Class of 2022- High School Parents

[mom2rtk]

Hi everyone! Just checking in. How is everyone doing? We moved our daughter in on Monday and stuck around for a couple of days. We leave the college town today and head back to my mom’s for a few more days. College girl is doing well. She likes her roommate and is keeping busy with all the first week events. I,on the other hand, have been doing a lot of ugly crying this morning. My husband just keeps rubbing my shoulder. He has no idea what to do to comfort me. Lol I hold it in while around my daughter and let it all out at the Airbnb. She is our first out of 4 to leave the nest.

Hope everyone is having safe and smooth transitions. Sending positive vibes.

I'm flashing back to dropping our first away from home college student 9 years ago. It was a lot.

If it helps any, he graduated, got a job 7 hours away, then another one only 2 hours away, and is now back sleeping on our sofa saving some money for a house after getting a new job back in town.

I promise it gets easier. And once she starts settling in and having success, your pride will take over and it will be fine.

 

[Skywalker3]

Driving now to campus for move in . About a 2 hour drive, but 3 w the time change to eastern . Van is Packed to the gills.still can’t believe it’s happening !

 

[Day-al]

We just arrived at Coronado Springs after a very long 3 day drive from Maine! Move-in day is Sunday. In the meantime, I will melt here in the parks! But we’re having fun!!

 

[design_mom]

Today was the first day of classes (one-week post-move in.)

So far, things seem to be going reasonably well. Today she only had two classes, so it's kind of an easy entry. And she's met a couple of new friends. (She met one at the library to study this afternoon and had dinner with her new friend group.) She said "Today was a good day."

Her roommate situation is beyond odd... and not what I would have hoped. (Her suite-mates are upper classmen and friends... and they're... ignoring her. As in, she barely sees them, hardly talks to them, etc. But at least they are not outwardly hostile.

 

[JaxDad]

We helped our son move into his UF dorm on Saturday. It all went very well and was exciting and fun, until it was time to leave. That was even more emotional than I anticipated. He’s in a great situation, and I know he’ll do well, but I’m glad he ended up at a school close to home!

 

[mefordis]

My daughter is doing great. She has a very nice 1 bedroom apt about an 18 min walk from her classes. It's very high security and great maintenance staff so I don't have to worry about the living situation, at least. She is really enjoying her classes so far and has met a lot of people in her major. So far things are great.

Now I get to go through 8 - 12 grades again with my youngest, and last one at home. Lucky me. Can't wait. I wish I could push a button and have her going straight to college like her sister. I love having her at home but these years for her older sister were brutal socially, and I expect nothing better with her. Praying it is better, though.

 

[design_mom]

So... now that everyone's a month or more into the school year, how's it going...

I wish I had better news to report. My daughter's not having a great time of it. On our Facetime call this weekend, she said "I feel like I'm 'over' this whole college thing, and it's only been a month."

It's not HORRIBLE. It's just not good. She claims she has no friends, but when I asked her to walk through her week, it sounds like she does quite a bit of stuff with various people. She's not alone/isolated, but she's lacking a "best friend" to check in with daily, make plans with, etc. (Her boyfriend used to be that person... but she only gets to talk with him once a week, and briefly at that. I think that's been harder than she anticipated.)

She met a group of girls during welcome week that she hung out with for the first few weeks. But there was some sort of falling out there. Sigh. From the sound of it, I didn't think this group sounded like they were a super-great fit anyway... but it still hurts. In good news, her upperclassmen roommates (who were BFFs before this year) have been including her in some things... so that's at least nice. The first few weeks, they kind of kept to themselves.

Classes are harder than she thought (and she doesn't like one of her teachers), but she's doing reasonably well. She's had at least one test in all classes, and two tests in a few. She's holding her own with decent grades. Not as high as she'd hoped... but decent.

