Debt Dumpers 2024

[firefly_ris]

We looked up the Kelley Blue Book on the van. It's a 2017 with 107k miles on it. It's saying we'd get about 6k for it, which sucks because we bought it in 2022 for $30k. It is what it is.

Since we bought it in November of 2022, we have taken it in twice in the first 60 days of owning it for not starting (all power comes on, no crank), first time they said it was an aftermarket key issue and couldn't get it to replicate, then they said it was an issue with some kind of sensor and fixed it. We had the transmission replaced last summer when it went out. Then the starter in November while we were in Florida that went out. Now AGAIN the car wouldn't turn over and had full power so off it went to the dealer again. I planned to just drive it til it fell apart, but it seems like we've hit that point. Thank everything above that we actually bought their extended warranty and this will only cost me $200 to get fixed. But it's no longer safe for me and the kiddos to be driving around in.

We're looking into a mid-size suv. I've found several I like in the $25-30k range. I'm hoping to stay closer to $25k, trade in with 6k, and add an additional $3k to get us down to only needing to finance 15k. Or see if my mom will let me borrow the money from her and I just pay her back instead of a car loan (no interest). I do all her financial stuff for her anyway, so I could easily just use my account to pay her electric as my "car payment".

Bummer. That's not old at all! It's not everyone's cup of tea but I don't trade in, I sell privately for more. The dealer was going to give us $200 to "take the van off our hands" and I sold it privately the very next day instead for $1000. And that was a rusted old 2005 Town and Country with corroded wires so it had no functioning radiator fans and just under 200k miles on it. Is that 6k the private party value or trade in value? I also look up similar vehicles on craigslist and marketplace to see what others are asking. Obviously some people don't want to deal with it, but I also really, really, really hate dealerships and dealing with them in any capacity so I'll go out of my way to make some extra buck and not go near them.

I think renting a vehicle for your trip is still a great idea because it gives you some extra time to look around and not have to make an emergency choice. Good luck and I hope everything works out smoothly with that.

[eta] Also you probably already know this but just another idea for anyone -- look into local credit union for car loan rates. The 2 times I ever purchased from a dealer I did not finance with them. However it's been a while so perhaps they are nearly the same right now, I wouldn't know, but just a thought. Again I personally hate dealers so I go out of my way to associate my money with them as little as possible.

 

[pblack]

Thanks. I've tried getting DW to take part. But she never wants to. And makes fun of me for doing it saying it's a waste of time, it's not helping, etc. Just Sunday, I got home from walking and knocked on the door. She said I interrupted her TV show by making her get up to have to unlock the door and let me know. I've been on the fence about quitting and just sitting around. But so far I've stayed on track.

That sounds like a 'her' problem. Maybe next time you can bring a house key with you so you can just let yourself back in. If the exercise is making you feel better, than keep on swimming!

 

[firefly_ris]

Exercise
This one's promising. At the beginning of March, I decided to start keeping track of my exercise. Prior to beginning of February, I didn't exercise at all. Nothing. Now I try to walk, and that's about it. I tried this past weekend to mix some intermittent running into my daily walks, and I paid for it. Very tired and sore last night. Anyway, I did keep up with my distance walked and time walked. So far this month, I've walked 12-3/4 miles and spent 188 minutes walking. I went 6 miles over the weekend. Wife is still not happy with me exercising (she was upset last night because I interrupted her TV show by knocking on the door when I was done, so she could let me in). She says things like my talking about it is rubbing it in her face, it's not helping at all and I look stupid doing it. But I'm still doing it.

Try not to let her get to you. Sounds like she is projecting some personal guilt on to you. Keep working on yourself and just hope that eventually it may motivate her to do the same. Constantly sedentary and not eating any fruits or vegetables is going to catch up with her at some point unfortunately.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

Thanks. I've tried getting DW to take part. But she never wants to. And makes fun of me for doing it saying it's a waste of time, it's not helping, etc. Just Sunday, I got home from walking and knocked on the door. She said I interrupted her TV show by making her get up to have to unlock the door and let me know. I've been on the fence about quitting and just sitting around. But so far I've stayed on track.

