Cat owners: I'd like your non judging feedback as to what you think I should do

[Nancyg56]

OMG....my heart was ripped out reading about this! Can u imagine that kind of life? My cat is sitting on me right now, sucking up my heat and posting on this board with me....LOL. I love my pets, they are like my children. Some people have no clue.

My heart just broke. We have no pets right now and my husband is opposed to inviting any in for a while. I have had to say goodbye, one by one, to all of them, and losing Baxter just was heartwrenching for me. He is not okay with going through that again, 6 times was enough. But when we had them, all 25 years of kitties ruling our roost, we made sure they were loved, cozy and warm. Moving their beds around to follow the sunshine, close enough to the fireplace to get the heat but not so close to get struck by a stray spark, and installing perches if there was not a piece of furniture under a window.

I recognize we all do not share the same views in regards to "proper" pet care. My kitties were strictly indoor, but my way is not the only way. My DH is at odds with how we woudl handle a dog, which he would dearly love. This ol' Country Boy thinks our little patch of Heaven is too small for a dog, and wants more room. Not me....my pooch would not be roaming anyway. But neither one of us is wrong, just differing opinions on managing pet quality of life. Locking an animal up alone in a room or chaining it outside all day to cry? To me, that is wrong and abuse. Indoor or out? Whole different discussion, and not even close to abuse.

 

[PaulaSB12]

How abou

First I will say that I've had 2 other cats... first one, then two, then just one as the other passed from old age.
They both went out and until both reached an older age I was not concered about them being outside and neither passed from a complication due to the outdoors.

Now... My current cat will be 2 in a couple of weeks.
I have had her since she was 8 weeks old.
I did not want her to go out but after she went into heat for the first time (yes she is fixed) that is all she has wanted to do.
Last year I did let start letting her out mid August. In late December she got out at night and was injured when she came in.
After the abscess she had was healed and antibiotics were done we let her back out.
She got hurt again in mid March. After that we decided not to let her out.
After 6 whole months of her not going out other than the 3 times she got out for 20 minutes each because she would be at the door every time someone walk in the house I decided in mid September to let her out again.
In the broiling 90 degree days she was a very good kitty outside. Now that it has started getting colder she is much more active outside and I swear she looks for trouble.
So now I'd like to try to keep her in. I realize its unfair to keep changing my mind but her being out makes me nervous and her being in makes me want to let her out because all she does is give really loud long meows at the door all day making it hard to listen and hard to get in and out of the house. Eventually she will leave the door to come annoy me by meowing at me and when I try to play she just runs for the door again.
She has plenty of toys and 3 different windows she can easily sit and look out of.
When I play with her and she doesn't run to the door she will play for a couple minutes and then just sit there while I attempt to play but then I get tired of tossing cat toys, wiggling stings toys on the floor, making wand toys peak a boo through her cat tunnel.... and go to do something else.
She does not have a cat tree play house thing and I wonder if that would help but it would go in the basement because there's just not room anywhere else.
I also am leaning more and more towards getting another cat hoping they will entertain each other and forget about the great outdoors.
Every cat person I know judges me for even considering letting her out but they all also have multiple cats so I feel like they can't get the rull picture of how difficult it can be.
I'm just not sure what to do at this point.
Does anyone have any non judging advice to give me?

How about building a catio? I had a cat who wanted to go out but was freaked out so I built a 3.5 metre by 3 meters covered catio that all my cats enjoy. They go out sunbath eat catnip, catch mice (yes the occasional mouse is daft enough to come in its a one-way journey. This would give your cat the outdoors and your safety concerns will be met.

 

[mom2rtk]

How abou

How about building a catio? I had a cat who wanted to go out but was freaked out so I built a 3.5 metre by 3 meters covered catio that all my cats enjoy. They go out sunbath eat catnip, catch mice (yes the occasional mouse is daft enough to come in its a one-way journey. This would give your cat the outdoors and your safety concerns will be met.

OP has pretty much nixed that idea as well:

I would not build something that extends from my house but I did consider a critter pen. However after giving it some serious thought I decided she would most likely hate being caged in even a fairly large size one. She loves to run from this side of the yard to that side of the yard so I think she'd go crazy if she was outside but not free.

