First I want to start with how wonderful Disney and Diane Bowen were with our wedding. Not once during our day did we ever feel that Disney treated us any differently than they would have if we had been a traditional couple getting married there. While Disney has caught up with the times, the state of Florida has not. We do live in the Northeast where several states do recogize our relationship and provide us with the means to a legal marriage. At that time the state of New York did not allow same sex marriages so we had to go to another state. We at first thought of my hometown in Vermont. I did not like any of the justices of the peace and was not really comfortable with that choice. My sister then put a bug in my ear and suggested that maybe we should consider my Uncle in Conneticut who is a justice of the peace. At first I was hesitant with this idea also. While all my relatives knew I was gay and in a relationship (we did adopt three kids) we never really discussed it with family. I could not get the idea out of my head though. I mean would we rather be married by someone we don't know or celebrate our union with family. I decided to throw caution to the wind and contact my Aunt and Uncle to see how they would feel about it. They were on board one hundred percent. We decided that we wanted to keep the legal wedding as close to the Disney wedding as possible and settled on the weekend before our departure date. We were to be legally married on April 30th in Connecticut.
This was a very simple, small and relaxed affair. Nothing fancy, we were saving the pomp and circumstance for Disney. We were having the ceremony at my Aunt and Uncle's home which was a little over two hours away. We kept guest list to immediate family My father, sister and long time friend (who could not go to Florida and is like a sister to me) were there. Also Jeff's mother and all our kids rounded out the guest list. The trip down felt like it went by in an instance and we were arriving at my Aunts and Uncles home.
It was a beautiful spring day with the sun shining and a warm breeze. It was perfect. Originally we were going to have my Uncle perform the ceremony in their living room, but with such a beautiful day I asked if maybe we could do it on their back deck. God bless my poor Aunt, she looked like a deer in headlights when I asked. I am sure she cleaned and got everything perfect in the house and here I am asking to change it. She was so worried because being early spring she had not cleaned the deck off from the winter, but it was such a beautiful day to waste. I assured her everything was perfect and we headed outside to have the ceremony. The next five minutes was such a blur. I know my Uncle said something, Jeff said something, I said something and rings were put on our fingers and poof married and kissing.
Here is the ceremony as it was performed:
James and Jeff I am happy to be here today to extend great joy and support as you are united in marriage. This is a day of remembering the years you have Shared and a day of anticipation of all of the years yet to come.
You each come to this relationship with love and affection, encouragement
commitment and celebration-- eager to share your growing lives.
Marriage will symbolize the intimacy between you both. Yet this closeness should not diminish but in fact strengthen the individuality of each of you.
Thus a marriage is not to be entered into lightly but rather to be undertaken with great consideration respect and most of all love for each other.
James and Jeff no words we say here today can join you in marriage As only you have the power to join yourselves in marriage.
James please repeat the following:
I James welcome you Jeff as my wedded partner and companion in life. I will love,cherish, honor and respect you. I promise to be faithful, supportive and
understanding from this day forward May our love forever keep us strong.
Jeff please repeat the following:
I Jeff welcome you James as my wedded partner and companion in life. I will love,cherish, honor and respect you. I promise to be faithful, supportive and
understanding from this day forward. May our love forever keep us strong.
James as you place your ring on Jeff's finger repeat the following...you are my
beloved you are my friend with this ring I marry you and join my life with yours.
Jeff as you place your ring on James finger repeat the following...you are my
beloved you are my friend with this ring I marry you and join my life with yours.
James and Jeff I have witnessed your vows and it is with great pleasure I
announce that you are now married.
May you live joyously, laugh freely, provide strength where there is weakness,
Allow room for each of you to grow and thrive as individuals and most of all may you truly love each other for all of the days yet to come.
We were now married.
Afterwards my sister surprised us with a cake she had made and some champage she had brought from home. My Aunt provided some light fare and we chatted for awhile before we packed up the horde of children and guests and returned home. Now, however we were returning as a married couple.
Even though we could not have our legal ceremony at Walt Disney World, the silver lining is the we instead got not one but two beautiful weddings.
Pictures From the Day:
Next stop.... Walt Disney World