Don’t let anyone cause you to give up on taking care of yourself: mentally, physically, financially, spiritually, etc.

 

[CinderEmma94]

Thanks. I've tried getting DW to take part. But she never wants to. And makes fun of me for doing it saying it's a waste of time, it's not helping, etc. Just Sunday, I got home from walking and knocked on the door. She said I interrupted her TV show by making her get up to have to unlock the door and let me know. I've been on the fence about quitting and just sitting around. But so far I've stayed on track.

As of yesterday I have worked out every day for 3 months straight. That is the most consistent I have ever been, though I have trained for 5ks off and on over the past 10 years or so. I am currently switching between cycling and walking/running and on my light day ("rest day") once a week I have a dance party with the kids instead of doing a "real" workout. I also stretch for 10 mins daily and after a month added in basic arm/shoulder strength. It took two months of being consistent and showing up for myself every day before I saw progress. I am sure there was progress before that point, but two months in I had the realization that I was faster, stronger, my clothes were starting to fit differently and my body was changing. I only weigh in once every two weeks. I am not losing weight quickly (I don't want to, I want to keep it off and that won't happen if I lose too fast) but man I feel so good and others are starting to notice that my body is changing even if the scale doesn't reflect it. I didn't make any crazy diet changes (I am in ED recovery so I have to be careful because I can revert to bad habits quickly) but I find myself craving healthier choices.

Don't quit. I am so sorry that the person who is supposed to be your greatest support isn't able or willing to be what you need right now when it comes to health and fitness but in my experience you'll regret it more later if you give up now. Maybe in the future you could bring a house key along with you so you don't have to knock. You got this! I believe in you.

 

[WDW_fan_in_TX]

Probably true. Every time I try and talk to her about it and my excitement for that day's accomplishment, she says I'm just rubbing it in her face, And don't get me started on eating fruits and veggies. I don't eat them every day, but I try a lot of days. She doesn't ever, ever eat them. Likes no veggies at all. Meat and potatoes and Dr. Pepper. That's her diet. But this isn't about her. I'm not trying to talk down or bad about her, lol.

Try not to let her get to you. Sounds like she is projecting some personal guilt on to you. Keep working on yourself and just hope that eventually it may motivate her to do the same. Constantly sedentary and not eating any fruits or vegetables is going to catch up with her at some point unfortunately.

 

[Tygerlilly]

Thanks. I've tried getting DW to take part. But she never wants to. And makes fun of me for doing it saying it's a waste of time, it's not helping, etc. Just Sunday, I got home from walking and knocked on the door. She said I interrupted her TV show by making her get up to have to unlock the door and let me know. I've been on the fence about quitting and just sitting around. But so far I've stayed on track.

From someone who was in an abusive relationship previously, I'm saying this with kindness. Your wife is gaslighting the heck out of you. Between the sneaking around with money, the refusal to get finances straight, putting you down your efforts to improve your health, it's 100% gaslighting. She is trying to sabotage your betterment because she feels you will abandon her because you don't "need" her anymore. And I'm saying this as someone who was in the exact same situation as you before.

I really think you guys need some kind of counseling together, but it might also be a good idea to talk to someone completely unbiased yourself. Your wife is mentally trying to beat you down and trust me, it will work and you'll eventually just give up. Please don't.

 

[dpswift]

Thanks. I've tried getting DW to take part. But she never wants to. And makes fun of me for doing it saying it's a waste of time, it's not helping, etc. Just Sunday, I got home from walking and knocked on the door. She said I interrupted her TV show by making her get up to have to unlock the door and let me know. I've been on the fence about quitting and just sitting around. But so far I've stayed on track.

Don’t quit. Hopefully she will join in soon. Walking is good exercise and will help you meet you goals. It takes time

 

[dpswift]

Thanks. I've tried getting DW to take part. But she never wants to. And makes fun of me for doing it saying it's a waste of time, it's not helping, etc. Just Sunday, I got home from walking and knocked on the door. She said I interrupted her TV show by making her get up to have to unlock the door and let me know. I've been on the fence about quitting and just sitting around. But so far I've stayed on track.

