It happened. I knew he wouldn't pay off the loan without trying to punish me for it. According to his facebook, he got home from his vacation yesterday, then today he sent an email threatening me with an expensive court battle unless I put him in contact with the kids, on his terms. His email is worded to make it seem like it is my fault that he has not had contact with his kids. I'm not going to post a copy of it but I assure you that it's ridiculous, just one of his mind games. He is trying to bait me into fighting with him.
I think I did an ok job with ignoring his inflammatory language and I drafted the following email response:
You are right, it has been a long time since you have contacted your kids. Your last phone call to your daughter was July 20, 2017. On August 14, 2017, I attempted to send you a text message because (daughter's name) asked me to find out why she hadn't received a call from you in a while. I received a return message that my text had been blocked (I've attached a screenshot of the return message). Since that day you have changed your phone number and your home address without updating me with that information, which doesn't seem to be the actions of a parent who wanted to maintain contact with his children.
You are also correct that a lot has changed in our lives, including the fact that your children have both celebrated birthdays without receiving a phone call or birthday card from their father. The kids and I have celebrated holidays and significant moments in our lives together. They have both grown and matured so much; they are wonderful children who deserve to be valued and loved. I can assure you that both kids are happy and well and I have worked hard over these last years to ensure that they have a happy home and they want for nothing.
That's all i have right now and I'm trying to decide whether to send it. Probably I'll just call my lawyer tomorrow and ask her. This was my nightmare, that he would use the money from the house to fight me for custody. When I saw on Facebook that he had taken this elaborate vacation I got my hopes up that he was going to selfishly blow through the money. Apparently he has decided to use part of it to continue to make our lives hell.