pattyT said:
HELLO
have you ever heard the term - put yourself in someone elses shoes...
Okay, I am not participating in this swap but I have to open up my big mouth now. For days I've been wanting to say something, but this post put me over the edge because this is EXACTLY what I've been thinking, except not for the swap people, for Kathy.
I don't *know* Kathy, but I'm in a CJ with her and after seeing pictures of her family and reading her journalling I have a sense about her and I just know that she would never do any of the things people were speculating about - keeping them, selling them on Ebay, or just generally flaking. I knew it had to be that she was sick or someone in her family was sick or something like that.
So then she surfaced and said she was sick. And I would have been incredibly hurt too to read the things people were saying. What got me was the people who didn't back down at that point and said she still should've communicated. I just wanted to stand up and scream "STOP! Listen to yourselves. Put yourself in someone else's shoes!"
I hope that it was just the flu or something non-serious, but when someone says "hospital reports" like she said when she returned, my mind goes somewhere else. What if she got some terrible news? What if it was something really serious? So I put myself in her shoes and imagined what it would be like for me.
For those of you that say who say she should have been able to get someone to send a message, I want to let you all know something - we don't all have people that could post here for us if we were unable. The people in my life on a daily basis with access to my computer, my husband and my father, barely know how to turn the computer on, let alone email or post on a message board. I may have some friends that would know how to do so, but if I were to ask them, and try to explain how to find the site or what to do - if I were really sick they would probably say, "That can wait. Just take care of yourself first."
There's some misinformation floating around and people are basing things on that. So I took the time to read through all the posts from 11-15 on and wanted to clear a few dates up:
The swap started out late because as of 10-25 she was still waiting for people to send things. On 11-7 she posted she was sick with the flu and on 11-10 she was on bed rest. Everyone was understanding. Her last post here was on 11-16 and she said she was trying to sort things out. She did post on LP on 11-20, then neither place again until 11-30. So the difference between LP and DIS was only 4 days. Then there was computer silence for 10 days. As far as the people who posted about PM data one said that she had read one from 11-18 but not from 11-22. I can't see from all of this why anyone would say she was running around to other message boards and reading PMs all over the place. Some of you are crucifying her for a difference of 4 days - AND people here didn't start getting mad and speculatory until around 11-22, at which point she was neither place and was likely not reading any of those messages.
I'm not saying she was perfect - I can see that it was very confusing that she said they were going to be mailed or were mailed. Obviously there were some mistakes made. What I'm reacting to is the response the whole thing elicited from many of you. I don't know - this whole thing has really turned me off to these boards. Many people are being nice and understanding. And then some people (who aren't even involved in the swap) are being super judgemental and critical. It would certainly make me think twice about participating in anything here.
Kathy, I hope you are feeling better. I hope this all gets put behind everyone soon.