New Rules for Disney Parks

[Fractal514]

This thread is ALA Bill Maher and his New Rules segment on his show. These are intended to be funny, if somewhat true, rules for the parks. If you have no sense of humor or are easily offended, you should probably not read this thread. Any new rules posted that I think fit the spirit of the thread will get added to this first post.


New Rule, When your child insists on sitting on the railing every single time the line stops moving, I secretly wish for them to fall and get hurt. Not badly, but just enough to learn their lesson.

New Rule, If you sit dead center after being asked to move 2/3's of the way across before sitting, I will not only choose your aisle so that I can clumsily climb over you, but I will try very hard to fart while doing so.

New Rule, When I see an EVC coming towards the bus I'm on, I close my eyes and concentrate very hard on trying to get the bus driver to pull away. I know I'm going to hell, but I'm really tired.

New Rule, If you complain loudly and obnoxiously about children out Disney, you're really saying "I'm a cranky old moron who hates children and yet selected a theme park for vacation, I will probably die alone."

New Rule, It's the same ride in 5 minutes as it is in 10, you'll live, shut up and smile, you're at Disney World.

New Rule, No you didn't have an ADR, we all know you didn't, and no matter how much you yell at the hostess and ask your wife to confirm, we know you're a liar and that you two are in cahoots like Bonnie and Clyde, now please leave Canada and go eat at Marakesh.

New Rule, Ok, I get it, it's a giant talking potato and they don't have those in your country, now put away the camera and stop holding up the line.

Those are some of mine, what are yours?

 

[LockShockBarrel]

AHAHAH I love this!

Putting on the flame suit for this one, and anyone who knows me on these boards, particularly the disAbilities board knows I don't mean this in an offensive way.

New Rule: Get out of the wheelchair, you're not fooling anyone. You're not getting to the front of the line and you've run over my toes 6 times. I hope you can feel my laser like glare.

 

[stitch09]

This thread is ALA Bill Maher and his New Rules segment on his show. These are intended to be funny, if somewhat true, rules for the parks. If you have no sense of humor or are easily offended, you should probably not read this thread. Any new rules posted that I think fit the spirit of the thread will get added to this first post.


New Rule, When your child insists on sitting on the railing every single time the line stops moving, I secretly wish for them to fall and get hurt. Not badly, but just enough to learn their lesson.

New Rule, If you sit dead center after being asked to move 2/3's of the way across before sitting, I will not only choose your aisle so that I can clumsily climb over you, but I will try very hard to fart while doing so.

New Rule, When I see an EVC coming towards the bus I'm on, I close my eyes and concentrate very hard on trying to get the bus driver to pull away. I know I'm going to hell, but I'm really tired.

New Rule, If you complain loudly and obnoxiously about children out Disney, you're really saying "I'm a *****y old moron who hates children and yet selected a theme park for vacation, I will probably die alone."

New Rule, It's the same ride in 5 minutes as it is in 10, you'll live, shut up and smile, you're at Disney World.

New Rule, No you didn't have an ADR, we all know you didn't, and no matter how much you yell at the hostess and ask your wife to confirm, we know you're a liar and that you two are in cahoots like Bonnie and Clyde, now please leave Canada and go eat at Marakesh.

New Rule, Ok, I get it, it's a giant talking potato and they don't have those in your country, now put away the camera and stop holding up the line.

Those are some of mine, what are yours?

Every one of these made me laugh out loud!! A good, amusing break from my accounting homework!!

 

[ban26ana]

New Rule, If you sit dead center after being asked to move 2/3's of the way across before sitting, I will not only choose your aisle so that I can clumsily climb over you, but I will try very hard to fart while doing so.

This made me laugh so hard!!!

 

[cglaura]

New Rule: Your small child doesn't understand the concept "I didn't pay xx amount of dollars for this trip so you could sit around and color!" Just relax have a drink and let your kid enjoy the Kidkot Stations already! Kids need a break too

And for that matter:

New Rule: I paid alot for my trip too. Everyone there paid alot. Your money isn't any better than mine, and doesn't entitle you to didddlysquat in terms of waiting, etc.

 

[maxiesmom]

I predict a thread where people openly talk about being mean and wishing ill on others, all under the guise of being funny, will not last long.

Saying something mean and then going Ha ha, just kidding! doesn't make it any less mean.

