Am I justified in thinking this is ridiculous, or am I the ridiculous one

[DisneyHardin]

People here never hesitate to give their honest opinion about things, so I want to see what you all think.

My nephew is 23 and just finished a Master's Program. He went straight to the Master's Program when he finished his Bachelors 2 years ago. His actual graduation was last week, but in a couple weeks, my Brother and SIL are throwing a huge graduation party for him at my parent's house. We had a huge graduation party when he graduated high school and then another when he graduated college. I think this huge party for finishing a Master's Program is ridiculous and just a gift grab. Never in my entire life, have I been invited to a party for getting a Master's before. When I got my Master's degree about 15 years ago, no one did anything.

Whose being ridiculous here? My brother for having this huge party or me for thinking it's just a gift grab? I'm sure part of me is jealous that no one acknowledged my Master's degree, but then again, I didn't really expect anything.

**Edited to add - I am planning to go to the party and will give him a card with money.

 

[brockash]

People here never hesitate to give their honest opinion about things, so I want to see what you all think.

My nephew is 23 and just finished a Master's Program. He went straight to the Master's Program when he finished his Bachelors 2 years ago. His actual graduation was last week, but in a couple weeks, my Brother and SIL are throwing a huge graduation party for him at my parent's house. We had a huge graduation party when he graduated high school and then another when he graduated college. I think this huge party for finishing a Master's Program is ridiculous and just a gift grab. Never in my entire life, have I been invited to a party for getting a Master's before. When I got my Master's degree about 15 years ago, no one did anything.

Whose being ridiculous here? My brother for having this huge party or me for thinking it's just a gift grab? I'm sure part of me is jealous that no one acknowledged my Master's degree, but then again, I didn't really expect anything.

I mean I didn't have a party for my BA or Masters, but I also think ppl. are just different and wouldn't think much of it. You don't have to go, nor do you have to get him a gift. If I were in your shoes; I'd get him a gift, but that's just me. My sister's family has big get togethers/parties for everyones bday (adults, kids, all). We do not. It's just different, no right or wrong. Honestly a large part of why we don't throw lots of parties is due to the cost, so while you may think it's a gift grab; honestly they're probably spending a good amount just to throw the get together.

 

[Southernmiss]

People here never hesitate to give their honest opinion about things, so I want to see what you all think.

My nephew is 23 and just finished a Master's Program. He went straight to the Master's Program when he finished his Bachelors 2 years ago. His actual graduation was last week, but in a couple weeks, my Brother and SIL are throwing a huge graduation party for him at my parent's house. We had a huge graduation party when he graduated high school and then another when he graduated college. I think this huge party for finishing a Master's Program is ridiculous and just a gift grab. Never in my entire life, have I been invited to a party for getting a Master's before. When I got my Master's degree about 15 years ago, no one did anything.

Whose being ridiculous here? My brother for having this huge party or me for thinking it's just a gift grab? I'm sure part of me is jealous that no one acknowledged my Master's degree, but then again, I didn't really expect anything.

Some people just like to throw parties.

We didn't have a party when our oldest got his Master's. He got married that year and we had a big rehearsal dinner for them.

2nd son got a doctorate last year. We had a nice extended family dinner for him.

A sil has big birthday parties for her kids and grand kids. We go, but never had big bday parties for our kids.

It's your choice if you want to recognize the accomplishment or go.

 

[DisneyHardin]

I mean I didn't have a party for my BA or Masters, but I also think ppl. are just different and wouldn't think much of it. You don't have to go, nor do you have to get him a gift. If I were in your shoes; I'd get him a gift, but that's just me. My sister's family has big get togethers/parties for everyones bday (adults, kids, all). We do not. It's just different, no right or wrong. Honestly a large part of why we don't throw lots of parties is due to the cost, so while you may think it's a gift grab; honestly they're probably spending a good amount just to throw the get together.

I'll definitely go and will definitely give him a card with money, I will just do it while rolling my eyes
I don't know for sure, but I would guess that my parents will probably be footing the bill for a good part of the food and drinks, so only some of it will come out of DB and SIL's pocket.

 

[Marrila]

People can throw a party. Guests can decide to go or not.
If I was invited I'd go and celebrate his accomplishment.

 

[BrianL]

I would say a party is appropriate, but gifts are not. I mean, the kid has a Masters now - he's gonna do all right most likely (at least he is well set up to). Typically those graduation gifts are to help young people starting out. That's really what wedding gifts are for too. It's one thing when a couple of 20 year olds were getting married and setting up their first house together - now it's kind of weird because most people getting married already have all that stuff. If anything they need to get rid of one person's set of things!

