I have been going through our pictures of disney trying to figure out days and parks, you know you never forget your first trip. Your first trip will be the one to stand out more than any other trip. that's just my opinion, no matter how many more times I go to disney world, I will not have the same feeling of seeing the castle for the first time. I will still feel something, but the dream was lived, you can repeat the action, but you can't repeat the realization of your dream coming true.
I can look at a picture and remember the smells, and hear the music playing and feel again what I was feeling. I can look at a picture and a conversation, or a funny look giving by Rig will pop into my mind. Rig and I had some of our best conversations at Disney world, it's easy to do when you are cut off from every day life.
I only had a little over an hour to spend pool side, I was hoping it would be enough to put a little bit of color on my legs. I really wanted to wear shorts at least once while I was on vacation. I was thinking it would be nice to go back to work not necessarily tan, but maybe looking a little more healthy. People who are sun kissed in my opinion look healthy.
Rig had gone to everything pop to fill our mugs and was now laying on the lounge next to me. Boots kicked off and shirtless. (if there were a smiley of a girl fanning herself I would insert that here.) shirtless Rig gives me the vapors.
A friend of mine had lent me a book to read, I'm a book lover. I was reading the Glass Castle. It's a good story but not really one to read while at Disney World. My heart kept breaking for the little girl in the book.
I was telling Rig about the book. "Lee, why would you read something so sad while being on vacation in Disney World?"
"I didn't know it would be so sad, and now I'm hooked."
"Stop reading it. I don't want you to be sad."
I put the book away for the moment, I knew I would be pulling it out again later, but for now I would just talk to Rig.
We had the pool almost to ourselves. there was a family of 5 across the pool from us. A dad, a Mom, 2 young boys and a teenage girl.
The mom and girl were watching Rig, he didn't notice but I did. I used to point out to Rig every time he would catch the eye of another woman. He didn't like me pointing it out to him, he said stuff like that can make a person vain, I think it made him self conscious.
But it got me to thinking about us and our future, everything gets me thinking about us and our future, but disney really had me thinking.
"what do you want more Rig? a girl or a boy?"
"It doesn't matter to me."
"I think I want to have a girl first."
"You said you always wanted a boy first so he could grow up protecting his little sister."
"Yeah, but since I have been here I am really excited to have a daughter to dress up like a princess and bring her to the castle, and have her meet Cinderella."
We sat quietly for a while, I was already planning in my head our first trip with our daughter. I would build her up in her early years to love Disney world, I would create such a magical vision for her.
I sighed, "I hope it's a girl."
Rig started fidgeting, he fidgets when he's nervous, "Lee, you're not pregnant are you?"
The question startled me, "Oh heavens no, I'm just thinking way into the future."
Rig and I talk about babies alot, we both want children, 2 years apart, 1 girl and 1 boy. we would love any baby God gave us, but I already have a perfect husband, it wouldn't hurt to pray for a perfect family.
"I hope if we ever have a boy he grows up to be just like you Rig."
"thank you baby."
"Would you love him if he were gay?"
"I would love him even if he were green and had a tail, he'd be part of us, what's not to love about us?"
"Is that conceit I hear coming from you Rig?"
"No baby, just the truth."
When I was younger and living at home I had a cousin who came out of the closet to the family, his family disowned him. I knew that I would never do that to my own child, and I knew Rig would never do that either. Can you imagine how scary it must be for somebody to know they are different, that they aren't what society says is correct, and the people that are supposed to love them turn them away. that's harsh.
I think that is one reason why Rig and I depend so much on eachothers love. His family kicked him out because he didn't want to live the life that they chose for him, and my family would have never accepted Rig, I would be disowned if they knew about him. I guess, I in a way disowned my family. I didn't want it to be that way, but I knew nothing good would come from them knowing about Rig. It used to make me angry, but now it just saddens me, their ignorance has cost them the chance to know real beauty in a man.
We talked about other things. what we wanted to do that night, which rides we had to go on. We took some pictures, trying to squeeze in together and hold the camera out. We looked through all the pictures we had taken so far, deleted the blurry ones and the ones that Rig took multiples of. The pictures of Rig with the surfer Goofy statue are my favorite. I only wished I had taken random pictures of Rig trying to get to Goofy. the after shot is cute, a soaked Rig smiling triumphantly next to Goofy, his arm around him like they are best buddys, but it would have been nice to have a few pictures telling the story that lead up to the picture of a soaked Rig smiling triumphantly next to Goofy.
Rig said he would recreate it so I could get my random shots, but I declined the offer, it wouldn't have been true.
I told myself I needed to be ready with the camera at all times just in case Disney Rig came out to play again.
Our time by the pool ended and rig and I needed to go get ready for our dinner at Libery Tree Tavern and Mickeys Christmas Party.
It was still warm out but I expected it would get chilly like it did the night before. I put on jeans and a long sleeve shirt and had my hoody tied at my waist. Rig just put on a long sleeve shirt over his tshirt and then we left to go to Magic Kingdom again.
The bus stop for the Magic Kingdom was full. There were alot of people dressed in red and green, and alot santas hats.
Christmas music was playing in the back ground. I got the Christmas spirit. Having the Christmas and the disney spirit at the same time is enough to send all your senses into over drive.
"Rig my brain feels tingly."
"I don't know what to say to that baby, you need a tylenol or something?"
"No, I'm just so happy I feel crazy."
We hugged it out, I just stood there in line for the bus my arms wrapped so tight around Rig praying that this feeling could stay forever.
is finally home ontime tonight and I want to get off DIS to hang out with him but I keep checking back whenever his phone rings to read more!) 
to the boards!
[[ Mom (58) 
Dad (59) 
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I LOVE reading your story. I am between books and this is definately giving me my fix!
