I totally get what you're saying about dieting taking you down a bad path - good on you for realizing that you need to do this right and not take eating better and being healthier to a bad place.
Also, re: coffee - I do a splash of nonfat milk (which is the only milk I drink in general, but that's because I grew up on nonfat milk)(also, more than a splash in iced coffee) but no sugar. To me, the key to cutting out sugar was making sure I was drinking good coffee. Once I got used to good coffee with no sugar, I was able to tolerate some not-so-good coffees without sugar.