Dangers of VMK Friendships

[Chedstro]

I feel that I should add, that everywhere along our trip, we met up with some great friends from Dis. So at anytime I could have called out for help, if needed. Fortunately, it was not ever needed.

 

[wdeversole]

And now I am moving to WDW. And we are planning our lives together. I just guess I Believe in the Magic. It worked for us. But we are truly old adults. So be careful out there!

Congratulations to you and Out !!

 

[saltnpepper]

Nevermind, I think I get it. Still confuzzled though.

Omg i thought i was the only one who said that ! Yay someone else says it !!!! Confuzzled!!!!!!

Yes i teens and chldren should have paretal supervision when meeting ppl from online for safety purposes so it is kinda safe i mena it is not the most dangerous thing you could be doing right now

 

[Blumonkeyboy]

Be careful in building relationships/friendships with “virtual” characters. Within Virtual Magic Kingdom (VMK) players exchange visual interactions and written communications indirectly with “people” though their "character". not real that influences an activity. However, limited visual and written interactions can lead to fake relationships without extra things.

In “virtual” relationship, only two (2) parts of a “real” relationship can develop and cause one to believe such relationship exists outside of their intended boundaries. One of the missing components in these relationships is the same component missing in a mathematical process known as, “No Idea”. This is a process which is used to determine the relationship between two varying quantitiesnumbers otherwise (“people”, in this reference) WITHOUT simultaneous (“real-time”) measurements of the true people.

One of the many qualities missing from “virtual” relationships is “touch” (physical touch)Hug slap strangle.... When “role-playing” with characters during your asynchronous interactions online you must maintain a level of “self-control” as your actions can begin to build “fantasy” mommy mommy this is my best friend everrelationships with “real” people behind their characters. Such is the case when you are unable to provide for the various needs of another playercant really help in real life.

When VMK established their rules about not attempting to communicate with players outside of the gameDont share IM names , they do this for your protection. Attempting to build relationships with certain individuals seeking to fulfill the missing components from a “virtual interaction” Lets meet in real life and grab a burgeris dangerous. These players will attach without true synchronous interactions and will measure their relationship based only on very limited stimuli.They will take advantige of being able to move more

Respect your friends; maintain “self-control” No meeting in real life messageswhen playing. If you are on the other side seeking the missing components of these interactions, please speak “in real” (face-to-face) get your mom or dad with a mature adult and/or support group.Get help in any way possible “Virtual” interactions do not replace “Real” interactions.Never think that it is real as it feels

Until next time, be safe and I will see your “player” in the game.Dont you dare ask me to explainHope this helps Also the other end may be a bad person

 

[yo yo 700]

Omg i thought i was the only one who said that ! Yay someone else says it !!!! Confuzzled!!!!!!

Yes i teens and chldren should have paretal supervision when meeting ppl from online for safety purposes so it is kinda safe i mena it is not the most dangerous thing you could be doing right now

Ohmygodconfuzzeledissuchacoolword
Ontopic- Ya you shouldn't meet somebody you meet on-line unless your parents or a trusted adult.

Remember- this post was brought to you by... the letter Q 'cuase Q is the most under used letter. Make the letter Q happy start useing it!

 

[bowlofcereal]

I enjoyed catching back up this week in reviewing everyone’s wonderful comments and extending the original post to include some of the “Physical” Dangers of VMK Friendships. I express my condolences for confession in the original posting.

Let me address some of the comments. The utilization of the selected title was to direct people to bring thinking of the known pre-existing dangers and to challenge them to view another danger of how we communicate as a danger to other players. The usage of terminology-based words is to encourage additional research by the reader. Having been though various schools as both a student and as a post-secondary lecturer, I have been around the environment of Internet Relay Communications (IRC) for some time. To answer the unasked question; I have come into contact outside of online conversations with people on two separate occasions both following the common-sense rules of engagement.

Following the comments that my cereal has sat too long in milk and thus diluting the conversation; I want to revisit this topic and help others lost in its meaning.

