When do you stop paying for your kids' cruises?

[quickcat]

If I invite them to come along, I will pay for it.
Good question! It’s fun to read the different responses.
Have fun

 

[lovin'fl]

I didn't vote. Not sure how. Yes, we currently pay for cruises and Disney trips when they can come with us. Our 3 kids are in college and will be 22, 20 and 20 soon. I, personally, feel that should stop once they are out of college and adulting. I can see us taking them to Disney and paying since we have DVC so we can get the villa, maybe every 2 or 3 years.

DH and I are a bit at odds on this topic. Currently with 2 DDs in college 9 hours away and the 3rd is about to finish college and lives in his own apartment 30 mins from us and is working at a hotel...it is tough to plan trips when we are all available. One DD is doing firefighting and EMT training which she has during college breaks. Other DD is majoring in education and has a bunch of service activities she's involved in. Plus it takes an effort just to retrieve them from there to go anywhere. They don't have a decent airport nearby (the one they have doesn't fly here to RDU). Yet, DH keeps insisting that we include and plan around them.

We booked a 9 night Royal cruise for January, at end of DDs winter break. DS just backed out because he can't get 11 days off work (9 days for cruise and a day travel time on each end as it's out of Baltimore). It cost us $100 to cancel him and we had to move cabins to a less appealing spot (had to move out of 3 pax cabin and into 2 pax for DDs and had to have next door cabins as they aren't 21). Then, a week later, DS asked me if I can add him back on. I said no but DH was like 'why not'. It would cost us $240 more than originally paid AND we'd have to move cabins again. So we are planning for him to join us at F&W next fall and bring his GF. I am booking a 2BR and if he backs out of that, we will have a lot of wasted space = wasted points. And one DD told me she might be doing EMT training during spring break...which we have WDW booked for that. I had Xmas booked but DH was insistent we go to MD to see family for Xmas so I moved the trip to DDs' spring break, per DH's request so DDs could join us. I booked a 1BR, made ADRs and bought DVC APs for all 4 of us. Used mine in Oct and it was the Platinum pass since we had the Xmas trip planned...but DH made me cancel and I spent over $100 extra for the Plat when all I needed was the Gold. At least I didn't buy DDs yet and got them Gold after we switched dates. But now one DD may not go. I told DH "no more planning around our 20something kids". Ridiculous.

 

[CM Dad]

My wife and I have DVC points, so for WDW vacations the room part of the vacation is covered by us when we take all the kids and grandkids.

We have done 2 family cruises with them (15 people for the first and 16 for the second) for special occasions. The first was for my wife's 60th birthday where including all the kids and grandkids was a surprise to her until we got to the port. The 2nd was for our 40th anniversary. I paid for the cruise itself (including the standard gratuities) but in general they had to pay other expenses. Two of our daughters have done some cruises on their own, and on our last cruise, one of our daughters and family booked the same cruise on their own. My wife is trying to convince our 3rd daughter that she and her boyfriend should use a placeholder they booked on the 40th anniversary cruise to join us on our Alaskan cruise this summer.

 

[Pens Fan]

Our son is a junior in college, so we definitely still pay for him. As far as we are concerned, his number one priority right now is getting an education, not worrying about saving for a vacation.

That said, I don't think this is a question with a definitive answer (I voted "other"). It would completely depend on the situation. Our family prioritizes travel and have never minded spending the money to do so. I think one of the greatest gifts we've given our son over the years is introducing him to all different types of travel to experience many different places and cultures. But often those trips were pretty expensive - definitely more than most people just starting out in the work place could easily afford. Once he graduates and gets a full time job, if we planned a vacation for the three of us that was out of his financial comfort zone, of course we would help him out as long as we could comfortably afford it. I'm sure he would contribute here and there to the costs as best he could, but it certainly wouldn't be something I'd be worrying about.

 

[kkayluvsdis]

Wow! I want to be adopted into one of your families! The last time my parents paid for a vacation was a Florida trip my senior year of college.

 

[mevelandry]

I do not have kids... However, because my parents paid for me for a very long time, (then my father died and my mom was extremely irresponsible) I started my adult life extremely clueless about money (and it made my first adult years extremely hard financially) so I would recommend to encourage kids to find part time jobs and learn to budget (and budget and save money for vacations) as early as possible in life. The earlier in life you are responsible for your own money and benefits coming from saving it, the better it is.

