Dona's Wish Journal

[donac]

I haven't written much in the last couple of years and it is about time to do it. I need a place to write. My bp since the beginning of the school year is higher than it should be and I need a place to vent.

You don't have to respond to any of my posts. I just need a place to go when I need to Scream and I have felt like doing that a lot this school year.

 

[donac]

Did get in some walking this morning. 15 minutes is not a lot but it is more than I did yesterday. i have yoga tonight. That has been a great thing for the last year. I need to do some home practice. Time to get back to it.

School wasn't bad today. I did not get everything done that I wanted to. A few kids came in for extra help so I didn't have time this morning to get some grading done.

Copier is down again. At least all my tests have been put on the computer.

My feet are hurting. My eye does feel a little better today.

eating hasn't been the best but not too bad.

 

[donac]

Just got back from yoga. Even after a year I can't believe how physical it could be.

Something that I read about this evening has been on my mind. I have been feeling low lately. But when I hear about other people's problems I get so angry with myself for feeling this way. I am have so much and I wish I could do more for other people. I just have to remember this feeling.

Off to watch Project Runway.

 

[toystoryduo]

Hi Dona,

Welcome Back to WISH! I'm sending some good thoughts your way. I hope things start to look up for you soon!

Have a nice weekend!

 

[donac]

Thanks Tracey for the welcome back.. I never really left but I haven't written a journal in a while.

What a crazy day. I didn't get as much as I should have. A fire in the chem lab sent us out in the cold during my AP calc test. I don't know if I should make a new test, which would be a royal pain, or just give them 15 more minutes. It will probably be 15 more minutes. I got some grading done but not enough.

F wants to see which of her students left my class and how the rest of them are doing. I really don't want her looking at my graddes but I also don't want to cause any trouble. We know that she got a copy of j's test and used that for her class. I just don't understand her. How do you not know how important SOHCAHTOA is to trig.

I am so glad the the weekend is here. My eating today was pretty good. I almost took a bagel from the main office but I held back. I know I didn't get enough fruits and veggies in but I didn't overeat or eat anything that I really didn't plan on.

Walking out to the fire drill and walking around for that 20 minutes in the cold was enough for me. Yoga last night killed me. My arms are okay but still tight.

Hope to get my quilt top basted tomorrow morning.

 

[toystoryduo]

I'm sorry to hear about the fire in the chem lab. Is everyone okay? As far as the testing goes, maybe you can give the students 15 minutes to finish their tests. That would save you the work of having to make up a new test.

I hope you have been enjoying a nice, relaxing weekend. Have a wonderful week ahead!

 

[donac]

Been a busy couple of days. I wish I could get really hard core back in to exercise like I did a couple of years ago.

Most days I am getting my steps in. Yesterday I got in 16000 but the day before I only got in 7000.

Yesterday I was hungry all day long. I didn't eat as well as I should have.

Today has been better. I just need to get through dinner. I still have to figure it out. I should make some red pepper soup for lunches.

Pretty quiet here. Sean called last night to ask about pulled pork for the Newman house tomorrow night. Then he texted me about crockpot liners being on sale. YOu've got to love him.

I have a pile of papers on my desk at work to grade. Maybe no one will come in tomorrow because I am not giving a test tomorrow. Then I can get some paperwork done. I do have to remember to do some Take 10's for the classes.

Off to get some things done around here.

 

[donac]

TIme to Scream
We just got this email:

Hi everyone,

I just confirmed with Mom and Mo this morning during my visit that Thanksgiving will be at my home this year. Mo agreed to drive. I finally got a new oven last year. It will make Mike's drive a lot shorter also. Of course, everyone's girlfriends are invited. I'd appreciate a headcount by Nov. 15 so I can order the fresh turkey through work. I don't know how to make stuffing though and could use some help.

Dennis, Happy Birthday!

kathy

First off she can't cook. Why do I want to go to some place where they don't cook.