 

[darnheather]

I think it is lovely that his parents are celebrating his accomplishments. If you don't want to give a gift, give him a card with a handwritten message.

 

[jdb in AZ]

I think a master's degree is more of an accomplishment that graduating from high school or getting a bachelor's degree. Definitely something to celebrate.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I also think people are so glad to be able to have parties again, that any excuse is a good one.

 

[Smugpugmug]

A Master's degree is an accomplishment worthy of some sort of celebration. Some people also enjoy throwing parties and putting a lot of money into making them happen. Last year my neighbors threw a party for their son graduating college and it didn't look cheap to set up (they rented a tent with tables, got catered food, etc.). I gave him a card with some money in it. I think a gift like that would be very appreciated. Anything bigger than that is a little much.

IMO a master's degree is more of an accomplishment than those graduation ceremonies for graduating preschool and the 5th grade.

 

[tvguy]

I am not aware of anyone in my family throwing a Graduation Party for any Graduation. We went out to lunch after my daughter's College graduation ceremony, but no party.
Graduations are out of hand IMHO. Kindergarten, 6th Grade and 8th Grade graduation? A bit much.

 

[DisneyHardin]

Thanks everyone for your input - sounds like the consensus is that I am the one being ridiculous. I guess I'm letting the jealousy of my Master's degree being ignored keep me from being excited about this party.

 

[john7994]

Thanks everyone for your input - sounds like the consensus is that I am the one being ridiculous. I guess I'm letting the jealousy of my Master's degree being ignored keep me from being excited about this party.

Well .. a belated congratulations and a sincere - Well Done You!

 

[QueenIsabella]

When my DD27 got her masters last year, we didn't even go to the ceremony. I don't know if SHE did! And we didn't give her anything specific, although we did cover her costs to go on a family blow-out vacation to Hawaii, for her and her boyfriend.

My husband's brother's family is like the OP's BIL/SIL (whoever it is--parents of the nephew). A celebration for everything, gifts expected. I found it annoying--SIL was the only of her siblings to have children, so much was made and the spinster aunts and grandparents were thrilled to bring gifts. My family didn't do things that way, and I had 4 kids of my own. In my big, Italian family, we had rules about gift-giving--you only "got" from your godparents. Otherwise, it would have been mayhem--my dad was 1 of 7, my mom 1 of 6.

So, I feel you. I would still go, bring a card (money optional, but if he's starting out on his own, appreciated), and enjoy the food and drink. And roll my eyes behind their backs. But, express your pride for the nephew.

 

[nw6675]

Thanks everyone for your input - sounds like the consensus is that I am the one being ridiculous. I guess I'm letting the jealousy of my Master's degree being ignored keep me from being excited about this party.

At least nobody is rolling their eyes or talking about you

Edited out the part about nobody throwing you a party -I missed the part about your parents.

 

[starlite_]

I am confused why you even think it's gift grabbing? Just because it's a party doesn't mean you need to bring a gift at all. Did they say guests are expected to bring gifts??

I honestly don't see why celebrating something as cool as getting a master's would be frowned upon.

The comment about your parents helping pay for the party makes me think you did want one to celebrate and didn't throw one for some reason tbh.

 

[DisneyHardin]

I am confused why you even think it's gift grabbing? Just because it's a party doesn't mean you need to bring a gift at all. Did they say guests are expected to bring gifts??

I know my brother well enough to know that a gift is expected. My thoughts on the gift thing is that they have invited some people that my nephew really has no relationship with. For example, they invited my in-laws (DH's parents) and nephew has no relationship with them, but brother knows they are the kind of people who will come and bring a big check because they are fairly wealthy.

 

[Wendy31]

I knew a family w/ 3 kids, &, as the kids grew up, graduated high school, went to college, got married, & had their own kids, they threw a party for absolutely everything -

Birthdays
High School Graduations
College Graduations
Engagements
New House
Baby Showers - for each new grandchild
Going Away Parties
Retirement Parties

And, yes, sometimes it felt a little gift-grabby.

 

[Ursula J]

It's definitely not common. I have a MA and PhD; no one in any of my graduate cohorts had any kind of party. But hey, maybe the cake will be good?

 

[mumto3girls]

I don’t think there is really a right or wrong answer here, but in my area graduation parties are common for high school—probably 75% of kids have them. I have never, however, been invited to a graduation party for college or any advanced degree. My oldest graduated from college earlier this month and I don’t expect any acknowledgment from anyone in the extended family at all.