Kevin, I'm so sorry to hear this... My thoughts are with you and all of your family. Although I never met your *mum* she was obviously quite an amazing woman, from stories I've heard you tell and also the strength and compassion she (and your whole family) showed around your fathers untimely passing.
It was clear she was a strong matriarch for a well deserved family.
No words can ever make these things easier. I always feel confusion about how the world can continue around me when I'm feeling like this... I'm not a poet... Nor am I an academic... however I always find comfort in these words..
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
Funeral Blues/Stop All The Clocks
W. H. Auden
I hope you can find some comfort in these words, and that it is normal to be hurt and confused.
I'll see you in September.
Thinking of you. Hugs
Roy
P.s. *Sorry I couldn't bring to write mom.
I'll also volunteer to be your Nancy when you come to London.