Second I have cooked for Thanksgiving for the last 5 years and brought Christmas the last 4. WHy because mom is too frail to travel and dad can't travel too far without stopping at a bathroom. Why all of a sudden can they travel

Third They never even called me and asked me. After all that we have done for his family you would think that they would have the common courtesy to call me.

I want to cry but I can't I am in too much of shock. Dennis is furious. He has already talked to his folks but Mo is not there and she is the one who made the decision with his sister.

I know Dennis doesn't want to go to Kathy since she yelled him the last time we had a holiday there. But he just told me that even if that hadn't happened he still wouldn't want to go to Kathy's. She has shown me a great deal of disrespect.

 

[donac]

Good morning.

Dr's appointment did not go the way I wanted it to. It was still not down in the office. Yet at home I got 124/80 on mine. It has been like this for the last two weeks yet it was 140/90. I don't understand it. I know it is usually high when the nurse takes it but when the dr takes it is usually okay. She has told me to monitor this for the next few months and to come back at the end of Feb.

I was not happy and then it was rainy and we had to drive out to see ds2 so my eating was not that great yesterday. we had a great visit with ds. He was telling us about some of his classes. One of his projects is about a cutting edge material used for roads. His group found out about hemp/crete. Concrete with hemp inbedded in it. He is headed to a conference today out in Pittsburgh.

My car is going in the shop today so I will be stuck at home. I am happy about this because then I can do some things around here. I want to reorganize my sewing room but I think that will wait until Christmas vacation. I can't find the types of containers that I want to put my fabric in and I will probably be able to when the Jan reorganization things come out. Those things usually show up as the Christmas stuff goes away.

Off to get somethings done. Have a great day everyone.

 

[donac]

What a week it has been. First Kathy's letter. Then Dennis replied

Dear All,
Did anyone at all think that maybe Dona should have been included in the decision to move Thanksgiving?
She has done an awful lot of cooking for the family over the years and even moved the Coffey Xmas dinner to Toms River to make it all more convenient for Mom and Dad.
Doesn't she deserve a little consideration?
How much effort would it have taken to include her in this decision to shift?
If that isn't enough to think about, how about the thought that Mom is too frail to travel or Dad's weak bladder?
Is that all forgotten?
At this point, the W.L.B. Coffey family will not attend this Thanksgiving celebration.
I know that no one set out to hurt Dona's feelings, but they are hurt just the same.
Dennis


I thought Dennis was fair but then Kathy wrote back

Dennis,

I am truly sorry that Dona felt hurt and yourself. I really offered to do this to help her out. I know she has been doing a lot of cooking for the holidays. I felt that I wasn't pulling my share. I did ask Mom last week to see how she and dad felt about the drive if they were up to it. I should have called Dona yesterday after I found out that they were up to it and Mo agreed to drive. It was not a conscious decision to exclude Dona but rather that I'm short of time and didn't think of it.

I have been working six days a week for about six months. I only had time for a brief visit which included updating medical records and paperwork. You might not know that I handle lots of files and records for both of them and arrange some appointments, etc. I know that you have been helping with lots of the yardwork and repairs. We are all trying to help them in our own ways.

Again, I apologize. My intentions were to help not to split the family through an oversight on my part. This email really hurt me as well.
I hope that we all can get over our hurt feelings and look to a joyful Christmas which celebrates family together.

Kathy

It is all about her. we hurt her feelings when she changed Thanksgiving and never THOUGHT to talk to me we later found out that her discussion was about 5 minutes and she wanted people to come to her house because we hadn't been there for a while. Well no one has been to our house for a while and there is a reason for that. Mom and dad can't really travel. especially mom. She takes naps every day and where can she nap at Kathy's house. Well the topper came in yesterday.

Good morning Dennis,

After discussions with Mom this morning, Thanksgiving dinner will be at their home. I am very willing to give up the cooking reins to Dona, who is a much better cook than I. If you can still join the family and Dona wants to cook that would be great! I can revert back to bringing some pies, applesauce, cider, cranberry relish, whatever. To me, the important part of the celebration is that we can give thanks with both of our parents. This is not the case with most of my friends.