Let me start by showing an illustration of a typical conversation that I am referring to:
Player 1: How are you doing today?
Player 2: I am not so good today. How are you?
Player 1: What is wrong?
Player 2: I do not like my family.
Player 1: Ah; that is ok, I am here.

Seems harmless reading this text, however, this conversation can immediately cause a mental reliance on Player 2 by Player 1. As we read, Player 2 is having problems with his/her family and is reaching out to an online acquaintance as a way to obtain support.

Why is this dangerous?
This is where the building of a “fantasy” begins, as one player is not able to resolve the issue thus creating an illusion of an escape. As the player reaches out to the other player is where the danger of the supporting the acquaintance becomes an issue. The danger is the “supporter” is his/her inability to resolve the underline issue. The player should not be on the computer with peers and really needs to speak with a mature adult or a support group.

Having self-control in your conversations is a sign a true acquaintance and someone who cares. Do not become a supporter while playing VMK to prevent the other player from escaping the problems.

Here is the same conversation with self-control and understanding that the issue cannot be resolved by you and helping the other player address the matter.

Player 1: How are you doing today?
Player 2: I am not so good today. How are you?
Player 1: What is wrong?
Player 2: I do not like my family.
Player 1: Are you able to talk to your family
Player 2: About what?
Player 1: The reason you say that you do not like them.
Player 2: No.
Player 1: Is there anyone you can trust to talk to about this.
Player 2: No.
Player 1: How about your counselor at your school?
Player 2: I guess.

Have self-control in your conversation and avoid conversations of support. Players need to separate the game from life and by providing an escape (fantasy) you can cause more damage to the person you are attempting to help. Conversations involve the breakup of a boyfriend and girlfriend at school and they come online to talk to other players instead of their family or support group. Others include abusive families, marriage issues, fighting and in other cases incidents where players are harming, being harmed or might harm someone else.

Therefore, the danger addressed in this thread is the one that we control and have a role in preventing. This is the danger of supporting and creating an escape and ultimately a fantasy in the lives of other players.

If you are a player seeking an escape from certain issue, please talk to your parents, mature adults or a support group.

 

[mtlhddoc2]

Bowl: you went too deep on the last one. And for the record, I realize your intentions may have been noble, however, talking over children does not encourage them to "look up the words" what it causes is them to completely tune you out. Also, I believe you overused the "big words" - a true intellectual only uses "big words" when they are nessecarly, not in a manner which is inconsistent with the topic at hand. I am no grammatical genius myself and am prone to run on sentences and paragraphs, but I also am a published writer and knows the "lay of the land" in grammatical theory. Not to put down, as that is not my intent, but overuse of seldom used words and phrases is often seen as puffery, and sure as day, that is how I saw it in the original post.

Also, since you have little knowledge of offline meetings (by your own admission) you may want to consult with those who have had offline meetings before. Personally, I have met somewhere in the neighborhood of 4000 people offline whom I was acquainted with online beforehand. Heck, I even married one of them.

 

[PurpleDuck]

Bowl: you went too deep on the last one. And for the record, I realize your intentions may have been noble, however, talking over children does not encourage them to "look up the words" what it causes is them to completely tune you out. Also, I believe you overused the "big words" - a true intellectual only uses "big words" when they are nessecarly, not in a manner which is inconsistent with the topic at hand. I am no grammatical genius myself and am prone to run on sentences and paragraphs, but I also am a published writer and knows the "lay of the land" in grammatical theory. Not to put down, as that is not my intent, but overuse of seldom used words and phrases is often seen as puffery, and sure as day, that is how I saw it in the original post.

Also, since you have little knowledge of offline meetings (by your own admission) you may want to consult with those who have had offline meetings before. Personally, I have met somewhere in the neighborhood of 4000 people offline whom I was acquainted with online beforehand. Heck, I even married one of them.

Thank you Doc! You saved me the effort of having to rebut his post. That was the entire jist of what I was trying to point out. The "big words" just turn off the kids. Plus that he doesn't have enough exposure to speak with any authority about offline meetings.