Last week, something pretty traumatic happened. A stolen car ran a red light and hit two 18-year-olds who were crossing the street in the crosswalk right outside DD's dorm room. She did not see the actual impact, but heard the crash and the screaming and she saw the immediate aftermath. One girl died and the other is still hospitalized. After hitting the pedestrians, the car hit a tree and the suspects fled on foot. (I believe they've caught at least 2... and they were juveniles.) She says she's doing OK after witnessing it (and pointed out that if she's going to be a nurse, she's probably going to see worse eventually). But, I am confident that she had not seen anything like that before... and it had to be at least somewhat traumatic. (Her roommate did not go to class the next day because she was so upset.)

Then today, her Instagram got hacked. Someone posted a bunch of get-quick-rich-scheme stuff about Bitcoin. She says she can't log into her account. They've apparently changed her password and e-mail address. She's trying to work with Instagram to get it back, but... again... just another hassle she doesn't need.

This weekend is her Fall Break so she's going to come home for it. (It's really only Monday, but she's done with class at 9am Friday, so it's almost 4 days.) I will be glad to have her home.

I wish this was easier (on both of us!) It's hard when they're away and unhappy.

 

[slo]

So... now that everyone's a month or more into the school year, how's it going...

I wish I had better news to report. My daughter's not having a great time of it. On our Facetime call this weekend, she said "I feel like I'm 'over' this whole college thing, and it's only been a month."

It's not HORRIBLE. It's just not good. She claims she has no friends, but when I asked her to walk through her week, it sounds like she does quite a bit of stuff with various people. She's not alone/isolated, but she's lacking a "best friend" to check in with daily, make plans with, etc. (Her boyfriend used to be that person... but she only gets to talk with him once a week, and briefly at that. I think that's been harder than she anticipated.)

She met a group of girls during welcome week that she hung out with for the first few weeks. But there was some sort of falling out there. Sigh. From the sound of it, I didn't think this group sounded like they were a super-great fit anyway... but it still hurts. In good news, her upperclassmen roommates (who were BFFs before this year) have been including her in some things... so that's at least nice. The first few weeks, they kind of kept to themselves.

Classes are harder than she thought (and she doesn't like one of her teachers), but she's doing reasonably well. She's had at least one test in all classes, and two tests in a few. She's holding her own with decent grades. Not as high as she'd hoped... but decent.

Last week, something pretty traumatic happened. A stolen car ran a red light and hit two 18-year-olds who were crossing the street in the crosswalk right outside DD's dorm room. She did not see the actual impact, but heard the crash and the screaming and she saw the immediate aftermath. One girl died and the other is still hospitalized. After hitting the pedestrians, the car hit a tree and the suspects fled on foot. (I believe they've caught at least 2... and they were juveniles.) She says she's doing OK after witnessing it (and pointed out that if she's going to be a nurse, she's probably going to see worse eventually). But, I am confident that she had not seen anything like that before... and it had to be at least somewhat traumatic. (Her roommate did not go to class the next day because she was so upset.)

Then today, her Instagram got hacked. Someone posted a bunch of get-quick-rich-scheme stuff about Bitcoin. She says she can't log into her account. They've apparently changed her password and e-mail address. She's trying to work with Instagram to get it back, but... again... just another hassle she doesn't need.

This weekend is her Fall Break so she's going to come home for it. (It's really only Monday, but she's done with class at 9am Friday, so it's almost 4 days.) I will be glad to have her home.

I wish this was easier (on both of us!) It's hard when they're away and unhappy.

I am so very sorry to hear about this.
Hopefully the fall break will help her decompress for awhile. She can sleep in her own bed and sleep in without interruptions, be with her family in her own home - this will be good medicine for her.
I hope everything gets better for her soon. Please keep us updated

 

[momz]

So... now that everyone's a month or more into the school year, how's it going...

I wish I had better news to report. My daughter's not having a great time of it. On our Facetime call this weekend, she said "I feel like I'm 'over' this whole college thing, and it's only been a month."