I don’t like butting in but she does seem to be sabotaging your development. Is there anything that she wants to work towards that will get her onboard? For years my husband’s answer to financial issues was figure it out. But now he wants to retire in the next year or so. He is actually o.k. With cutting back in some areas.

As far as eating he is more adventurous and eats very little pasta and processed food. I am pushing the walking for the good of both of us. Hopefully if you start losing weight and getting into shape she will lay off the processed food. It is not good for her health either. The junk food and lack of fruits and vegetables is my pitfall too.

Just keep working towards getting healthier and hopefully she will too

 

[barkley]

And don't get me started on eating fruits and veggies. I don't eat them every day, but I try a lot of days.

just curious-is it taste, texture or just not being in the habit of eating fruits and veggies for you?

 

[WDW_fan_in_TX]

As far as fruits, it's that I can't eat them before they go bad. I'll buy a mix (usually around 6-7 pieces at a time) of 2-3 apples, 2-3 oranges and a thing of 3-4 bananas. I love grapes, too, in addition, but I just can't eat them all in the 4-5 days before they go bad. As far as veggies, I wind up wasting them. I will cook a frozen bag of something (only buy frozen veggies) and eat half of it then throw the other half out. So it's not that I don't like them. It's just I can't buy them without wasting some.

just curious-is it taste, texture or just not being in the habit of eating fruits and veggies for you?

 

[barkley]

As far as fruits, it's that I can't eat them before they go bad. I'll buy a mix (usually around 6-7 pieces at a time) of 2-3 apples, 2-3 oranges and a thing of 3-4 bananas. I love grapes, too, in addition, but I just can't eat them all in the 4-5 days before they go bad. As far as veggies, I wind up wasting them. I will cook a frozen bag of something (only buy frozen veggies) and eat half of it then throw the other half out. So it's not that I don't like them. It's just I can't buy them without wasting some.

i would just cut back on the number of fruits you are purchasing (no sin in buying 1 of each at a time esp. if you shop weekly). on the frozen vegs-i will just cook a portion of a bag and put the rest back to cook at a future date since they are not being defrosted prior to cooking.

have you ever tried freezing grapes? during the warmer months they are very refreshing.

 

[WDW_fan_in_TX]

I thought about cutting back. But I don't really like to go up to the counter with 1 orange, 1 apple and 1 banana, lol. Looks a little weird. As far as veggies, can you refreeze them after the bag has been opened? For example, I buy the ones that you have to heat in the bag. So how do you go about splitting the bag without cutting and removing some? I'm genuinely interested now.

i would just cut back on the number of fruits you are purchasing (no sin in buying 1 of each at a time esp. if you shop weekly). on the frozen vegs-i will just cook a portion of a bag and put the rest back to cook at a future date since they are not being defrosted prior to cooking.

have you ever tried freezing grapes? during the warmer months they are very refreshing.

 

[bababear_50]

I understand the fruit thing.
I was so fed up of throwing out expired stuff that I finally realized that I had to buy small portions ,,,I now usually buy
a couple of these
2 bananas
1mandarin orange
1 apple
1 pear
Sometimes strawberries,,, but I wash and flash freeze them and store in small baggies.
I also will wash and freeze grapes.
I like frozen fruit in my water and also the frozen fruit is great to take to work .

My doctor and I were taking about the effects of a no fruit/veggie diet ,,,the effects are not always seen on people at a early age but try doing this in your 30-40-50-60's and wow your health will be in sad shape.

Veggies are hard for me to consume and digest but I do try.
I'm also vitamin B12 deficient so I get a shot each month.



These are my fav frozen veggies... resealable pouch. Just boil the amount you want ...drain and touch butter pepper/salt and enjoy.
Freeze the rest of the bag.

Hugs Me

 

[CinderEmma94]

I thought about cutting back. But I don't really like to go up to the counter with 1 orange, 1 apple and 1 banana, lol. Looks a little weird. As far as veggies, can you refreeze them after the bag has been opened? For example, I buy the ones that you have to heat in the bag. So how do you go about splitting the bag without cutting and removing some? I'm genuinely interested now.