3rd and 4th person in the cabin usually pay half the rate so I don't think it's an horrible thing to ask them to pay for their portion. Encouraging them with "charts" can motivate them because they will see results and feel the vacation as a reward for hard work (aka "real life") instead of something that just happens automatically without having to do anything for it.

If I had kids, I would start making them pay for at least their own part around 16 years old (as long as they have part time jobs), or 18 years old tops (if you have no job/no money, you're not coming).

 

[mevelandry]

My kids are still really little. But at this point I don’t think I’d expect them to pay until they were financially independent. It would also depend on how much I wanted them to come with us. I spent my 20s barely being able to pay my bills, so expensive vacations were not in the cards. If my kids get into a similar situation I wouldn’t expect them to pay and if we really wanted them to come, we would pay.

I haven’t done any cruises with my parents, but as an adult they still pay for things on family vacations. Generally if we all go somewhere they rent a house and pay for it. DH and I will then buy groceries and pay for one or two dinners out.

To be honest, I would not expect a 19 year old to pay for much. To me that’s still pretty much a kid and part time jobs don’t usually pay well. As long as I was in a financial position to do so, I’d pay and encourage my kid to save as much of her earnings as possible.

I guess it depends where you live. Here in Quebec (Canada) the minimum wage is 12$. My husband took a part time job on top of his normal job just "to keep busy" and decided to use that money for vacations. He does thursday and friday nights, 8 hours a week. He paid off his part of our last cruise within two months!

 

[cruiser21]

I guess it depends where you live. Here in Quebec (Canada) the minimum wage is 12$. My husband took a part time job on top of his normal job just "to keep busy" and decided to use that money for vacations. He does thursday and friday nights, 8 hours a week. He paid off his part of our last cruise within two months!

Minimum wage in AZ is 10 dollars an hour. I joke with them and tell them when they get their first job the can pay their cruise fare. I think a lot of parents continue to pay for the occasional vacation because one they have the means and two they want to take a big family vacation and that’s the only way to get everyone onboard.

 

[cruiser21]

Our son is a junior in college, so we definitely still pay for him. As far as we are concerned, his number one priority right now is getting an education, not worrying about saving for a vacation.

That said, I don't think this is a question with a definitive answer (I voted "other"). It would completely depend on the situation. Our family prioritizes travel and have never minded spending the money to do so. I think one of the greatest gifts we've given our son over the years is introducing him to all different types of travel to experience many different places and cultures. But often those trips were pretty expensive - definitely more than most people just starting out in the work place could easily afford. Once he graduates and gets a full time job, if we planned a vacation for the three of us that was out of his financial comfort zone, of course we would help him out as long as we could comfortably afford it. I'm sure he would contribute here and there to the costs as best he could, but it certainly wouldn't be something I'd be worrying about.

I feel the same way about vacations. To be honest I can't wait until they have part time jobs to pay for all their electronics.

 

[aggiedog]

I picked "other" since I think there are too many variables. We have 19 yo's. There comes a point when an adult kid should pay for themselves, but I'd assume they'd be out of school and making money by then. However, if there is a trip I really want them on, I'd pay. I make good money, but my sister does not. My mom has paid for her and her family to travel with us a few times, whereas she has never paid for me or my family. I'm ok with that. We all have different circumstances.

I think the issue of "do you even include your adult kids" is relevant also. With two kids in college summer school, and a HS drum major, there will be NO weeks this summer where all my kids are free to vacation. If we go anywhere, the summer school kids will be left out. They're older, had their opportunities to travel with us, and it's time for them to be adults. Once they get jobs, it will be similar, I'm sure. That makes me sad, but what can you do? I'm trying to plan one last big family vacation when youngest dd graduates HS, but I think it's going to have to be over Christmas her first year of college. That will be the only time I'm 90% certain all my kids will be free.

 

[CamColt]

With 2 DSs, 18 and 21 i am finding these replies interesting. So far we have been doing at least 1 big family trip in the summer, and DH and I might do shorter trips throughout the year. We have a cruise booked for this summer so at least until they are 19 and 22 we will be paying for them. The following summer is DH's and mine 25th anniversary and we hope to get to Hawaii for that so that might be the end of us taking the kids on trips. I don't know? I guess a lot depends on their schedules and if they want to go with us, etc...