Please let me know what you decide and I can plan accordingly.

kathy

Not even an "I'm sorry" She never really said it in her 2nd email so I am not expecting one. We never told my parents we were coming up for the holiday. We said we would decide this by the end of this weekend. Now we feel we have to go. It is going to be very hard to be cordial to someone who has no consideration for someone else's feelings. We are going and I am cooking again but some of the enjoyment is gone out of it.

 

[donac]

Had a great time at my Mother's Day present. Saw Michael Finestein last night. What a great show. Even though he did mostly Sinatra there was musical from several of his other albums. The seats were great. It was a nice theater. Seats were comfortable. His knowledge of music and its history always blows me away. He told some great stories about Frank and Sammy

The bad part of the evening we were walking to the parking garage and I heard a click or a pop and my left knee went out. I didn't fall but it just went. I think something is in there maybe some arthritis. I can walk but it is very sore. I don't know how I am going to get my grocery shopping done. It is going to be very slow. It has to be better by Thursday. I can't miss yoga.

Tough night sleeping. I had to sleep on my right side, normally my left. I was up at 3:20 because of daylight savings time. This is going to be a long day. We also have to go out with Mary Ann and Bob. I hope he doesn't go off on teachers. It would ruin the day.

 

[donac]

Good afternoon everyone.

I was up early this morning to go grocery shopping. I usually go shopping on Sunday but last Sunday it seemed like people who were shopping had never been in a grocery store. I told my dh that it seemed like there were a bunch of amatuer cooks in the aisles. Parking their carts in the middle of the aisle so no one could get through. Standing and staring at the shelfs like they have never seen them before. I saw someone in the spice aisle this morning staring at the spices for 5 minutes and she was still there when I left the area.

I came home with a large turkey for the 11 or 12 people I am cooking for. Turkey is in a pan in the frig starting it's defrost.

TOnight dh and I are going to a friend's 50th birthday party. His wife celebrated her 50th a couple of years ago. He knew she loved surprises so he planned a big party for her. I was on the planning committee. We had a partial pot luck and she loved it. But everytime he sent out an email he told us that he didn't want a surprise party. I don't know how this is going to work out. She told me that it is only 10 people. We seem to think that she means 10 couples. We shall see. It is at their house so it can't be as big as her party. I hope he isn't too mad. Dh did not tell him but told him to be on the lookout for any and everything


Yesterday was a little surprising. We were the only parent who showed up. But their reception was some subs and ds is very picky about what is on his sub so I am glad we took him out to an early dinner. It was also nice to have a relaxing day. Next week will be pretty crazy with 2 1/2 days.

Off to get some things done before we have to go. If I missed anyone HI Have a great evening everyone.

 

[mikamah]

Hello Dona!!

I was just lurking the wish board and saw your journal. I think about starting one, and never do.

I can't believe your sil! How frustrating, and now you are going to do it all again. You are a saint. I know I would not be as patient as you. It is so nice your dh stands up for you.

I hope you are able to enjoy your time with your mil and fil, and i hope they appreciate all that you do for them. I'm sure they will be very happy to be able to stay in their home again.

Happy Thanksgiving week!!

 

[donac]

I am so worried about today. How can I be nice to Kathy after her blowing me off that way. I hope that I can keep my cool.

Turkey is in. Potatoes are going in next into the crockpots. Stuffing will go in about 10 and then the rest comes down and gets nuked at the house.

I know the food is going to be good and the boys will be with us. ALex will not and I am a little dissappointed with that but very glad that they made a grownup decision to split up so that they could both see their relatives.

Off to get some things done

Will be back later,.

 

[toystoryduo]

How did your Thanksgiving turn out? Did Kathy apologize? I hope the day went well for you.

How is your knee feeling? I hope it's feeling much better!

Have a wonderful weekend!

 

[donac]

Thanksgiving is over. Now on to Christmas.

AS Dennis says "Get over Kathy and ignore her." She never said a thing to me all day Thanksgiving. She never spoke to Dennis or the boys. She can plan things with everyone else except my family. She was telling MaryANn about talking to Mike in KC but couldn't call me about Thanksgiving. I guess I have to take Dennis's attitude. It is her problem. She is not getting to know our sons and it is her loss.