I wouldn't re-freeze the veggies, but I would cook 1/2 the bag in a saucepan on the stove instead of microwaving the whole bag.

Also I agree with @barkley frozen grapes are so good.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

I thought about cutting back. But I don't really like to go up to the counter with 1 orange, 1 apple and 1 banana, lol. Looks a little weird. As far as veggies, can you refreeze them after the bag has been opened? For example, I buy the ones that you have to heat in the bag. So how do you go about splitting the bag without cutting and removing some? I'm genuinely interested now.

I pack the leftovers for lunch the next day.

 

[WDW_fan_in_TX]

I do that sometimes whenever we cook something where we'll have leftovers. That's not often as neither of us really like them. But I will eat some stuff leftover (spaghetti, steak, things like that, remember we don't cook chicken or seafood at home).

I pack the leftovers for lunch the next day.

 

[DisneyMandC]

From someone who was in an abusive relationship previously, I'm saying this with kindness. Your wife is gaslighting the heck out of you. Between the sneaking around with money, the refusal to get finances straight, putting you down your efforts to improve your health, it's 100% gaslighting. She is trying to sabotage your betterment because she feels you will abandon her because you don't "need" her anymore. And I'm saying this as someone who was in the exact same situation as you before.

I really think you guys need some kind of counseling together, but it might also be a good idea to talk to someone completely unbiased yourself. Your wife is mentally trying to beat you down and trust me, it will work and you'll eventually just give up. Please don't.

I'm really glad you brought this up. I agree with this 100% as someone who works with domestic abuse victims. This is all classic behavior. I know we're all reading this through the lens of the internet, which doesn't always give you 20/20 vision, but this is all classic abusive behavior. Abuse doesn't have to be man on woman, and it doesn't have to be physical.

 

[AJollyHoliday]

With regards to fruits and vegs, I agree, it can be really hard, but there is nothing wrong with buying smaller quantities at all! Honestly, the cashiers do not care one bit what people are buying. Maybe you're buying 1 orange because a recipe calls for grated orange peel. You just never know what people are cooking and it's none of their business anyways. We get a lot of our fruits and veggies from our morning smoothies. We mix almond milk, frozen fruit, a banana (this is how you can use ones that are past eating), a carrot, and spinach. We recently added plain greek yogurt to kick up the protein. Oh we also add chia seeds. It is so yummy and refreshing! Just there I listed so many servings and it is easier for me to digest as well. I had colon cancer 8 years ago when I was 37 and had to have the majority of my colon remove (just a few inches remain). I have trouble digesting some veggies now and so have to be careful about what I eat. Smoothies and green juice (made with fruits and veggies) has enabled me to get my nutrients in an easier to digest form.

And keep going on your walks @WDW_fan_in_TX! This is about your health and you feeling good. This is not to make anyone else "look bad." That's on her not you. You cannot control other's feelings, just how you react to them. Keep caring for yourself so you can be around longer to enjoy those Disney trips.

 

[firefly_ris]

I thought about cutting back. But I don't really like to go up to the counter with 1 orange, 1 apple and 1 banana, lol. Looks a little weird. As far as veggies, can you refreeze them after the bag has been opened? For example, I buy the ones that you have to heat in the bag. So how do you go about splitting the bag without cutting and removing some? I'm genuinely interested now.

There is no requirement to heat them in the bag. It's an extra marketed convenience if you want to use the bag that way. I pour portions out into either a pan to sautee or steam with a touch of water in the bottom of a pot, or portion into a glass bowl to microwave. You should be able to cut a good bit of your grocery budget with less food waste -- it's literally throwing money in the garbage.

Also no one cares how many of what fruit you are buying, so don't worry about that. Also the way I look at it everybody else is not paying my bills, I am, so I don't really care what they think anyway.

Not all of the advice will be applicable but I recommend checking out "Frugal Fit Mom" on YouTube.