 

[RMulieri]

I LOVE IT

 

[glevan]

New rule: When are you trying to take picture of your family in front of the caste but you've moved back from your family about 20 feet, please know that you are blocking traffic for 100's of folks. Therefore, instead of waiting for you to get your camera out, turn it on, focus, move back 2 more feet, etc., we will instead just stand next to your family and put stickers on them until you take the dang shot...

 

[Disneyfreak05]

 

[wtccheermom]

New Rule – Any child over 6 who needs to be pushed around the park in a stroller because they are too tired to walk should be taken back to the hotel for a mandatory swim and rest break instead of having to go commando at all cost.

 

[Leota]

We all know that you want to see the coveted Ca. Grill view of Wishes, but if you don't attend to your screaming child, I will come to your table & scream in your ear until you get the point.

 

[BigGreen73]

New Rule: Your small child doesn't understand the concept "I didn't pay xx amount of dollars for this trip so you could sit around and color!" Just relax have a drink and let your kid enjoy the Kidkot Stations already! Kids need a break too

Love this thread! I know it won't last long, but let's enjoy while we can. Anyway, this ones great! I can't count how many times I heard this on my vacation at WDW just last week!!

 

[BigGreen73]

New Rule – Any child over 6 who needs to be pushed around the park in a stroller because they are too tired to walk should be taken back to the hotel for a mandatory swim and rest break instead of having to go commando at all cost.

Nothing like seeing half dead kids being pushed around the parks unconscious because a mid day break isn't part of the plan. Bet they'll remember all those pics that were taken of them pushed between characters while they were asleep too.

 

[PMDR59]

 

[Michelle and crew]

I predict a thread where people openly talk about being mean and wishing ill on others, all under the guise of being funny, will not last long.

Saying something mean and then going Ha ha, just kidding! doesn't make it any less mean.

no kidding. I am certainly glad the op is so perfect. frankly i like disabled people. Nor do I have issues with people from different countries.

I will happily pass you in all of the standby lines because you aren't clever enough to get a fp. Oh yeah...

i hope that all of the pompous folks that have issues with people with disabilities eventually suffer from one...

 

[Eljay]

I know you are lost, but don't stop pushing your double stroller, right in the middle of the path by Dumbo, just to get your bearings. Okay?

 

[robinb]

I predict a thread where people openly talk about being mean and wishing ill on others, all under the guise of being funny, will not last long.

Saying something mean and then going Ha ha, just kidding! doesn't make it any less mean.

Hmmm ... I was thinking the same thing.

 

[diamondcharl]

Lighten up people... sometimes things can just be funny!
We dont have to make a social commentary out of every post!

p.s. i especially like the one about coloring in epcot... i am soooooooooooooo guilty of this!

 

[PrincessAli]

no kidding. I am certainly glad the op is so perfect. frankly i like disabled people. Nor do I have issues with people from different countries.

I will happily pass you in all of the standby lines because you aren't clever enough to get a fp. Oh yeah...

i hope that all of the pompous folks that have issues with people with disabilities eventually suffer from one...

I don't wish anyone any harm so that they might oneday have to use a wheelchair or ECV BUT---
A few years ago I waited in line for an elderly man to TRY and navigate his ECV onto a bus headed for the MK. It was hot, babies were screaming, others just looked annoyed. The man and his wife were both terribly embarrassed. A young man came out of the line and drove the ECV onto the bus for this gentleman, another man helped the man onto the bus and onto a seat.
I saw them later in the day and the elderly man was grinning from ear to ear. Without the use of his ECV he most likely would not have been able to spend a Magical Day at the MK.
I don't know who the other two men were or if they would read this, but I would like to Thankyou again for being so kind in helping that man have a nice day.

I , myself enjoy reading this thread, I laughed as well,. I know my next comment doesn't belong here, but I never thought about this myself until after being annoyed while waiting for ECV's to be loaded on the buses. The ECV's at the parks can be used by anyone whether or not they have disabilities and they can not be removed from the parks. ECV's must be a little expensive to rent or buy so I would think that any body that uses one outside a park MUST be ill, or have disabilities that cause them to rely on these ECV's to get around. I'm sure they wish they could also stand in line to wait for a bus.

 

[Michelle and crew]

Lighten up people... sometimes things can just be funny!
We dont have to make a social commentary out of every post!

p.s. i especially like the one about coloring in epcot... i am soooooooooooooo guilty of this!

i know...it will be so funny when you or your parent, child or spouse are in a wheel chair!!