It's not HORRIBLE. It's just not good. She claims she has no friends, but when I asked her to walk through her week, it sounds like she does quite a bit of stuff with various people. She's not alone/isolated, but she's lacking a "best friend" to check in with daily, make plans with, etc. (Her boyfriend used to be that person... but she only gets to talk with him once a week, and briefly at that. I think that's been harder than she anticipated.)

She met a group of girls during welcome week that she hung out with for the first few weeks. But there was some sort of falling out there. Sigh. From the sound of it, I didn't think this group sounded like they were a super-great fit anyway... but it still hurts. In good news, her upperclassmen roommates (who were BFFs before this year) have been including her in some things... so that's at least nice. The first few weeks, they kind of kept to themselves.

Classes are harder than she thought (and she doesn't like one of her teachers), but she's doing reasonably well. She's had at least one test in all classes, and two tests in a few. She's holding her own with decent grades. Not as high as she'd hoped... but decent.

Last week, something pretty traumatic happened. A stolen car ran a red light and hit two 18-year-olds who were crossing the street in the crosswalk right outside DD's dorm room. She did not see the actual impact, but heard the crash and the screaming and she saw the immediate aftermath. One girl died and the other is still hospitalized. After hitting the pedestrians, the car hit a tree and the suspects fled on foot. (I believe they've caught at least 2... and they were juveniles.) She says she's doing OK after witnessing it (and pointed out that if she's going to be a nurse, she's probably going to see worse eventually). But, I am confident that she had not seen anything like that before... and it had to be at least somewhat traumatic. (Her roommate did not go to class the next day because she was so upset.)

Then today, her Instagram got hacked. Someone posted a bunch of get-quick-rich-scheme stuff about Bitcoin. She says she can't log into her account. They've apparently changed her password and e-mail address. She's trying to work with Instagram to get it back, but... again... just another hassle she doesn't need.

This weekend is her Fall Break so she's going to come home for it. (It's really only Monday, but she's done with class at 9am Friday, so it's almost 4 days.) I will be glad to have her home.

I wish this was easier (on both of us!) It's hard when they're away and unhappy.

I am so sorry she is struggling. My son is too. I keep telling myself that he missed a lot of experiences during the covid school disruptions and he has some social lessons to learn the hard way. Things that he would have normally experienced during those high school years, such as teachers he doesn't like, or friend groups that split didn't happen, the typically group social activities were all cancelled. I think there is a developmental delay across the board with kids and young adults. It's a continuum as some are more affected than others. But the "resiliency" that kids supposedly learned throughout covid has not been fully realized in many. I am 100% certain that the classes are really hard for my son compared to what he had in high school. That high school passed everybody, no matter what. They completely changed their grading scale, a kid can get zero answers correct on a test, or completely fail an assignment and the lowest score they will get is 50%. Supposedly that's so it's easier for the kid to make it up and pass the class. Ridiculous. Mine does not know how to study. And he also has struggled making friends. He's not the type to want to party all the time, and unfortunately, there's a lot of that going on. I am concerned.

 

[design_mom]

She's home and she seems OK.

She said this week was better than last week. She was really busy with classes this week (which kept her occupied) and it was homecoming week so there were some special events on campus (including a food truck serving her favorite ice cream.) Apparently, one of her roommates is talking about the roommates with her to her hometown for Halloween weekend. (DD included.. The other two are both upperclassmen. One is the RA and the other is her other was the RAs roommate/friend from last year. At first, those two stuck close together and didn't include DD very much, but it seems like they've been including her more in recent weeks, which is nice.) In addition, before we'd gotten more than 30 minutes off campus, one of her friends from class texted and said "Are you still here? Wondered if you wanted to get lunch before you go." She couldn't of course, but it was nice to be invited. So... I feel like she's making connections. She doesn't have as solid of a group as she would LIKE to have, but she's not isolated either.

