When I had first researched the suspension bridge, I had pictured something a bit more….a bit less….well, I guess I didn’t picture it being as TRANSPARENT as it was. Or, you know, not something that resembled chain mail (you geeks out there know EXACTLY what I am talking about). If you’ve ever seen that episode of Mythbusters where they make a bridge out of duct tape? And then walked across it? Over a giant shipyard? I can easily imagine the sinking they felt in the pit of their stomachs because that’s exactly what I was feeling.
Family photo op – before traversing the treacherous canyon! Frankly, we all look a little concerned here....
I’ve never really thought of myself as being afraid of heights, but when I stepped up to the edge I thought I was going to lose my you-know-what. I watched my husband, who IS afraid of heights, step casually out onto the bridge and stroll across as if he were crossing Main Street at the Magic Kingdom. To add insult to injury, off went Isabelle, happily traipsing along after him. And I was frozen.
The bridge is not small, but it isn’t big either. I’m 5’3”, and the sides were easily up to my chest.
Stef standing on the bridge, and a few other brave souls crossing over…
Still….it just freaked me out.
By now pretty much everyone was on the other side, except Stef who was stopped in the middle taking photo after photo, seemingly oblivious to the fact that every moment spent on that bridge was another moment it could spontaneously snap right in the middle, leaving all of us to grasp desperately for any hand-hold as we plummeted toward the side of the canyon – much like that scene in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
What? I have an active imagination.
After a few minutes the paralysis began to dissipate. I think it might have had something to do with the growing shame that my 3 year old was braver than me. I stepped out onto the bridge, thinking “ok, this isn’t so bad.” I took a few steps, and a few more steps. Ok, still doing ok. As I got further and further away from what I deemed to be the “safe spot” (where I was pretty sure I could still climb back up to safety once the bridge snapped in two, which was inevitable) panic crept back in. I stopped, turned around and walked back to solid ground.
And then, in what was either a surge of bravery or the shame that my three year old daughter was happily bouncing around on the other side wondering why Mama wasn’t across yet, I MADE MYSELF DO IT. I did not pause, I did not look down, I did not look out to either side. I just kept moving forward until I felt solid wood steps at the other end. Somewhere around the middle I remember being surprised by the quiet, and the sound of the wind. And then, I was on the other side with my family.
Apparently if you stopped to look, this is what you saw. Pretty, if you’re into that sort of thing.
Izzy, bouncing around on what she saw as a giant playground. OF DOOM!!!
The others explored the wooden trails and buildings on the other side, but I knew time was short and I had really wanted to check out the gift shop. And also grab a snack. It wasn’t until then I realized my glaring error: I had to go back across that Godforsaken bridge.
Well, poop on a cracker.
My mantra of “don’t look down, don’t look down” got me about a third of the way across, when some folks came behind me who were clearly oblivious to the fact that I was about to give myself a stroke. You would think the white knuckles on the cables would have given them a clue. But no. Said thrill-seekers thought that would be a great time to test the bridge’s BOUNCING RECOIL. Kids, you may never see me run across a suspension bridge that quickly ever again. Truth be told you won’t see it, because I’m never crossing one again. On the other side I dropped to my knees, panting heavily and kissing the ground. That might be an exaggeration. I think I just rubbed my cheek against it. I’m pretty sure a few people stepped over me before I realized it was safe to stand again.
To give a little perspective of the bridge....here is me, charging ahead to the end. Don't stop, feet, DON'T STOP.
Once my wobbly knees started working again, I popped into one of the lamest gift shops I’ve ever seen. Seriously. It had a handful of t-shirts in odd sizes, some stuffed animals in a can (still trying to figure that one out) and some other handmade items that were not awful but seemed out of place there. You would expect, oh, maybe a magnet or something that said something suspension-bridge related, maybe a little witticism or the trite “I survived” but you, like me, would be wrong. Trust me: I like to shop. If I leave a gift shop empty handed? Especially after looking death in the face over a giant canyon with a raging river beneath it? Yeah, that’s a lame gift shop.
Ah well, there was still time to grab snacks for the troops, who desperately needed them by this point. From the way the bus driver had described it, I was expecting more than just a snack bar. Maybe not quite a café, but something between the two. What I got instead was a counter with an assortment of candy bars and chips, a cooler with water and soda and some wrapped cinnamon rolls. I grabbed two candy bars, two cinnamon rolls and a bottle of water. And then I waited approximately 10 minutes for the world’s slowest cashier to ring up the single person in front of me. I watched her in amazement, moving as if she were underwater. It was like some form of retail Tai Chi. But as much as I wanted to go outside and soak up the scenery from the safety of the sidelines, I was not about to put back anything edible. We still had a two hours left on the excursion, and I had a rumbly in my tummy. Plus, I had promised one of those coveted cinnamon rolls to my dad.
By the time I left the gift shop everyone was boarding the bus. We had enough time to get our passports stamped at the little booth near the entrance (which was actually kind of neat) and then we piled back on to the bus. After a quick headcount, it was determined that no one had plummeted into the river below - success!
Impression of the suspension bridge overall? Beautiful. Amazing. Terrifying. Impression of the surrounding retailers? Plbbbbt.
I really, REALLY wanted something cool related to the bridge. I guess they’re just not into that sort of thing up in the Yukon, eh? Despite what I would start describing as my “near death experience” it was worth the visit. The visit WAS very short, but it was long enough to take in the view and to read all of the info. Isabelle enjoyed climbing all of the stairs and checking out all of the buildings. So overall, fun.
Next up: the cinnamon roll…..exactly HOW long has it been sitting in the Yukon? Also, I enjoy the sites from the train without ever leaving my seat.
I guess there are worse places to wait! 
I am really hoping there is no such thing as a Crapmac, because if there is, we are all running out of options- hope you get it back soon! As usual, you are writing an inspired TR! 
By the way, I was a levitating girl in Mike Super's show on the Dream, so I may be just a little partial. And no, I have absolutely no idea whatsoever how he does it! By the time we got to the glacier in Tracy Arm, it was raining too much for me to stay out there. (thank goodness for a balcony) And it rained in Vancouver and Skagway and Ketchikan. But Juneau was awesome. Except for that LONG walk back to the ship when I didn't know there was a shuttle. Did you know about the shuttle?? Sorry, I am skipping ahead. Can't wait to hear more about your adventure!
As I write you from my Mac, I'm so glad yours is back and working!! WOOHOO 
