My thoughts weren't with friends. It really lies in the other family members (particularly the other set of grandparents.) I absolutely don't think anyone would say to them "NO! It's all grandpa's fault," but I wonder if anyone in the extended family has discussed with them what it could mean (i.e., the stress and time focused on this may not reap any reward and potentially create more pain) and to switch focus to the future. Family members very well could have, and the parents told them to butt out. And it could have been discussed, but they know the parents have to deal with this in the way they see fit. (I can understand that last part very well. Family could have said their peace, but understand the parents need to deal with this in their own way.)
I do try to put myself in their shoes to understand it. Would my mom have a heart to heart with us about dropping this case? My guess is yes, she would. Doesn't mean we would listen, but it makes me wonder if they have someone not coddling them about everything.
You know, I agreed with you about Grandpa until I saw the videos. If he has seen it (and my guess is he has), then he has to realize his mind had played a self preserving trick on him. Watching it would be heart wrenching, so you take the plea deal and admit your fault. He is not doing that. Then in my mind, let the chips fall where they may. I think the jury will have some pity for him as I do, but if he does get jail time, I won't be angry. I am disappointed he hasn't accept responsibility.
I don't want anyone to be destroyed. I wish the civil case would be dropped, and grandpa takes the plea deal, but it isn't up to me. I do feel RCCL needs to go in full throttle, which I truly believe they will to protect their brand/image. However, I hope they do so with the understanding this family is grieving. If they continue to handle it the way they have been, then it will be done this way.