She's never had a huge group of friends. In high school she had two "best friends." They were in the same classes and activities (which often had a weekend component) but they didn't do a LOT outside of those things. (They each went "away" to college in separate directions... and honestly, there were occasions where that dynamic wasn't super smooth either. A group of three is sometimes difficult.) She also had a boyfriend and a job which also kept her busy. And she also had plenty of 'friendly acquaintances' which were friends when they were together, but didn't really stay in touch when they weren't. I think she envisioned herself being very social at college and having tons of friends and always having something to do. However, I am just not sure that's her true personality. She loves to be busy/active/do things, but she prefers to do it with a small group of people that she knows well. Being social takes energy and it's hard to keep it up long term. (i.e. I think she *wishes* she was an extrovert, but she's really an introvert.) I hope she can find her small group of good friends soon though.

She came home on Friday. She visited both sets of grandparents. On Saturday, we went apple picking, then made apple-filled cream puffs. There was a hot air balloon festival at a local park, so we went to that. Today, she's picking up a shift at her high-school job. They're short staffed and she said she can use the money (her favorite place to study is a coffee shop near campus... but she feels like she needs to buy something when she goes, so she's been spending more there than she expected!) Grandma made an apple pie with some more of the apples we picked yesterday, so we're going to go sample that after she gets off work. Tomorrow, we're going to do some shopping in the morning. And they're having a door decorating contest for Halloween at the dorm, so we're going to use the Cricut machine to cut out some pieces that they can use for their door decorations. Then I'm going to drive her back to campus in the afternoon.

@momz -- I'm sorry the college experience isn't exactly what your son was hoping it'd be either. Hope they can both hang in there and that good things will happen for both of them.

 

[slo]

@momz - I’m sorry to hear that your son is having a rough start. Does he have Fall Break soon? Hopefully he can come home and enjoy some family time. Hopefully he’ll be able to hit the reset button and have a better second half of the semester.

@design_mom - I’m glad to see that your DD is doing better and had a nice visit at home. Hopefully she’ll have a better second half of the semester and win that door decorating contest

My DD19 has acclimated well and she’s happy with her decision of the school she chose. She’s going to a small college, just a little over 500 in her class, which is 300 less than her HS class. She’s playing softball there and she likes her teammates and they like her, which I’m very grateful for. I’ve heard some real nightmare stories about college teams (all sports) so I’m breathing a sigh of relief that this team isn’t like others I heard about. Granted it’s just been a few months, but I think if there was ugliness with these girls my DD would have started to see some of it by now.

 

[DawnM]

Son is loving college and enjoying his time up there. His grades are good and he has friends. SCORE! He has come home twice so far and will come again for Thanksgiving.

 

[design_mom]

Is everyone's kid home for the holidays? Both mine got home two weekends ago.

I mentioned earlier that my daughter's had a rough adjustment. The last few weeks of the semester were especially hard and I was really (really) worried about her at certain points. She hated everything about school, was convinced she was going to fail out of her program, etc. (She was no where close to actually failing, but her program requires at least a C+ in each class and a minimum 3.0 GPA to continue.)

Grades came out and she got what she needed. It wasn't a stellar report card and wasn't what she was used to in high school (she got a C+, which she'd never had before)... but at least she didn't "dig herself a hole" with her program. Whew.

When she had been home a few days, my husband and I brought up transferring. She had mentioned it herself a few times over the last couple weeks. We told her that, academically, it'd probably be best if she finished out the year at her current school, but if she wanted to look into transferring for next year, we'd pay the application fees, etc. I also thought she should call the schools and find out about transfer deadlines, if she'd be able to be in the same type of program she's currently in, etc.

She said "OK... but I'll definitely finish out the year." Then later in the week I suggested that if she wanted to call some other schools she should do it soon (last week) because starting this week, I think a lot of people will be on vacation. She said "Eh, I'm good." So I don't think she's planning to call anybody.