But there was one area that still "is wrong" to me. The OP's idea of the "correct way" to deal with counseling during a VMK conversation. First, the OP's mistaken belief that the kids he is trying too reach, the "market age" of 8 to 14 year olds, they are NOT going to "learn" from he/she about how to correctly handle a counseling situation, nor how to recognize one. Not with only the given example. Second, I never saw any child here, ask to receive such training.

His words have been proven by "kid" posters here, to be too big and confusing, (Brain my dear friend, we know you are more than capable of understanding. But you are a rare exception to the majority of kids here.) and he/she should not be attempting to "teach a college class" to 8 to 14 year olds. Not here. IMHO, maybe you want to search for a more appropriate forum for your version of "life lessons, in big words, on/about internet relationships".

 

[bowlofcereal]

Bowl: you went too deep on the last one. And for the record, I realize your intentions may have been noble, however, talking over children does not encourage them to "look up the words" what it causes is them to completely tune you out. Also, I believe you overused the "big words" - a true intellectual only uses "big words" when they are nessecarly, not in a manner which is inconsistent with the topic at hand. I am no grammatical genius myself and am prone to run on sentences and paragraphs, but I also am a published writer and knows the "lay of the land" in grammatical theory. Not to put down, as that is not my intent, but overuse of seldom used words and phrases is often seen as puffery, and sure as day, that is how I saw it in the original post.

Also, since you have little knowledge of offline meetings (by your own admission) you may want to consult with those who have had offline meetings before. Personally, I have met somewhere in the neighborhood of 4000 people offline whom I was acquainted with online beforehand. Heck, I even married one of them.

This is not about “offline” meetings it is about the way we handle our behaviour and conversations to players and individuals in asynchronous conversations and interactions. Since this not a published journal or the alike I do not find it necessary to engage the resources of my editors prior to posting.

It is interesting that you have such strong reservations regarding making available information for readers.

Thank you Doc! You saved me the effort of having to rebut his post. That was the entire jist of what I was trying to point out. The "big words" just turn off the kids. Plus that he doesn't have enough exposure to speak with any authority about offline meetings.

But there was one area that still "is wrong" to me. The OP's idea of the "correct way" to deal with counseling during a VMK conversation. First, the OP's mistaken belief that the kids he is trying too reach, the "market age" of 8 to 14 year olds, they are NOT going to "learn" from he/she about how to correctly handle a counseling situation, nor how to recognize one. Not with only the given example. Second, I never saw any child here, ask to receive such training.

His words have been proven by "kid" posters here, to be too big and confusing, (Brain my dear friend, we know you are more than capable of understanding. But you are a rare exception to the majority of kids here.) and he/she should not be attempting to "teach a college class" to 8 to 14 year olds. Not here. IMHO, maybe you want to search for a more appropriate forum for your version of "life lessons, in big words, on/about internet relationships".

It is apparent you do not want people, including adolescents to learn about controlling their behaviour. Which is your choice by attacking the material presented instead of building on the material. This is not an attempt to teach a college class as in those classes we use research materials and case studies that require greater level of time to effectively present. This is merely about helping people, including young adults in understanding the outcomes of not maintaining self-control in an environment not designed for anything other then entertainment.


---------- Article of Interest ----------

I just read a news article, linked from this site, about a child who is an example of an individual who has the inability to separate reality from fantasy. His escape from life, which is the result of parental involvement, is to watch television. For adolescents and adults it can be gaming, such as Virtual Magic Kingdom (VMK).

The child in the article, in an attempt to escape reality, decided to put on his superhero costume and become a Power Ranger to fight an adult with a loaded gun. We can laugh or we can address the issue and help these kids face reality before it faces them.

The avoidance of real life issues by coming to a media designed for entertainment (television, virtual gaming and so forth) is unhealthy. While they are there, a level of codependency develops and they escape into a fantasy. The way we communicate with others in an asynchronous environment is in our control.