BTW not that you asked about it but this just kinda reminded me of the fact that I also tried using a leash a few times and it was a definite no go and almost too tramatizing for both of us. My friend that has 3 cats had suggested that one to me.

 

[Magpie]

The little perches that hooked onto our window sills worked well for us. 25 years later, my husband is still not happy about the Velcro tape things that are still stuck to my woodwork, LOL!!! But my kitties were really happy with their lookout perches, and used them daily, following the sun or if I was outside, me throughout the day.

Frankly, I cannot understand bringing a per into the home and then refusing to compromise in order to reach an acceptable arrangement. This comment is not about the OP. I just have been following a thread on FB and the OP has a bird and a dog. They brought a kitten into the home, and have kept the poor itty bitty cooped up in a room to keep her away from the bird. Now Mom and Dad want to start using the wood stove, apparently in that room, and they cannot come up with a plan for the kitten. Mom and Dad do not wnat her roaming, do not want her in their room, do not want her approaching the bird, on and on and on....and if her FB friends cannot come up with a solution the baby will be rehomed, which the poster does not want to do. So far no one has been able to manage a compromise that will work in this house. Honestly, I would go get that kittie myself if she was on the same side of the Country I am on. Who does this? Bring a kitten in and then lock her up in a room alone?

Rehoming may be that kitty's best bet, and the sooner they do it, the better.

Despite their reputation as loners, cats are very social animals. They need companionship, whether it's human companionship or the companionship of another cat, or even a dog. A kitten who is left alone too much can become neurotic and poorly-socialized. They can get aggressive, or needy, or both. They can develop social difficulties, especially when it comes to interacting with other cats, but also with people.

Basically, young animals need nurturing and socialization. This kitten is being deprived and the longer it goes on, the worse the consequences will be.

 

[Magpie]

OP has pretty much nixed that idea as well:

Whatever the OP decides to do, she needs to be consistent about it.

If the cat isn't allowed out any more, then the cat isn't allowed out and no amount of complaining from the cat should affect that decision. And definitely no "just this once" trips out to the garden! It took one of our cats, a former stray, almost three years to stop trying to make a break for it every time we opened the front door. Consistency is key.

She shouldn't get overly invested in the cat's feelings, either. Yes, the cat has feelings and wants and desires. The OP should do as much as she can to make her home a pleasant place for the cat. But, when all's said and done, if the decision has been made, then the cat is just going to have to learn to live with it.

And the cat will! In time. Maybe a LONG time. But, eventually.

So be patient. That former stray I mentioned above? He settled down. I can open the door now and he'll just look out. He's 17 and knows where he lives.

One other thing... whenever possible, I prefer to have at least two cats in the household. Cats are social animals and, in my experience, they really don't do well psychologically when they spend too much time alone.

 

[Nancyg56]

Rehoming may be that kitty's best bet, and the sooner they do it, the better.

Despite their reputation as loners, cats are very social animals. They need companionship, whether it's human companionship or the companionship of another cat, or even a dog. A kitten who is left alone too much can become neurotic and poorly-socialized. They can get aggressive, or needy, or both. They can develop social difficulties, especially when it comes to interacting with other cats, but also with people.

Basically, young animals need nurturing and socialization. This kitten is being deprived and the longer it goes on, the worse the consequences will be.

I agree. I just do not get the OP and that mindset. Me me me

 

[ThistleMae]

My heart just broke. We have no pets right now and my husband is opposed to inviting any in for a while. I have had to say goodbye, one by one, to all of them, and losing Baxter just was heartwrenching for me. He is not okay with going through that again, 6 times was enough. But when we had them, all 25 years of kitties ruling our roost, we made sure they were loved, cozy and warm. Moving their beds around to follow the sunshine, close enough to the fireplace to get the heat but not so close to get struck by a stray spark, and installing perches if there was not a piece of furniture under a window.

I recognize we all do not share the same views in regards to "proper" pet care. My kitties were strictly indoor, but my way is not the only way. My DH is at odds with how we woudl handle a dog, which he would dearly love. This ol' Country Boy thinks our little patch of Heaven is too small for a dog, and wants more room. Not me....my pooch would not be roaming anyway. But neither one of us is wrong, just differing opinions on managing pet quality of life. Locking an animal up alone in a room or chaining it outside all day to cry? To me, that is wrong and abuse. Indoor or out? Whole different discussion, and not even close to abuse.