As a kid we did 3 big Disney trips, while our yearly summer vacation was at a Beach about an hour away from us. That stopped when I was 16, so after that I got no more vacations paid for. That was until my Father retired and took us all (kids, spouses, grandkids) on a cruise. I was 32 then, so I guess a lot depends on circumstances.

 

[mouselike-harrier]

Our son is a junior in college, so we definitely still pay for him. As far as we are concerned, his number one priority right now is getting an education, not worrying about saving for a vacation.

That said, I don't think this is a question with a definitive answer (I voted "other"). It would completely depend on the situation. Our family prioritizes travel and have never minded spending the money to do so. I think one of the greatest gifts we've given our son over the years is introducing him to all different types of travel to experience many different places and cultures. But often those trips were pretty expensive - definitely more than most people just starting out in the work place could easily afford. Once he graduates and gets a full time job, if we planned a vacation for the three of us that was out of his financial comfort zone, of course we would help him out as long as we could comfortably afford it. I'm sure he would contribute here and there to the costs as best he could, but it certainly wouldn't be something I'd be worrying about.

That's how I feel too. My son goes to college in Florida and we live in Connecticut. During the summer and school year (they give him more hours during the summer), he works at his school's admissions office. This means he only gets to come home a couple of weeks during the summer and during his breaks at school. We don't see him a lot. In the summer of 2017, we met and took a Disney Cruise and this was our chance to spend time together. We have always travelled extensively and brought the kids even though this upped the expenses quite a bit. When he graduates, he faces $90,000 in student loans. I see us paying for him for quite some time. I didn't even factor in my daughter, who just started college this September...

 

[Pens Fan]

I feel the same way about vacations. To be honest I can't wait until they have part time jobs to pay for all their electronics.

This cracked me up. While I do see us contributing to his travel budget somewhat in the years ahead, I quit paying for his video games years ago!!!

 

[darnheather]

I guess what makes it a difficult decision for me is that I foresee many more years traveling with my youngest but not necessarily with my oldest. I had thought this coming PC trip would be the last. I do want her to travel with me but I also want her to learn to be responsible. I'm also not sure how much fun she'll have once she is in that in between 18-20 age.

 

[Geomom]

I guess what makes it a difficult decision for me is that I foresee many more years traveling with my youngest but not necessarily with my oldest. I had thought this coming PC trip would be the last. I do want her to travel with me but I also want her to learn to be responsible. I'm also not sure how much fun she'll have once she is in that in between 18-20 age.

My 18 yr old DD loved doing DCL with us this summer--she was able to go to the adult classes--'anyone can cook', and napkin folding, as well as going to the adult entertainment in the lounges with us in the evenings. DD14 spent that time in Vibe with friends she'd made.

I'd say it really depends on how much of her own money she has at that point--you can start it off small, with any 'incidental charges you need to pay for--souvenirs, smoothies, etc', to asking her to pay for her airfare if she has a job--just be sure she knows what you expect of her ahead of time. DD18 is in college and has a sum of money we put in a debit account for her--she's supposed to budget that amount over the full school year--textbooks, any dining out, shopping, etc. She already told me she put herself on a budget when she went shopping with friends--so that's a start. She seems to have a good handle on it, especially when she mentions some high end clothes friends have bought, but knows she can't afford them. She did take a Personal Finances course in her senior year of high school, which helps.

 

[mousefan73]

Trying to decide if I'm going to pay for my oldest daughter's cruise in 2020. She's going to be taking a gap year and working part time. I'm torn. I want to, but money doesn't grow on trees in our house. Curious what other people do/think.

I think to help make your decision you need to first figure out can you pay for her portion of the cruise without affecting your financial position.

I am in my mid 40s and my mother still pays for my cruises including Her grandkids. DH and I have 5 times her monthly income but due to basic living expenses have less disposable cruise money. My mom on the other hand basically could live off a few hundred dollars a month and is able to basically used almost all of her income for fun money. So she chooses to cruise every year with me and the kids and covers those costs. Of course somethings I do have to pay for. Expenses while on cruise ( I’m not gonna ask her if it’s ok to get a glass of wine at dinner or souviners$. I pay car rental as I am the driver.