Do we provide an escape for people to voice their problems or do we direct them to address their problems? Obviously, television is an escape. Gaming is an escape; however, VMK carries an additional component of two-way text conversation, which is missing from a video game or television.

The way we control our conversation is important as it is a danger to individual seeking missing components of real life.

 

[mtlhddoc2]

It is interesting that you have such strong reservations regarding making available information for readers.

I suppose you read not one single word of what I have posted? I find your demeanor condecending. I suppose you are the only brain on the planet? Sorry, but being boorish does not make you an expert on the subject and being pompous does not make your words get heard.

try reading back through the posts and read what I actually wrote. I am not attempting to suppress any information at all, nor do I suggest consulting your editors, what I suggest is you get off your high horse and actually educate instead of attempting to make yourself look smarter by using words which are unnessecary to teh conversation. I also suggest a little research of the human subject instead of over-inflated reports and shock-value statistic.

 

[bowlofcereal]

I suppose you read not one single word of what I have posted? I find your demeanor condecending. I suppose you are the only brain on the planet? Sorry, but being boorish does not make you an expert on the subject and being pompous does not make your words get heard.

try reading back through the posts and read what I actually wrote. I am not attempting to suppress any information at all, nor do I suggest consulting your editors, what I suggest is you get off your high horse and actually educate instead of attempting to make yourself look smarter by using words which are unnessecary to teh conversation. I also suggest a little research of the human subject instead of over-inflated reports and shock-value statistic.

Of course rudeness does not make someone an expert, however, adding content irrelevant to the thread creates and obvious distraction to the useful information. Second, seeking individuals to add to the content is far from being arrogant. I would urge you to add to the content instead of diluting the thread.

 

[mtlhddoc2]

No, you are right, adding content irrelevant to an irrelevant thread when seeking to only make it actually understandable to its target audience is never a good thing.

Seeking individuals to add to that content and then when one does, attempting to smear them with comments like "It is interesting that you have such strong reservations regarding making available information for readers." is certainly a way to make this absolutely important TOPIC irrelevant.

you are right, rudeness does not make me an expert. But I was an expert before your rudeness, arrogance and claims of moral superiority interceded, which in turn, cause persons to react in exactly the way you intended. You confess that you know next to nothing on the topic and then bash those who actually have knowledge. So much for "seeking individuals to add to the content" - more like "seeking individuals to say good job and way to go" - sorry that I cannot say "good job" to you, since you obviously failed miserably at the point you were trying to make.

Pretty sad that a person such as myself who has a degree in Political Science and is often called uopn for public speaking looks at your statements with puzzlement. Not because your topic is not worthy, but because your wording is excruciatingly painfully exculpatory in nature. Offering no evidence whatsoever as to WHY you think what you think. You preach instead of teach. You demand compliance instead of offer assistance. Browbeating never gets your target audiences attention.

 

[Captain Brain]

His words have been proven by "kid" posters here, to be too big and confusing, (Brain my dear friend, we know you are more than capable of understanding. But you are a rare exception to the majority of kids here.) and he/she should not be attempting to "teach a college class" to 8 to 14 year olds. Not here. IMHO, maybe you want to search for a more appropriate forum for your version of "life lessons, in big words, on/about internet relationships".

Thanks Duck.

If you don't believe that kids should meet people online, there we go. If you are like my parents and actually watch my posts, and know who I'm talking to and when they're going to be at WDW, that's magical.

My parents didn't care if I met with someone as long as I told them about it beforehand so they could read a few of their posts so they know that they could be relatively trusted. They wouldn't leave me, of course.

I was only able to read and comprehend what it said thanks to my friend Merriam. (Webster )

 

[bowlofcereal]

Experts say online games like Virtual Magic Kingdom (VMK) and other role-playing games provide an alternate life in which people who have real life issues can become powerful or plug into a world where they can escape.

Like drugs, a lot of people are using online role-playing as a coping mechanism for what's happening in their life.

Why is this a danger?
Because real life problems are not being addressed and a codependent relationship is created.