I hear you loud and clear! I also understand not wanting to get anymore pets after all the loses. I didn't want anymore pets after my last cat passed and I was getting close to retirement and wanted the freedom to be away from home more. Well...the universe had different plans for me. One of my clients was rehoming two kittens, 6 mos. old, whom I fell in love with. So of course, I took one of them. And then I decided she should have babies. She had three. I kept one and gave the other two to family and a friend. Well, my daughter became allergic and I got one of the babies back after 7 years! So now I have three. I love them dearly and they have interrupted my ability to travel as much as I'd like. Hence, the new plan to bring them camping with me. I just ordered the cat door, and some rugged screen. I'm working on the fencing next. I've made them some mini-quilts to lay on, they love them. I'm bringing the one chair the mother likes to claw on. The second one likes to claw carpet, so I'm going to put some up on one of the walls. The third one, is very fat and low maintenance...LOL. So I've solved a big problem about being away. Now we will have to go through the camper adjustment and the ride to the campground....2 hours. They hate the car. So my plan is to pack them up, once a week, before the trip and drive them around the neighborhood so they can get used to riding.

 

[wonder whisper]

I walk my cat on a harness when he wants a "fix" outside.

We also did this with one of our female cats, and IMHO it is the best balance between letting the cat have an outdoor experience while not putting it at the huge risks of wandering around on its own outdoors. The bottom line is the life expectancy of a cat that lives solely indoors (where in most cases these comparatively conservative animals are perfectly happy doing that) is almost twice that of ones that are allowed to roam freely outdoors.

 

[ThistleMae]

We also did this with one of our female cats, and IMHO it is the best balance between letting the cat have an outdoor experience while not putting it at the huge risks of wandering around on its own outdoors. The bottom line is the life expectancy of a cat that lives solely indoors (where in most cases these comparatively conservative animals are perfectly happy doing that) is almost twice that of ones that are allowed to roam freely outdoors.

I'm sure there are many different examples...but my last two cats, who were in and out lived to 20 and 21 years old. But....I did spend time with them outdoors and established boundaries for their excursions. It wasn't easy but it worked. They stayed right around the house, as do my three I have now. I do live in the woods and there are no car villians but they also are in every night, before dark so they are not eaten by critters.

 

[mom2rtk]

We also did this with one of our female cats, and IMHO it is the best balance between letting the cat have an outdoor experience while not putting it at the huge risks of wandering around on its own outdoors. The bottom line is the life expectancy of a cat that lives solely indoors (where in most cases these comparatively conservative animals are perfectly happy doing that) is almost twice that of ones that are allowed to roam freely outdoors.

OP already said using a leash was too traumatizing for both of them.

 

[ThistleMae]

OP already said using a leash was too traumatizing for both of them.

Yeah, my cats never liked them either. What's going on this week OP...are we still crying at the door?

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

Yeah, my cats never liked them either. What's going on this week OP...are we still crying at the door?

Of course.
And she has to spend time in the basement when people are in and out a lot in my house.

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

She was in from March 19th to September 11th and still cried at the door every day and tried to get out every day.
I think its gonna take longer than a couple weeks for her to stoop....

 

[ThistleMae]

Of course.
And she has to spend time in the basement when people are in and out a lot in my house.

Have you thought about putting fencing up in your yard? It may be an expense but well worth it.

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

Have you thought about putting fencing up in your yard? It may be an expense but well worth it.

Am I fencing the entire yard?
If not as I've said in an earlier post it would not seem fair since she loves dashing from this side of the yard to that side of the yard so to have only a small area where she really couldn't run I think she'd go crazy.
I think I rather just keep her in than feel like I am teasing her.
Its just apparently going to take more than 6 months for her to "adjust".

 

[robinb]

I just wanted to say that I feel your pain. My kitty Nikkei used to charge at full speed from two rooms away and time it to fly out the door at a dead run just as I opened it to step out.