The food was fine at Thanksgiving. I was so angry at MaryANn and Mo. I helped put the food away but I was not going to wash dishes. So no one helped Kathy. That is her problem. They are her sisters. If she can't ask them for help then I am not going to do it.

Yesterday went to see the new Harry Potter movie. Since I hadn't reread that book in so long I thought I wouldn't rememer anything but I did. It was great. I can't wait until the last one is here. It should be a lot of fun.

I also got the pillowcases out of the house. They were all washed and dried. Finished folding them up at Francine's house. We packed up pillowcases for jersey shore, monmouth medical and the regional group. Had enough Christmas for the two hospitals and some for the regional group. I have some Christmas fabric left over and I will put it away and work on it next year.

I sat down last night and pulled what I had for the workshop. I think I have to put things into some sort of order tomorrow and see if I should add anything. I had a lot more than I thought so I think I am in good shape. I do have to sit down with Dennis and look at the tangrams. Monday morning I need to organize all the stuff I need to bring with me to the workshop and sit and hope that the copy room is working so that I can make my copies first thing Monday morning.

Today I need to quilt. I still haven't talked to Dennis about going up to mom's house today. He has a mind like a sieve and never remembers that we usuallly go up on the weekend. He may not go for it. He has gotten very stuborn in the last couple of years. If we don't plan something a week in advance then it may not fly. I was too busy over the weekend to think about it.

I woke up yesterday morning with my knee feeling great but as soon as I started feeding the dog and moving around it started to feel like a knife in my knee. Aleeve doesn't cut the pain when I am moving. If I am just sitting it is not too bad and if I sit long enough the pain goes away but as soon as I start to move it starts to hurt. I guess I better call a doctor.

Off to get some things done.

 

[donac]

Got to see a doctor today about my knee. He thinks it is torn minuscus. If it is not too bad then I may not need surgery. Need to go for an MRI Hopefully I can schedule one early next week.

Here's hoping that I don't need surgery.

 

[donac]

Haven't been on too much. Sorry but this knee has me down. I have an MRI scheduled for Tuesday afternoon.

I am sitting here wondering about our finances since tuition is due dec 15th. I know we have money but why do I have to pay it two weeks before Christmas. This so minor compared to what other people here are going through. I just keep saying only three more semesters. We are also lucky that he has an academic scholarship and his GPA is so high I know he is not going to lose it now.

Sorry I was up at 2:30 this morning and I think that and my knee is just getting to me.

We have been so blessed in our lives that it really bothers me when I complain. It is just I thought we had enough money from the summer loan and I don't know where he spent it all this summer. It was just gone.

I just wish we had some more money inthe bank but I know I am so much luckier than other people. I just worry about next year when my paycheck is going to go down. I know that there will be no raise and we will have to pay more for health insurance.

I just had to vent.

 

[donac]

Here it is 4 months later and I still have the same concerns.

I have been okay with my eating but not so much with my exercise. I have only lost about 5 pounds since January.

My knee was diagnosed as having a torn meniscus, torn cartiledge, arthritis and a stress fracture. It is doing okay. some days more painful than others. My other knee is still bothering me sometimes.

I am so down right now. It looks like we won't be going on any vacation this summer and maybe not next summer either. I should be happy that we both have jobs and that we two wonderful children. we are being responsible adults and trying to pay down our bills but it stinks to being responsible. I think that makes it worse. When I know that I should be happy but I just don't feel it.

I need to do somethings around here and maybe I would feel better.

I need to write out my feeling here more.

I wil be back.

 

[donac]

I have lost a friend and it hit really hard today. After not seeing Fred for a while it was not so bad. But seeing him today was very hard. He is so angry. He feels someone is spreading lies about him. I have never heard anyone say anything bad about the man. I don't know what is going on but I am very sad about it.

There was nothing at info age but garbage. Where are the costumes?

This will pass.