Just think how much you can now enjoy the reception and not have to worry one little bit about things going wrong.
Thanks for the advice. I will seriously think about everything you said.
The problem I am having is that there were two other nieces present last night when he was trying to call me. He was trying to make amends last night in the hopes that I would still take care of the reception and food. The owner of the second studio (who my husband and I know well) was instructed to talk with me that I was still handling the reception. He told the same thing to my MIL and my friend Michelle this morning.
If he was sincerely wanting to make amends because he feels bad about how they handled it I might be more willing. But to apologize so that I would still do the food is unacceptable.
I don't know. Maybe I am being petty on that point.