How do we help?
Self-control in our interactions with the players to ensure you do not become part of the problem.

 

[Captain Brain]

Yes, VMK is my escape from high school, and other things. I'm sure that other people's, let's say...roughly 65 percent of the posters here play VMK to escape something in their life. Be it work, school, spouse, or kids, VMK is their escape.

I need to cut down on the Desperate Housewives, I'm starting to sound like Mary Alice.

 

[mtlhddoc2]

Experts say online games like Virtual Magic Kingdom (VMK) and other role-playing games provide an alternate life in which people who have real life issues can become powerful or plug into a world where they can escape.

Why is this a danger?
Because real life problems are not being addressed and a codependent relationship is created.

How do we help?
self-control

and how do we obtain self control? The teaching of parents, teachers, friends, and other learning environments. But these teachings are also the PROVINCE of the parents, and cannot be demanded, forced or otherwise by someone else. To do so is an attempt to ursurp parental influences (good or bad makes no difference) - and that attempt, however well intended, is truly obnoxious. All we should be doing is informing. Nothing more, nothing less. We can attempt to advise, but we should never demand. To deal in absolutes, as a wise being once said, is the province of the Dark Side.

 

[mtlhddoc2]

Yes, VMK is my escape from high school, and other things. I'm sure that other people's, let's say...roughly 65 percent of the posters here play VMK to escape something in their life. Be it work, school, spouse, or kids, VMK is their escape.

I need to cut down on the Desperate Housewives, I'm starting to sound like Mary Alice.

Brain: All entertainment, in any form, is an escape, be it television, online gaming, or (gasp!) READING. Escapism is an art form which human being mastered long ago. Everything we do which does not directly relate to te issues in our lives is an escape. For some, it is going to the movies, or an amusement park, or collecting marbles, or playing softball. Whatever. There is nothing inherently wrong with escapism in a general sense. Escaping for a short time is how we keep from allowing our issues to consume our lives. It is when the real world is negatively affected by the escapism that there becomes an issue. and while this does happen to some, it is by and large, not a majority.

 

[bowlofcereal]

Yes, VMK is my escape from high school, and other things. I'm sure that other people's, let's say...roughly 65 percent of the posters here play VMK to escape something in their life. Be it work, school, spouse, or kids, VMK is their escape.

I need to cut down on the Desperate Housewives, I'm starting to sound like Mary Alice.

Captain, I thank you for your comments. Is Virtual Magic Kingdom (VMK) an escape or reward for you? It seems you are still attending school and I hope doing well in your studies. Seeing VMK as a game and as a reward is healthily. The unhealthily trait begins when school is missed in order to escape what needs to be addressed.

This thread is about individuals that engage in conversations online in an attempt to increase a person’s reliance on their support. The individual becomes codependent and addicted to the game as a fixed escape.

Playing VMK for its value as a game and a reward at the end of your day is healthy.

 

[mtlhddoc2]

This thread is about individuals that engage in conversations online in an attempt to increase a person’s reliance on their support. The individual becomes codependent and addicted to the game as a fixed escape.

Playing VMK for its value as a game and a reward at the end of your day is healthy.

Thats pretty amazing, I got none of that from your previous posts.

 

[bowlofcereal]

and how do we obtain self control? The teaching of parents, teachers, friends, and other learning environments. But these teachings are also the PROVINCE of the parents, and cannot be demanded, forced or otherwise by someone else. To do so is an attempt to ursurp parental influences (good or bad makes no difference) - and that attempt, however well intended, is truly obnoxious. All we should be doing is informing. Nothing more, nothing less. We can attempt to advise, but we should never demand. To deal in absolutes, as a wise being once said, is the province of the Dark Side.

Agree. First, make people aware of the dangers of how they interact in their conversations. Second, present a simple character based solution, without demanding adherence to its activity.

Of course, we cannot demand or change parental influences, however we can help people see and understand behavioural traits. In life, an interaction takes two people. By controlling our own behaviour and conversations makes a difference in other people. This is also true when we fail to control our conversations.