So... I don't know. Now it sounds like she just wanted someone to "vent" to and things were not nearly as dire as they seemed. I want her to talk to me about stuff when things are bothering her...but... I'll be honest, I'm not sure I can deal with that for 3.5 more years.

i really think one of the biggest issues is that she hasn't found "her people" at school yet and doesn't have a support system down there, so I really, really hope everything "gels" next semester.

 

[jackilvsmath]

Class of 2022 Parent Lurker here - now that everyone should be done (or close to done) with Year 1 how did everyone's year go? Our DD went to a school about 45 minutes from us. Roomed with a close friend from HS. Everything went great. She loves her major, made some friends, got a job, and is joining more activities than she tried in HS. The only thing she didn't care for was Marching Band, so she's not doing that next year. Here's to the summer!

 

[Skywalker3]

Hey, thanks for reviving the thread. DD has been home about 2 weeks. She went to an in state school about 2 hours away. Roomed with a friend from high school. After much drama, and ups and downs, they made it, and I think are still friends.....maybe not as good as before, but they made it. Overall. DD did well. A lot of kids from her high school went there, and she didn't love that. She initially felt like it was a continuation of of some of the high school cliques, but she eventually met several other education majors to hang out with, and will room with them next year, and have a better room layout. So, it went well,, not perfect, and still quite a bit of anxiety, but she kept her scholarship, and she wants to go back, so that's good! I think she really enjoyed some independence. The move out....wow, it's like her stuff multiplied. Barely fit in the van. Hope others had good years also!

 

[slo]

Hi everyone!

DD19 is not home yet - she’s still playing softball. I have no idea when she’ll be home this month - it all depends on if they keep winning. Once they lose, they are done with their season.

She had a fantastic year athletically and academically. She made a lot of new friends and has a very sweet new boyfriend.

I can hardly wait for her to come home - I miss her like crazy!!!

 

[sam_gordon]

DS has been home for a couple weeks. He enjoyed his first year, wasn't crazy about some of the required classes, but is willing to go back for a second year. He's changing roommates to another teammate but keeping the same room for next year.

 

[clori]

My daughter finished this week. She had a job interview yesterday and should know next week. She has a city summer job interview prior to that but I think they notify them in June.

She had an excellent year academically with a 4.0 both semesters. She got to work directly with some professors and is doing special project with one in the fall who actually told her about the job she interviewed for (unrelated to her major). She went to school around 30 minutes away when there is no traffic. She didn't know roommate but it worked out well mostly - it was an international student who went to bed early (Between 8 and 9pm) so my daughter would have preferred to have the lights on a bit longer. The roommate is transferring and my daughter is rooming with a college friend in a campus house next year with a in room bathroom rather than a hall bathroom - it is just a dorm room but the building has a kitchen/living room etc Socially dd also had a great year making new friends and doing new activities. She i

 

[design_mom]

Mine finished April 26. Grades are finalized and she did pretty well. She says second semester was better than first but she did not love it. There was talk of transferring, but she's decided to go back for another year.

We left 3 days after she got home for a trip to Disney World (our first since 2015) and celebrated her 19th birthday there. I think that was a good "break" for her.

 

[justafigment27]

DD19 has been home for almost three weeks. She had a good year and is excited to go back in the fall.

We left for a Disney cruise about 5 days after she got home and she spent last week taking care of various appointments. Next week she starts summer classes and has a couple of shifts scheduled at her job from last summer - she’s excited to make some money.

My house is a wreck - DD21 is also home and they both have so much stuff. I said I was just going to rent a storage unit for the summer and have them both unload there … I didn’t, but I wish I had! D21 is in an on campus apartment- it’s pretty nice and I like that we don’t have to pay rent in the summer (she has a full time seasonal job at home), but it means she has to lug so much stuff home - kitchen stuff, small appliances, cleaning supplies, etc. D19 is living in an off campus house with several girls next year and has a 12 month lease- she’s hoping they love it and she can just stay put for the next 3 years (I’m kind of hoping the same so she can just leave her crap there).

This might be the last summer we have two kids home, so I’m trying not to complain too much and just enjoy.