I tried to keep him inside because he broke his leg once and also came home beaten up more than once. I would discover an oozing cat bite abscess days later. Sadly, he ended up dying from the side effects of a blood infection from a cat bite . He was the best kitty ever.

 

[ThistleMae]

Am I fencing the entire yard?
If not as I've said in an earlier post it would not seem fair since she loves dashing from this side of the yard to that side of the yard so to have only a small area where she really couldn't run I think she'd go crazy.
I think I rather just keep her in than feel like I am teasing her.
Its just apparently going to take more than 6 months for her to "adjust".

Oh....okay...hang in there then. Behavior changes do take awhile....sometimes a long while. My girls make the adjustment every year to being in all winter. We are going through it now. It just got really cold here in the mornings, 20's and we had a light snow. So, the one that loves to go out the most is not using her cat door now, she is only asking to go out front, when the sun is out. I have to open that door for her and she isn't staying out long. The other two are done with going out now, they are in for the winter. It's just so funny how they love their routines, even the summer winter ones. They will go out on the front porch in January when we have the thaw, on those cold but really sunny January days. I love my girls so much!

 

[ThistleMae]

I just wanted to say that I feel your pain. My kitty Nikkei used to charge at full speed from two rooms away and time it to fly out the door at a dead run just as I opened it to step out.

I tried to keep him inside because he broke his leg once and also came home beaten up more than once. I would discover an oozing cat bite abscess days later. Sadly, he ended up dying from the side effects of a blood infection from a cat bite . He was the best kitty ever.

Omg....so sad. I have had the same experience. I rescued a cat who was Ferrell....he kept coming to my window in the winter and one day he was beat up really bad. He let me take him in. I got him to the vet and he became the most loveable baby. He died a few years later from what the vet called cat Aides...got it from that bad beating. I am still missing him.

 

[Nancyg56]

Omg....so sad. I have had the same experience. I rescued a cat who was Ferrell....he kept coming to my window in the winter and one day he was beat up really bad. He let me take him in. I got him to the vet and he became the most loveable baby. He died a few years later from what the vet called cat Aides...got it from that bad beating. I am still missing him.

My Buster had feline aids. All my kitties were feral, all barn cats. He was so little and so sick when my husband caught him, maybe under 4 weeks old. The Vet tested him, and he tested negative. So he joined our group. Poor little thing was a sad excuse for a cat, he wanted to be a cat, He tried to be a cat. He failed miserably. LOL!!! My others finally gave up trying to ignore him and tried to teach him cat skills, LOL! This baby was a treat! HE was lactose intolerant, allergic to fleas ( he came in covered in larvae) had multiple food allergies, and tore two ACL. We did nto even know a cat had ACL tendons! LOL! When he was 13 my little butterball started losing weight so the vet ran a huge series of tests. Positive for feline aids! How could this be? They ran it again, and it was so. The vet thought it did not show up initially because he was so darn young. I miss my boy.

All my barn kitties were so sweet. Every one had a distinct personality and every one of them chose a favorite person to "belong" to. It is not true that cats love who feeds them. LOL!!!! Buster was the youngest to leave us at 13.

 

[ThistleMae]

My Buster had feline aids. All my kitties were feral, all barn cats. He was so little and so sick when my husband caught him, maybe under 4 weeks old. The Vet tested him, and he tested negative. So he joined our group. Poor little thing was a sad excuse for a cat, he wanted to be a cat, He tried to be a cat. He failed miserably. LOL!!! My others finally gave up trying to ignore him and tried to teach him cat skills, LOL! This baby was a treat! HE was lactose intolerant, allergic to fleas ( he came in covered in larvae) had multiple food allergies, and tore two ACL. We did nto even know a cat had ACL tendons! LOL! When he was 13 my little butterball started losing weight so the vet ran a huge series of tests. Positive for feline aids! How could this be? They ran it again, and it was so. The vet thought it did not show up initially because he was so darn young. I miss my boy.

All my barn kitties were so sweet. Every one had a distinct personality and every one of them chose a favorite person to "belong" to. It is not true that cats love who feeds them. LOL!!!! Buster was the youngest to leave us at 13.

Wow...that little guy had a good life because you took him in. Sooo lucky he lived till 13, that's amazing. You have a great big HEART!