Another thread on what you would do....

[FlightlessDuck]

This is more about what YOU would do under similar circumstances.

Well, the rear-end accident wouldn't be the straw that broken the camel's back because it wasn't my child's fault. If I felt my child wasn't responsible enough to drive I would have taken the car away before the last accident.

If I could afford it (assuming I use the insurance money from the totaling), I would replace the car. But I wouldn't get a Mercedes.

Then again, neither one of my children has a car. In fact, my wife and I only have one car between us.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Oh pooh. DD and I have gossiped about a lot of people (yes, I freely admit it. Neither of us would have the same conversations with another living soul but sometimes people do things so shocking that you have got to let it out. So we do) And believe me there is no jealousy.

I almost did a spit take when I read this. LOL I think there were times when your DD was in show choir that I knew as much ´if not more, about her friends and their families as I did about my own kids, just from what you posted about the here. I can definitely tell you and your DD like that gossip

 

[wenrob]

Not in our town. There is no public transportation and it is a spread out, rural community. A car (or a friend with a car) is pretty standard here. I am grateful that we are in a position to buy a used vehicle for our kids. My son was t-boned a few months after getting his car, the other driver was cited. We used the insurance money plus a little more to replace the vehicle for him. Our kids don't take advantage of our generosity so the decision was easy.

And that's fine for those that can do that. Not everyone can. That may be the situation of the family in the OP. Not every where has public transportation and walking/biking isn't always possible.

My mother lived in a little podunk town about 45 miles from here. Closet neighbor was two miles away, “town” was 30mins away. There was not a single stoplight and no sidewalks. Every other weekend, one month out of the summer and from the time I was about 16.5 until the day I turned 18 we figured it out. There was a LOT of walking on gravel roads, bumming rides and once “borrowing” a horse. Our parents did give us rides and if we were lucky let us use their vehicles on occasion. My point was/is that at 16 I wasn’t entitled to a vehicle, it was on me to find a way. Same for my DH. We made the decision that it would be the same for our kids. The OP asked if we’d buy a vehicle and my answer was, no. My answer was not a judgment on what other people do.

 

[mnrose]

Oh pooh. DD and I have gossiped about a lot of people (yes, I freely admit it. Neither of us would have the same conversations with another living soul but sometimes people do things so shocking that you have got to let it out. So we do) And believe me there is no jealousy.

And, I'm not jealous in the least either. i could afford multiple Mercedes, if that was my choice. Seriously. And, I would never say to my daughter "don't discuss that with me." I can't think of a single topic for which that would be my answer. If my D can't discuss something with ME, it's a sad day. Besides, it gave me free reign to once again "explain" my view on teenage sex. ;-)

 

[luvsJack]

I almost did a spit take when I read this. LOL I think there were times when your DD was in show choir that I knew as much ´if not more, about her friends and their families as I did about my own kids, just from what you posted about the here. I can definitely tell you and your DD like that gossip

yep we do. And we aren't ashamed to admit it. Now neither of us would talk to anyone else about some of the stuff (well, irl) but we can have a real gossip-fest at times. Especially some of the more uhhhhh shocking things people do.

 

[luvsJack]

And, I'm not jealous in the least either. i could afford multiple Mercedes, if that was my choice. Seriously. And, I would never say to my daughter "don't discuss that with me." I can't think of a single topic for which that would be my answer. If my D can't discuss something with ME, it's a sad day. Besides, it gave me free reign to once again "explain" my view on teenage sex. ;-)

I totally get where you are coming from. No topic should be off limits.

 

[NHdisneylover]

. Besides, it gave me free reign to once again "explain" my view on teenage sex. ;-)

Yes! Discussing what other people are doing/saying is the best way to segway into discussions about your own beliefs and desire for your kids.

 

[luvsJack]

My mother lived in a little podunk town about 45 miles from here. Closet neighbor was two miles away, “town” was 30mins away. There was not a single stoplight and no sidewalks. Every other weekend, one month out of the summer and from the time I was about 16.5 until the day I turned 18 we figured it out. There was a LOT of walking on gravel roads, bumming rides and once “borrowing” a horse. Our parents did give us rides and if we were lucky let us use their vehicles on occasion. My point was/is that at 16 I wasn’t entitled to a vehicle, it was on me to find a way. Same for my DH. We made the decision that it would be the same for our kids. The OP asked if we’d buy a vehicle and my answer was, no. My answer was not a judgment on what other people do.

I agree, no one is entitled to anything.

Heck, dd's car (and her brothers' cars) were as much for my convenience as their's. YDS had a job after school, so it was 30 minutes to school in the morning, 60 minutes straight to work using his car. I would have had to leave work, drive 45 minutes to get him, 60 minutes to his job and then back to my job. More than my lunch hour for sure. DD had choir which meant practice after school and then performances all over the county. WAAAAAAYYYY too much driving for me. And I need my car so letting them use it was out too.

When I was 16, I walked all over the place. Never thought twice about it. But no way, no how would I let dd walk that far to school Besides its highway. I don't like the idea of bumming rides because why should we take advantage of the fact that someone else chose to do what we would not? Besides, I would rather trust my own child's driving rather than someone else.

But, those are just my reasons for my choices. Everyone has to make their own choices for their own kids.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

This is NOT me, but rather the parents of a friend of my daughter and exchange student.

Parents have two children, 18 and 17. The 18 year old is a senior in high school. He has been a licensed driver for about 18 months. In that time, he's at one "at fault" accident (ran into someone very minor damage), one time backed into a pole in a parking lot, two speeding tickets, and now a third accident (not at fault...he was rear ended). One vehicle involved in all the above, now "totaled" because of the rear end accident. It was a car 10-12 years old passed down to kid.

Parents have now purchased a "newer" Mercedes for kid. My husband and I look at each other and say "***?" There is simply no way I'd be getting kid another car with that kind of track record.

Other background: my daughter REFUSES to ride with him because he is constantly texting and driving. He's not a safe driver, and I believe his record reflects that. We have made it VERY clear to our kid that while she currently has privileges to drive our (oldest) car, an "at fault" accident or speeding ticket brings a screeching halt to those privileges. She'd be ON HER OWN to buy a car, pay for it, pay for insurance, etc.

I would never say anything to his parents (who are casual friends of ours because of the friendship of the kids), because they are, of course, entitled to do what they please. This is more about what YOU would do under similar circumstances. Purely hypothetical because my DD has had no incidents at all, driving slightly less long than this kid.

What says the DIS?

Here's $3 for bus fare crash bandicoot.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I have no problem with the 'sharing'....
None at all !!!!

But, just to throw this out here...
When the OP throws out the term - "newer" Mercedes, that does tend to bring up the possibility.

The thing is, jealousy or not... The type of car really isn't the issue. So, I never thought twice about it.

 

[Planogirl]

How much newer is the Mercedes? It could have a lot of miles on it.

I see nothing wrong with the type of vehicle.

 

[Disney_Alli]

On the topic of teens getting cars my twin sister and I shared our first car when we were 17. I had an accident driving us into town the first time my parents let me drive with my new G2 licence (our first licence that lets you drive alone) both driver's side tires blew out as I went around a corner after stopping at a red light. My parents bought us another car after that mostly for their convenience. We lived 7kms from the closest gas station and a 45 minute drive in to town. We didn't have any friends with driver's licences and they all lived much closer to, or in, town. As my parents each spent easily an hour driving each way to work every day and didn't usually get home until 7pm. Us having a vehicle allowed us to go to after school activities and help out by buying groceries and things that we never would have been able to do otherwise.