My kids are still tweens. And I think I will really see what their financial situation is in the future if we ever come to this type of situation. It really comes down to who has the disposable income to pay for such fun things. It could be that in 10 years my kids are weighted down with mortgages or student loans. DH and I will then have more fun money to share ( house paid off etcc) . . We would then pay for our adult kids.

I view our money whole as expanded family unit. Age / generation does not matter. It could be that one day my kids end up paying for me!!

 

[lovin'fl]

You know...when my mom (70 and I am 45) vacations with us (WDW, Hilton Head or cruise) we pay her way. She has the money but she likely would not offer to go with us in the first place so I invite her and take care of costs (she'll pay for some of the meals on the trips). But she hasn't taken us anywhere. Last vacation my parents paid for (took me on) was probably to Bush Gardens when I was like 14. My brother is 5 years older so once he went off to college the trips became 'couple only' after that. And my dad died when my kids were babies so we never had the chance to do a family trip. We, my DH and I, do them and bring my mom. My bro, not married and no kids, is a 'different' type and has no interest in mainstream vacations like WDW or cruising or beach trips.

So we can't cover vacations expenses for 3 generations every time. When we can, we do. It would be nice if our parents treated. My mom booked the Allure of the Seas as a solo passenger (so she had to pay double for cabin...as if a 2nd pax). I asked her if I could take that 2nd spot since she was paying for it regardless if another person went or not. She was like 'I don't think so'. Nice!

 

[oufpat]

We've always covered the DVC room and tickets for our WDW trips, kids contributed what they could towards airfare and food. We are giving them their first Disney Cruise, 2 adult daughters, 1 son-in-law, and 5 grandkids ages 9-12 for a Christmas present. Of course we're going too. It's a very expensive gift, but I think the memories are priceless!

 

[mousefan73]

You know...when my mom (70 and I am 45) vacations with us (WDW, Hilton Head or cruise) we pay her way. She has the money but she likely would not offer to go with us in the first place so I invite her and take care of costs (she'll pay for some of the meals on the trips). But she hasn't taken us anywhere. Last vacation my parents paid for (took me on) was probably to Bush Gardens when I was like 14. My brother is 5 years older so once he went off to college the trips became 'couple only' after that. And my dad died when my kids were babies so we never had the chance to do a family trip. We, my DH and I, do them and bring my mom. My bro, not married and no kids, is a 'different' type and has no interest in mainstream vacations like WDW or cruising or beach trips.

So we can't cover vacations expenses for 3 generations every time. When we can, we do. It would be nice if our parents treated. My mom booked the Allure of the Seas as a solo passenger (so she had to pay double for cabin...as if a 2nd pax). I asked her if I could take that 2nd spot since she was paying for it regardless if another person went or not. She was like 'I don't think so'. Nice!

You know...when my mom (70 and I am 45) vacations with us (WDW, Hilton Head or cruise) we pay her way. She has the money but she likely would not offer to go with us in the first place so I invite her and take care of costs (she'll pay for some of the meals on the trips). But she hasn't taken us anywhere. Last vacation my parents paid for (took me on) was probably to Bush Gardens when I was like 14. My brother is 5 years older so once he went off to college the trips became 'couple only' after that. And my dad died when my kids were babies so we never had the chance to do a family trip. We, my DH and I, do them and bring my mom. My bro, not married and no kids, is a 'different' type and has no interest in mainstream vacations like WDW or cruising or beach trips.

So we can't cover vacations expenses for 3 generations every time. When we can, we do. It would be nice if our parents treated. My mom booked the Allure of the Seas as a solo passenger (so she had to pay double for cabin...as if a 2nd pax). I asked her if I could take that 2nd spot since she was paying for it regardless if another person went or not. She was like 'I don't think so'. Nice!

What??? Speechless. You paid for her trips and then she says no when it costs her nothing for younto join?

Maybe she wants to be alone ??? Or has a male conpanion joining her??

 

[lovin'fl]

What??? Speechless. You paid for her trips and then she says no when it costs her nothing for younto join?

Maybe she wants to be alone ??? Or has a male conpanion joining her??

She already went and had an ex boyfriend (who is and ex because she broke it off) join her so he paid for his half. Wasn't super comfortable, she said...being they were EXs. Seems it would have been better to take me. I couldn't have gone anyway...had stuff going on. But was a tad put off that she didn't offer to bring me.