Ok...similar boat here. Found divorce papers on July 20. Completely blindsided. After almost 40 years together, 29 of them married! No, it wasn't perfect, no relationship is. But, to find out that your dh has been cheating for at least two years and has been hiding money? That he has been planning this for over a year? I get what you're going through. I'm at that 5 week point too. Sadly, I have to have contact with him...we have assets to deal with and alimony. I stayed at home for the past 25 years!!! And now, I'm 70!
So...here's what I do to deal with those 'I really want to reach out to him' feelings. I write a letter to him, stating all my feelings, both good and bad. I hold nothing back. Then, that letter goes in a file. I must have 20 or so of these letters. It's interesting to go back and read them to see how my feelings are changing as time passes. Then, when the divorce is final, I'll have a ceremonial burning of the letters.
Best of luck to you. It's hard, but it has to get better as time passes.