How old is "too old" for a woman to have a baby?

[wenrob]

I'm 39 and still hoping that we might have a baby after years of trying.

My kids are IVF babies. It was a battle well worth fighting. Best of luck to you.

I'm sorry, probably should have clarified that she had complications with the last one, and lost one either one or two before that, so it's a combination of age and other factors. We are all hoping for another healthy grand niece or nephew!

Terri

My previous post was before I saw this. Still, it’s her decision.

 

[bcla]

I know a woman who had her first and only child at age 40. By 44 she wanted another but was having difficulty and tried artificial insemination to improve the chances. However, after a certain point many fertility clinics recommend against it because the success rates start going way down. She actually ended up pregnant again (naturally) at 45, but miscarried. The other issue at such an older age there's a higher chance of miscarriage or birth defects. The age of the father/sperm donor matters too.

I have some opinions on the ethics of fertility clinics serving older women with increasingly small chances of getting pregnant. There are some clinics that will take a patient's money because they're desperate and they're the only one willing to try, even though they might list something like a 5% success rate. Sometimes the prospective mother doesn't want to know the statistics but rather maintain hope about getting pregnant.

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

If there have been complicatins then I'd say its probably time to stop.

But in general I'd say about 40-42.

My mom was 7 weeks shy of 39 when I was born.

My sister's friend was 36 when she had her first and she's a few months shy of being 38 and she just had her second child the other day.

 

[Hikergirl]

For me it was 30. It is such a personal decision, there is no right or wrong answer.

 

[usnuzuloose]

There is no time limit for any woman.

 

[Pumbaa_]

So many factors. How healthy is the mom AND the dad? Are there any health factors that will be a high possibility of birth defects?

Parents owe it to their children to give them the best they can. Ideally be alive to see them into early adulthood

Personally I would have more to say about fathering a child in your 60's or 70's than a woman around 40

 

[Colleen27]

Not my circus, not my monkeys. I knew I wanted to be done with having babies by 30 but that was specific to the circumstances of my life. I wouldn't dream of pretending to know what is right or wrong for someone else. They're the ones who have to raise the child and deal with the potentially higher risk of complications that comes with age, not me.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

My personal decision was no kids after 30. I didn’t want to be pushing 50-60 at high school graduation. I also wanted my kids to have relationships with grandparents while they were still young.

I had my kids pretty young. I’ll be 41 when my youngest graduates HS. I’m looking forward to that freedom.

 

[soccerdad72]

446 months

 

[indimom]

I had my two young so I never really had a cutoff age. I'm now 44 and I wouldn't even want to consider it. I just can't imagine an 18-22 year commitment to a new child now. But, I've got two older sisters who would still gladly have another child.

 

[North of Mouse]

Had my first at 21, 3rd/last at 36. Enjoyed my first two much more as far as the energy I had for them.
My concern would be my energy level at 40-50 - whatever - than the actual age, also thinking about dealing with teenagers in my 60's - no thanks!! LOL

 

[Skellingtonj]

Had my 2nd at 32 then had my tubes tied. At 42 I cant imagine having a Third. The money, the time, the energy... not for me

 

[ReneeA]

No kids for me after 30. My last was born a month prior to that. ☺ One of my dear friends had an oooppps at 42 just after a divorce & trying unsuccessfully for 12 years. Then had a second at 47 after being told she was fully in menopause. Both children are wonderful, but she's TIRED.

 

[lifesavacation]

I would never judge anyone for being too old. To each his own. I was 30 when I had my last child. Now that she’s 14, I’m glad I didn’t wait any longer because I am tired!

 

[aristocatz]

A woman is too old when she can no longer have them or doesn't want to have them anymore. I would never presume to make that decision for anyone else.

Agreed completely. I think its awful how some women are stigmatized for not doing everything so early in life. I got married "late" by society standards-at age 35. Found my Mr Right at age 31 & got married a few years later. I had my first baby at age 36 & my second baby at age 38. I had family members who criticized and instilled a lot of anxiety that I would have birth complications, due to my age. I didn't get to "enjoy" my last pregnancy, because I was made to feel so worried that the baby would have complications, due to my age. Baby was healthy, and I regret falling prey to the judgment.

 

[aprilchem]

Whenever it works out. I'm in a profession (college professor) where women tend to have babies very late in life. It's difficult to have a baby and get a Ph.D. or work toward tenure at the same time, so a lot of us wait until we're tenured to do it. A good friend of mine had twins at 45; she's now 53 and is doing just fine. I've had many other friends have babies at 40 or after.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I started trying when I was 34, got pregnant at 35, and had DS at 36. I remember going through prenatal testing feeling grateful that I got pregnant at 35 instead of 34, because the increase in risk is negligible but the increase in care is substantial. Doctors and genetic counselors told me that the "advanced maternal age" of 35 is a rather arbitrary choice, since 35 is not that much riskier than, say, 33 or even 31, but they have to draw the line somewhere and that's what's been chosen. The biggest difference is the willingness of doctors to order the full gamut of tests and the willingness of the insurance companies to pay for it. By the time I was 13 weeks, I knew the fetus was negative for all chromosomal abnormalities, negative for Cystic Fibrosis, some other things that escape me and, bonus, had a gender confirmation. It gave me great peace of mind for the remainder of the pregnancy and I remember thinking how much it would suck to be a young 22 year old and not having access to this level of care, possibly only finding out my baby suffered from one of these conditions at the birth. Of course, no one has to do testing to that extent if they don't want to, but at 35+ it all becomes available to you without hassle or expense. So for every bit of increased risk that comes with age, I felt it was more than mitigated by an increased level of care.

My personal cut off for having more children will be when my husband and I decide we don't want more or when my fertility runs out, whichever comes first, but it won't be based on an arbitrary age.

 

[tvguy]

I think only a woman's Doctor can truly answer that.

My wife had our first at age 29, no issues.
She had our second at age 33, and her Doctor said because she was over 30, there were additional things he needed to monitor, and tests that had to be done, due to her age. This was in 1991. But she had no issues then either.

Just checking quickly, it appears that places like the University of Rochester Medical Center still consider age 30 a threshold that brings with it increased risks.
https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentTypeID=90&ContentID=P02481

Like so many things in medicine and in life, they keep statistics on everything, and while those are not concrete rules, they are helpful guidelines.

 

[Marchand63]

Had my last at 23, now enjoying grands & freedom. Why would you want to tie yourself down later in life. My xDH wanted one I our forties - oh heck no.

 

[mom2rtk]

Had my last at 23, now enjoying grands & freedom. Why would you want to tie yourself down later in life. My xDH wanted one I our forties - oh heck no.

And many would say why tie yourself down so early in life. Some are thrilled to be tied down later in life after years of medical intervention trying to start their families. It really is a very individual decision.